Is Heaven our Only Beloved Home?

One of my heroes, Billy Graham, is known for saying "My home is in heaven. I'm just traveling through this world." True, when we only consider the overwhelming enormity of eternity. 

However, missionaries - or any expat worker - should understand the fact that sometimes it is hard to choose to love... learn to love... or persevere in loving... that place and those people to which God has called us. In fact, just a few days ago, Ashley posted about this. This is especially true if we only consider the place a transient place, a place we can leave if it gets too hard or too uncomfortable or, in our opinion, too purposeless.

Easy to do, when our lives are full of transition... after transition... after transition... 

It would be nice if our ministries were always filled with warm fuzzies, deepening love, a good dose of nostalgia and always forward looking and measurable forward progress. If there was never any nastiness, violent and angry words, depressing divisions and certainly never any of the infamous instances of taking two steps forward only to slide back three. 

But they aren't.

Never say never... always avoid always... 

At least that's my strategy. It helps keep me a little more honest.

Focusing so much on heaven can distract from the here and now... resulting in aimlessness and to becoming of "no earthly good." Riveting eyes and efforts on the here and now only can overwhelm any hope of heaven to come and floundering and purposeless.

Reading through John 1 today, in the New Living Translation - not my normal version of the Bible, I stopped to meditate on verse 14: "So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son."

Normally, I've heard that verse rendered: "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." But today reading "made His home" started me thinking.

We define a home as the physical residence or shelter of a person or household... But more profoundly, home is (according to dictionary.com) also the place where affections are centered, a place of retreat or refuge. Frankly, a home must be made - whether by the person him/herself... or for him/her by others. It requires effort. Once you move in to the actual physical residence, more work is necessary. Stuff has to be put into its place, pictures on the wall, curtains in the windows, bedrooms assigned, towels folded, pantry filled. 

Then comes the work of figuring out routines and quirks to fit the new home. Where's actually the best place to put that kitchen table so that everyone can fit and move around the table? You try something and it doesn't work so you tweek it... or try something totally different. What's the best schedule to fit everyone through the shower when there are several of you sharing limited space. Sometimes there are arguments and disagreements about how something should work out. Living with other people calls for both dependence and independence, and keeping on at keeping on to find the balance.

A home doesn't just happen. It takes effort.

What kind of effort did Jesus put into making His home among us? What effort does He continue to make as He makes His home in the hearts of those who've invited Him in? He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. He stayed near to the heart of his Father, always keeping heaven in view. In so doing, He revealed/reveals His Father to us.

The only way to make a home on this earth, in whatever place God has us for however long He chooses to keep us there, is to follow this example of the Son. 

That means lots of hard work and hope, patience and persistence - for me; it also necessitates dependence on the One Who's unfailing love and faithfulness is available for me whenever I ask... and sometimes even when I forget to or choose not to.

This makes me think of the words of a song that my girls all really like right now, Home, by Philip Phillips:

Hold on to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble—it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

I don't know about you, but I find it encouraging to know that the same Jesus who made a home among us is not bound by space or time. In that sense, He is still making His home among us.

It is one of the many ways He demonstrates His love for us...

Overseas Friendly Growth Chart

I seem to be in a season of creating here.  I don't know if it's because my husband had a week off at the end of our summer camp season (yes, it's summer here in Costa Rica.  No, don't try to figure it out.  Yes, we are north of the equator, but they still call this time of year summer.)  I digress.

Ok.  So back to the Overseas Friendly DIY stuff...

So my husband has a thing for recording the boys heights on the wall.  Which works wonderfully if we were to stay in the same house from now until the baby is in college.  But, being that we are kind of global nomads, the likelihood of that happening is virtually 0.

So.  One day I realized I could make a fabric one!  What?!  We have a fabric advent calendar that is so easy to pack, and as we all know, we can always use a bit more padding in those suitcases.  And unless you are making one of these out of denim it shouldn't add too much to the overall weight. Really, denim would just be like another pair of jeans.

Ok, so here's how we did it.  I say we because I am mathematically challenged and needed my husband to help with the measuring.  I know. Lame.  Anyway.

Noah (my husband) decided we should make it 6 foot 5 inches tall.  Yes, our boys could grow that tall.  Vamos a ver.  He also decided that it doesn't need to reach the ground, just down to about 37 inches.  Yep, this means that the baby won't be measured any time soon, but that's fine too.  Do what you want.

I found a piece of cream muslin in my stash and cut it in half.  Then I found some other brown leafy fabric and sewed it with the right sides facing each other, you know like making a pillow case.  The brown fabric was wider than the muslin which is what I wanted.  I liked the idea of having the leafy pattern on the front side too.  Then I top stitch it down the side with the brown fabric.

Next, I marked the inches and half inches.  With some cream cotton yarn I had, I made the inch marks.  I didn't do that as neatly as I was hoping, but hey, this ain't rocket science.  I had a brown pen and used it to add the inches in and to mark the big boys heights from this last year.  Goodness they have grown!!

And now we can have those heights for posterity.  And it's portable!

Does your family record the kids' heights?  What other things do you do to keep memories of childhood?

Overseas Friendly DIY Chalkboard

So, let's talk a little DIY, shall we?

I have wanted a chalkboard since we left the states.  I had one in Michigan in our playroom.  The boys and I loved it and it was a sweet reminder of my years in Sunday School because it came from the church I grew up in. 

But chalkboards don't fit nicely in a duffel bag or foot locker.  The things we give up, huh?

I finally had mental energy and time to figure out how to get my hands on a chalkboard.  It only took 3 years folks.  Things just take time on the mission field. Ha!

After asking around, I finally decieded to just make one.  The results aren't too shabby!

So here's the deal.  All you need is paint, whatever color you want, and some unsanded grout.  I figured grout would be incredibly easy to find here, since there are entire rooms that are tiled.  No, I am not joking.  There are three rooms in my house alone that are covered from floor to ceiling with tile.  Anyway.

Overseas Friendly Chalkboard Paint
1/2 cup of paint  I used Dark Secret (the blackest I could get)

1 Tablespoon of unsanded grout (I used midnight black, but if you picked a different color paint, you should use something lighter...but you are all smart and knew that already!)

A smooth surface  (My husband found me some particle board type stuff that I didn't have to sand or mess with in anyway.  It's not real wood, but it was great for this purpose.)

Use something disposable to mix your paint and grout in.  And just know, as soon as you start mixing this, it will start to harden.  So don't go mixing an entire liter of paint with grout thinking you can save it for later. 

I used a small roller brush and put three coats on my 60 x 80 cm board.  The  1/2 cup paint to 1 Tbs of grout recipe was the perfect amount for that sized board.  So maybe you could go in on this project with someone because you are going to have a TON of leftover supplies.

After the board is completely dry, take a piece of chalk and cover the whole board with it.  No really.  Then wipe it down with a damp rag.  Drill a couple of holes, find some twine and you are all set!  And just so you know, this isn't like a real slate chalk board.  You will probably need to wipe it with a wet rag to actually get the writing off of it.

Kids on the Field: Laundry

Ok, my kids don't do the laundry (and it will be many a year before they can), but I am struck today as I stare at loads of it 1.  How much laundry children make 2.  How many stains they make and 3.  How I haven't truly haven't hit on a  good working "system" for our laundry yet.  So, while it's a bit of a divergence from directly talking about kids, as a friend of mine who is living in Honduras said, "Sometimes laundry just needs to be discussed!" 

So, Point Number One: The Sheer Amount of Laundry

What in the world?  I swear I try to keep on top of my kids, not letting them change 6 times a day and all that, but it's like I put the clothes in the drawers and some time in the middle of the night those nicely washes and neatly folded clothes somehow make their way into the dirty clothes baskets.  And I only have 3 kids!  Some of you rock stars with 4 and 5  and on up!  Anybody got a good solution for this clean clothes to dirty clothes migration?

Point Number Two:  Stains
Sigh.  I just folded about three loads of laundry and half of the load still had stains on it!  I think I am bad at catching them before I wash said clothing, but I also don't have a good solution for stains.  I do have the luxury of being able to buy a North American laundry detergent (saves the clothes, some) but these Boy stains...anybody got any great, easily recreated stain solution? 

And Point Number Three: A System
Now, I know that I am blessed beyond measure in that I have a washer and a dryer!!  But there still is the constant stream of laundry and the hanging things on the line like diapers and kitchen linens.  And then there is the folding and getting things to their actually locations where they are suppose to live (not just hanging out in a laundry basket at the base of the stairs.)  I have hit on the idea of each member of the family having their own laundry basket, with their name on it, so they, with help at this point, can start to put their own clothes away.  It also helps my husband know who's is who's because at this point, our two big guys wear almost the same size.  But other than that, I feel like I am still sorta fumbling around.  Anybody got a stellar laundry system?  SHARE!!

Bonus Point:  My Best Tip
I have found that during rainy season, our clothes can start to smell because it can take 4 days on the line to dry.  I discovered last year two things that help kill the smell, tea tree oil (hard to come by I know) and rubbing alcohol! (lots easier to come by!)  Put a couple of tablespoons of rubbing alcohol in your wash and it will help kill that funky smell!

So, what are your best laundry tips?  Anybody got a good solution for this clean clothes to dirty clothes migration?  Anybody got any great, easily recreated stain solution? Anybody got a stellar laundry system?  SHARE!!

Kids on the Field: Toys

Once upon a time, I talked about how we dealt with toys when it came to moving across the world.   Well, we since have moved across the world, and while we did bring a fair amount of toys with us, there have been other things we've had to improvise.  And honestly, there is something so satisfying about creating something for your family.  And it can be a mama sanity saver.

Ok, so I wanted to show you some of my favorite toys we've made since we moved here.  I am trying to pick examples of things that don't need a lot of fancy craft supplies or specially items because I know we are all living in places where these sort of things can be hard to find.  So here we go, my favorite homemade toys...

We made Quinn's (our baby) swing just a couple of weeks after we got here.  He was about 4 months old when we made it and he still loves it 10 months later.  It was really quite simple to make (I only sew straight lines!) Here's a bit more description of the swing and a link to the tutorial I used within the story.

For Christmas we made the big boys traditional rope and board swings.  And they love them as well.  These are so straight forward, a board, some holes and some rope.

And don't judge me because my kids swing over cement.  About the only trees in our yard are banana trees and those are more like an overgrown stalks and so they wouldn't be able to hold up a little boy pretending he's superman.   

Ok, so you all being super missionary moms already know not to overlook things like delapaded jeeps as a great clubhouse!  This one was in a friend's garage here in Costa Rica and it was a favorite hang out for all the missionary kids...I have to say, it is my dream car and it makes the coolest clubhouse EVER!!

We had a despidida (a going away party) for a family at our house in June and there were 15 kids 10 and under at this part.  We had to have some sort of activity otherwise we were all going to lose our minds.  So we got creative and make some great outdoor games like slingshots with paper wads and tin cans, tarp toss with rice bags and an old tarp and ring toss.  And shhhh, don't tell anyone, but I pretty much made all of it out of garbage.

Ok, so how about you?  What awesome toys have you or your kids come up with?  Are there local toys that delight or dismay you?

More Kids on the Field Series

It's a Dog's World!

Niko, the Wonder Dog

Doesn't this face discourage you from robbing my house or messing with my daughters?  Doesn't he make you tremble in your boots and think twice about whatever diabolical plan you were hatching against my family?  Yeah, I thought so!

This little guy is Niko (named for a local soft drink), and we got him about 3 years ago to be the family guard dog.  He was immediately ruined, being carried around like a baby and dressed up in cutesy clothes, sleeping on a little cushion and sneaking treats.  I feared he'd never step into his role because we'd made him too soft.

One would think that a grown dog would be humiliated by 
being carried around like a baby, but not this one!

He got a bit of age on him, though, and a funny thing happened.  He'd been treated like a member of the family and found his place in our clan, and he fell as much in love with us as we had with him.

Out of this grew a fierce protective spirit, and I dare say that now, no one would dream of passing this fella to mess with any of us.  He's quite docile with children and loves to lie on his back so young kids can torture cuddle him, but let a strange adult or another dog come around our fence, and it's another story!

We've tried several different pets here in Paraguay, including a beautiful parrot that died from the cold, a cute turtle that hobbled away and never came back, and various stray cats that I didn't approve of but didn't chase away because they were eating snakes and rats.  In the states we'd had a dog and a couple of chickens once, but somehow these animals here become part of the family more quickly and we find ourselves really attached to them.  And the fact that this big baby has a bit of an intimidation factor is just an added bonus.  :) 

I'm the practical one in our crowd, so sometimes I focus on Niko as more of a hassle--who will feed him when we're traveling?  What will we do with him on furlough?  Our older daughter is allergic to him and can't somebody bathe him again so he's less likely to set off a reaction?  What about the costs of his vaccinations and all that food?  And on and on.  But I can't deny his benefit to us, or how good it makes me feel to open the gate and his tail is wagging as he trots up to meet me with nuzzles.  (He knows better than to wrestle with me like he does the kids.) 

I've never really been an animal person--all that hair and barking and poop.  But in the months after the accident when I was pretty much confined to the bed or the wheelchair, he'd come up and sniff the area my bone was broken, lay his head just beside it, and rest there a while.  If everyone left the house, he stayed right by my feet and followed me closely in those months of learning to walk again.  I'm not sure that he didn't cause more damage than good, as much as I had to be careful not to stumble over him, but somehow it was the thought that counted.  So I've learned to love him, too.

My husband says that having the dog takes a measure of stress off him as the man in charge of keeping us gals as safe as possible.  For our daughters, Niko's the constant that's been with us through 3 moves in the last 4 years--an added comfort when so many other things change.  

Do you have pets?  What do they add to your family?   If you don't have an animal friend, what keeps you from getting one?

Help! My Man Is ALWAYS Around!

Just me and my man.  It's not been too many years since we were dating and I dreamed of spending all our days together, giggling while we worked and inspiring each other as we bounced ideas back and forth over dreamy looks and picnic lunches.  What could be better than that, right?  Um, yeah.  Twenty years later, we got that chance when we moved out of the country to conquer the world for Jesus.  And reality set in.

Since our home is the base of operations here, gone are the days of seeing him off to work with a kiss each morning, teaching the kids and running errands all day, then having his dinner ready when he returns in the evening.  Everything from mealtime to homeschooling to who goes out for groceries has changed, and everyone in the house has felt the heat from the adjustments.

Defining a new normal has been an unexpected challenge, exacerbated by the fact that there just isn't much support out there for wives like me. So when I saw this book coming out, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on it.  Even better, this one was a freebie offered to me by the publisher in exchange for my opinions.  Let's just say it was a welcome addition to my e-bookshelf.

OFFICIAL BOOK DESCRIPTION: What do you do when your husband calls and says he's lost his job? How do you handle a husband who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and is now homebound? Will your routine ever get back to normal now that your loving husband who has been deployed for 12 months is now suddenly back at home? Regardless of the reason he's home, one fact is clear . . . he's home. Dear God, He's Home! is a practical, honest look at how women can deal with a spouse--regardless of the reason--who is forced to become a stay-at-home man.  (**Note: By clicking the title, you'll be directed to Amazon, where the e-book is currently $2.99.)

MY THOUGHTS:  Making the transition from what is considered a traditional family set-up--husband working outside the home, wife considering the house her domain--can be very stressful.  Not only has the author (Janet Thompson) dealt with the situation several times in her life, but she includes the stories of many others facing this change due to health complications, retirement, unemployment, a home office, or some other development.  I found that much of it applied to our situation, even though she didn't specifically include foreign missionaries on her list.  ;)

The book is divided into 14 chapters full of examples, practical advice, scriptures, a sample prayer, and journaling prompts--yet another reminder that I could benefit from journaling.  (Note to self:  Add personal journal to the to-do list.). Focus, Christie. Focus.  Okay.

Each chapter has several smaller sections packed with wisdom, short enough to do each as a daily devotion.  The big focus in on opening up communication so that both the husband and the wife understand the expectations each has.  Several tools are provided to facilitate coming together to shape these expectations into a workable reality.

Although the book is meant to be for the wife, there are parts that can be shared with your husband, such as the sanity tools at the end, and some of the personal stories are from the man's point of view.

The only complaint I might have is that I had a bit of a hard time keeping up with all the real-life examples.  There were so many, which is good for helping the reader connect to the book and realize she's not the first person to pass through this. But I began to confuse the stories and couples as the book progressed through snippets from these stories with each section.  It's possible that reading a print version of this book would have helped with this, but I had an ebook copy and can't speak as to how the layout affects the ease of reading.

I found the book very thorough, in that it dealt with the emotional, financial, spiritual, and physical aspects of this life change. I've definitely added it to my list of recommended resources for missionary wives coming on the field, and I think that going through it together before the big transition would maximize the benefits.

Is it possible I'm not the only one who struggled a bit with this change?  What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to just before the transition? 

Special Considerations for MK Teens

Being a parent of third-culture kids—missionary kids in particular—is a challenge at any stage.  Being the mom of teen MK’s comes with its own special fun.

The changes that occur during adolescence can be quite unsettling.   You remember those days, right?  Insecurity, trying to fit in, wondering who you are, dealing with peer pressure.  Hours in front of the mirror, indecision about what you'll wear, drama in all your social circles.

These problems are exponentially increased living in a culture where your teen is obviously "not from around here," and where cultural differences can make even simple stuff seem complicated.

How can we make this time of transition a bit smoother for them?

Make home a safe haven.  Of course, this is our goal as moms, no matter the ages of our children.  But when your teen’s self-esteem is being assaulted outside the walls of your house, it’s crucial.  Although sarcasm and complaining may seem to be your child’s new love language, take the high road.  Jokes about frizzy hair and clumsiness and cracking voices are probably best left unsaid.  Don’t put up with bickering that often gets ugly between siblings.  Yeah, I know.  Easier said than done.  But kids of all ages need to be able to let their guard down around those who love them best.

Build self-esteem.  Where we live, folks have no problem pointing, staring, or calling names if someone is different.  Having two tall daughters with pale skin and blonde hair has led to more awkward public scenes than I care to remember.  So more than ever, it’s important that they feel safe talking to us about how that makes them feel, and that they feel secure in who they are.  Hopefully this is something that’s been a part of your relationship before now, but it’s time to step it up a notch.  How?

Point out how much you admire her fashion sense, or how you like the new way he’s styling his hair.  Accentuate the positive by focusing on your child’s God-given talents.  For us, that means blocking out a chunk in our home school schedule for one child to have time for drawing and painting, as well as investing in a few supplies she needs for that.  It means driving the other to music lessons each week and figuring out how to get our hands on an instrument for practicing. Those aren’t the most convenient changes to make, but the results in self-esteem and stress relief are notable.

Be a good friend.  Peer interaction usually blossoms at this stage of development, and parents find themselves less involved in everyday life.  But what if there aren’t many friends around, or safety is a factor?  Step up and take interest in their interests.  Download good music in her style, find a shared hobby, go on mini-dates for ice cream or a walk in the park.  Despite the eye-rolling you might see when first suggesting this, teens in any culture appreciate one-on-one time with Mom or Dad.  During this time, try to put yourself more on the level of a friend, rather than discuss the chore list or bringing grades up. 

And if your teen does find a good, solid friend, facilitate time together.  As a mom here, I’m much more comfortable knowing where my girls are, so we invite their friends over, making our home youth-friendly—snacks, music, movies, space to goof off.   

Keep God’s plan front and center.  We see pornography splashed across billboards and on magazine covers at every corner.  It’s the norm for public television, which is being broadcast in practically every store we enter.  The music being played at full blast in our neighborhood and around town is full of lewd lyrics.  And men of all ages are whistling, motioning, and calling out to my girls.  This isn’t the time to go silent about sticky topics.  

Find ways to converse naturally about whatever you’re facing in your particular corner of the world.  Provide examples of a life lived well—solid movies, good books, clean music, positive role models, whatever you can to combat the frequency of exposure to “the darker side”.  And remind them every chance you get that they are unique creations with a Father who designed them just right.

What challenges do your kids face?  How have you adapted your parenting methods to cope with this? 

Getting Creative

First off, THANK YOU!!  Seriously, I was in a low, low spot last time we talked and you girls did a fantastic job at pointing me back to The Truth and letting me know I am not nuts to feel all lonely and weird.  You guys rock!  And I hope some of you who were right there with me in the Pit of Despair found encouragement in the comments too.

And yes, this last week has been much better.  We were able to make some connection at a church we've been attending, we invited some acquaintances over for the day and my two big boys went to day camp for two days giving me the break of having just the baby and the puppy.  Funny how that seems like a break now.

Ok, so now on with today's thoughts.

Something I really have enjoyed about living here in Costa Rica is the challenge of creating things that most people just run to Target and buy.  Like these coasters for example.  I made these yesterday out of fabric from my stash.  Our dinning room table has issues with watermarks and we needed something to help prevent that. 

There is something very important about creating, using the skills God has given us to make our environments better, more efficient, more pleasing.   I believe it's part of what makes us Humans, created in the image of God.  After all, He is creative God.

I think we probably would agree that a cultural value in the US right now is one of consumerism.  Instead of making, people buy.  Instead of using what they have, they buy something, usually plastic, to solve a problem.  Now, hear me out, I am not saying buying things or plastic is bad, but there is another way.  One that seems to be forgotten in my home country.  Honestly, I am glad I have been forced further down this path of making and creating to keep my family clean, feed and living in lovely surroundings.

In the hopes of inspiring you to continue what you are already doing, making do and making it awesome, here's a few of my favorite projects from the last few months.
 
Here in Costa Rica, so often what you're looking for doesn't exist, or is so astronomically expensive, it is out of reach.  And I realize Costa Rica is overflowing with variety when compared to some of the place you all are living in! 

Por ejemplo, baby swings.  When we came in September, Quinn was 3 months old.  We had to leave his baby swing in the States and I knew there was no way we could afford one here (somewhere in the $250 USD range).

My babies love to swing.  Quinn is no exception.  So I got to thinking, and with the help of a friend, found a baby swing idea, found a tutorial online and made it.

And before you think I have all sorts of mad seamstress skills, I sew straight lines.  That's it.  See, both sewing projects have straight lines?  Well, the coasters have some wonky ones too, but really, those are suppose to be that way.

I don't know about where you live, but here mold can become a problem.  Most people don't have dressers for that reason.  So when it came to clothes storage in our bedroom, we had to think outside the box dresser.  Here's what we came up with.

Now yes, we have to make sure to keep our clothes neat and tidy, but really, it's been working out just fine.  And the baskets are good for all our unmentionables.  Oh, and because things like dresses and dress shirts really should be hung, here's what my husband rigged up.

 And one last one.  Quinn is at the point where mobiles are great.  Again, many baby things here are a fortune, and really, I don't like the look of most mobiles anyway.  So for Christmas, I made him this bird one.  Again, I used fabric from my stash, found the cute bird pattern online, and stuffed them with old rags.  Then I went to our back yard, found two sticks, tied them together and tied the birds on.  He loves it!  He laughs and wiggles every time he sees it. 

Ok, so now I want to see what you amazing people have done with your God given creativity!

What is one of you favorite projects you've made to solve a problem (chances are, one of us is having the same problem, so help a sista out!), to make a more lovely environment, or to help your family in some way?  Make sure to link us to a photo if you have one!   

Not Measuring Up

Sometimes it is blatantly obvious that I don't fit in here.  I clearly don't have the skin or hair of my neighbors, but neither do I have their habits.

A few days ago, we took a Skype call in the wee hours of the morning.  It wasn't the wee hour in California, where they were making the call, but here, we were pretty zonked waiting for 2 AM to roll around.  Needless to say, it was really late by the time we went to bed.

An early morning visitor at the gate seemed to come just a few minutes after I'd closed my eyes.  I'd normally ignore it, thinking it was just a door-to-door salesman, but their persistence made me think it was an emergency.

I grabbed my robe and unlocked the front door, hair all crazy, eyes puffy, all the while freaking out that I'd been "caught" sleeping in.  Women rise before the sun here, and I could already imagine the thoughts in their minds before I even opened the door.  "Lazy foreigner.  Does she just sleep all day?"

It turned out to be a couple of government agency gals sent out to poison any standing water in our community because of a dengue outbreak.  They wanted to inspect the inside of my house and our back yard.  WHAT?!?!  For real?

I almost had a panic attack at the thought of not being able to prepare before letting them inside.  Paraguayan women have a very high standard when it comes to floors. If they live in a home with a concrete or tiled floor, it WILL be mopped and shined at least once a day.  If their living area is a dirt floor or simply the yard, then they will have swept that yard so clean that no grass grows and the dirt is packed tight like concrete.

As these girls were looking around our home, taking notes on that official clipboard then tilting it slightly so I couldn't read it, I was just sure it said, "No standing water.  Adequate drainage.  Dirty floor.  Unkempt yard.  Lazy.  Sleeps too late."

Truth is, I've never had to live off the land, so I don't rise when the sun does, nor do I sleep when it goes down.  In fact, my body rebels against this heat so badly that I reserve most of my manual labor until the sun is long gone.  And homeschooling two high schoolers doesn't leave much time for daily floor scrubbing, which, considering our dog, would have to be done several times a day to keep a Paraguayan-style shine.  Nor do I have much skill in whipping up a totally-from-scratch meal several times per day.

So I can either let this drive me crazy, exhaust me from trying to "do it all," or go for option 3.  I'll take door #3, Monty. I laugh about the areas I don't measure up and let them poke fun at what they consider my laziness.  I ask for their advice on recipes and housecleaning.  I let them see my embarrassment as I humbly reveal my inadequacies.   I defer to them and choose to be teachable, so that they understand we are on level ground.

And do you know what I've found?  That these shy, closed people who see themselves as inferior to neighboring countries, who have had not-so-positive experiences with foreigners in the past, view me as a peer rather than an authority. Someone they can let in to their circle. Someone who needs help and isn't afraid to admit it.  Someone who came to teach and to learn.

They let down their guard, that protective stance that expects me to tell them that what they're doing is all wrong.  And the door opens to friendships that give access to more important things than cooking and cleaning and what time I wake up.

Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in  me.  1 Cor 12:9b

Do you ever struggle with living up to the expectations of your neighbors?  Folks "back home"?  Other missionaries?  How could God use your weaknesses for His glory?

Making a House Your Home

I remember when I first moved to England. I was intimidated. Now, I know that from the outside, living in England isn't that much different from living in the US. It didn't take very long to realise that it is indeed different. The houses are smaller and quite often very old. Most of the houses in this country have heating in each individual room, and the rooms all have doors to keep the heat in. Yeah. I think that's a bit different.


When I moved here, I had the task of making our house our home. It wasn't easy at first. My husband and I had just gotten married, so I felt like I was taking over his space. The other hurdle I faced was the cultural differences when it came to making our home.

Some friends of ours gave us the book, Dwelling: Living Fully from the Space You Call Home as a wedding gift. I found it helpful to read through the book as someone who was living cross-culturally because it gave me a new perspective on what "home" connotes.

Here are some things I've found helpful in making our house feel like home in England.


Don't change; adapt. For a long while, the cultural differences between England and the US are what held me back from really making our house a home. It's taken me awhile recognise that yes, there are cultural differences, but I don't necessarily have to follow the cultural norm in my own home. Instead, I've taken my own approach and put an American spin on the way I run my home. That way, I'm adapting to the culture and keeping some of my own American culture.

Our home is a refuge. My home is my own space... my own refuge from the rest of the world. When I've had a busy day, I look forward to coming home because I know I'll be safe there. I even have my own corner of the house where I can (sometimes) escape and be alone with the Lord. I know my husband feels comfortable in our home. I hope someday that my son will feel the same way when he comes home after a rough day.


Add a few things from the US. Don't get me wrong, I want to adapt to the English culture as much as possible. There are, however, a few things that I love to bring from the US that help our house feel more like home. Just about every time we have family come to visit, I ask them to bring me a big bag of cornmeal. I loooooove corn bread, and it makes me feel at home when I can have it with a big bowl of soup! The other things I loved bringing from the US are quilts. My mother has made us a few quilts, including ones I had from childhood. Having them in our house in England makes it feel more like home for some reason.

So those are some things that I've found helpful in making our house feel like home. What have you done to make your house feel like home?