"When out on those highways and byways..." (1)

Dear faithful missionary mom readers,

Are you all celebrating that it is June and that June means summer is here, or just around the corner... if you live in the northern hemisphere, of course? We are. It has been a long and intense year and God is opening up some amazing opportunities for our family and me personally. As a result, this is my last post in this lovely space, a place that has become an online home. I will miss being here. I'd hoped to really take time to pray... to write... to maybe summarize a bit some of the things I've learned during the time I've been writing for Missionary Moms - but earlier this week we learned that my husband's dad is on the threshold of eternity. So we are leaving tonight... and in all of the busyness of arrangements, I've not had the time I would have wished to devote to this post. Instead, I've edited an older post that I wrote for a different site a few years back... all about traveling mercies and time on the road, a common summer/holiday occurrence!

Thankful for you ~ may God continue to bless you and your ministries richly!

Richelle
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I used to find it some combination of mildly amusing and slightly annoying when I’d hear people pray for “traveling mercies,” even though at the time we were crisscrossing the state of Michigan (as well as a few adjacent states) almost every weekend seeking the financial support to head to West Africa as missionaries.

Then one wintry Sunday, we literally crept on four wheels, all night through a genuine winter blizzard only to arrive home, in the wee hours of the morning, and find a man we’d never met before sleeping in our bed (a story for another time and definitely over tea and coffee). We ended up on the rickety pull-out sofa in the basement, struggling to drag ourselves out of bed and get up and around in time for the beginning of our home church’s missions conference just a few hours later. After that fiasco, I’d occasionally catch myself silently asking God for “traveling mercies,” particularly during those unexpectedly long trips.

There was also that time late one August. We drove nonstop from Lansing, Michigan to Miami, Florida. Well… nonstop except for a few hours in a Georgia Walmart escaping massive summer heat. Our car at that time was minus air conditioning and plus three little ones in car seats! Several hours later, I actually prayed spontaneously, aloud, thanking the Lord for “traveling mercies…” and then woke my husband up. He’d fallen asleep at the final stoplight, just prior to reaching our destination.

We still hadn’t even begun the adventure of international travel. Once that started, we experienced

• long airplane rides,
• sandstorms while boarding which then delayed our flight,
• close connections,
• stacks of luggage that had to be lugged through developing world airports,
• reroutings,
• long layovers with children crashed and sleeping sprawled anywhere,
• difficult fellow passengers, difficult airline personnel,
• discovering that even though we’d reserved seats together , our reality was far different – my family scattered all over the plane, the two year old sitting by herself, and no one willing to switch seats,
• hopeless searches for something both edible and affordable to eat.

One other key detail? I’m terrified of flying – like panic attack terrified! It usually lasts from the moment I climb on the plane and fasten my seat belt until we reach cruising altitude. At that point I can almost distract myself from that feeling of imminent doom. It isn’t one of those fears that has gotten better with time or experience. I pray, quite literally starting days weeks months before, that God will grant me His “mercies as I travel” and enough relief from my terror that I can at least function.

I stopped  laughing or considering those prayers for “traveling mercies” to be trivial. 

Then we began traveling in Africa

It took me two years to get brave enough to consider driving in town, on my own. The problem wasn’t the standard transmission – that was pretty much all I’d ever driven. Rather it was driving in a place where traffic laws were merely suggestions, stop lights and stop signs were optional, and four lanes of traffic regularly squeezed onto a two lane bridge. Drivers were often inexperienced, erratic, unpredictable and impulsive. Roads were shared with pedestrians, bicyclists, motorcyclists, goats, sheep, dogs, donkeys and carts, camels piled high and wide with straw, herds of cattle, food vendors, newspaper sellers, beggars and unsupervised toddlers. That axiom, “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line,” was the rule of the road, regardless of pre-existing traffic patterns. We discovered that walking around your car wasn’t sufficient – you had to be sure to look under it too before beginning to drive – after my husband ran over the leg of a toddler sleeping unsupervised under our car one afternoon. I found out first hand that signaling a right hand turn and then proceeding to make that right turn from the right hand lane where’d I’d been all along wouldn’t inhibit motorists from trying to pass  at that moment… on the right. I’ll never forget the day another vehicle nudged a bicyclist, knocking him over right in front of the tire of my Land Cruiser, and I felt that tire slowly roll up and over something. Fortunately, it was the bike wheel and not the bicyclist.

Every. Single. Time. we left our house in a car and nothing bad happened, it became an opportunity to thank God for His “traveling mercies.”

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), vehicular accidents result in more deaths worldwide than malaria. They are the primary cause of death for those falling in the five to 29 years old age bracket. This is particularly true in the developing world. (1)

Now, less I give a wrong impression, not all of our road experiences were bad. I’ve had more flat tires than I’d care to count – I’ve never actually changed one myself. Someone would always volunteer to do it for me… and sometimes even refused a gift of money.

We’ve also seen Africans accomplish both amazing and hilarious things while operating motor vehicles:

• A mouthy Tabaski sheep wrestled into submission between motorcycle operator and passenger, all during rush hour traffic.
• Several large cattle sleeping peacefully on the roof of a minibus. The bus was cruising at 80km/hr…
• A motorcyclist transporting a full-sized mattress balanced on his head… while driving through sand deep enough to stall other vehicles.
• Young camels loaded inside Peugeot taxis.
• Guys riding on top of huge trucks packed with fire wood. Their purpose was to lift power, phone and other lines as the trucks traveled through town.

Praying for traveling mercies, pleading with God for His protection as we were out and about, became a preoccupation. But it also served to continually remind me that safety was an illusion, often out of my control… Our complete and absolute dependence was on God and God alone. Driving in the developing world also actively cultivated a spirit of thankfulness. After all, every non-eventful vehicular outing was cause to thank God for His “traveling mercies.”

I thought things might get better after returning to the States. Except now I expect drivers to behave as was typical overseas. My younger son was riding with me on one trip when he asked, “Mama, why do you get ready to honk every time we pass by a big truck?” I hadn’t even realized I’d maintained that West African habit of driving with my hand on the horn – just in case! Additionally, it probably hasn’t helped that we’ve now reached that stage of life which includes young adult and student drivers… Yikes!

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What strange, incredible or amusing things have you seen as you have traveled the roads where you live?

Share about an everyday thing you used to take for granted, but which God now uses to make you more thankful and continually aware of your dependence on Him.

(1) First line from the hymn Make Me a Blessing
Words: Ira B Wilson, Tune: Schuler
(2) SOURCE: WHO
Original post

Worth Fighting For

I've recently started something new... and NOW... I'm wondering why in the world I fought it so long.

It literally seems crazy that it has taken me so long to even give it a try, but then again, I've got eight kids and the past 20+ years have been mind-foggingly busy. I didn't think I had time to try and figure out how to fit one more thing in my schedule, especially something that required time and resulted in very little that could be considered "productive."

I've begun taking a "mini-sabbatical" day - aiming for one such day once every two weeks. During that day, I mostly don't do any of the normal daily work/chores/etc. Instead I read, sleep, try a new recipe, work on the kids' scrapbooks, watch TV or movies, write letters just for the fun of it, just write without the purpose of publishing on a blog or in a partnership building letter, read some more, participate in ministries/volunteer/community stuff that I've never tried before, etc... I'm sure you get the idea.

I say "mostly" because I still have to help pack lunches and get the kids off to school. I still have to help with homework. Dinner still needs to be prepared. Sometimes bills need to be paid on that day, or a kid needs to see the dentist. But for the most part, my husband takes the kids to school and I have an entire day to do what I want instead of trying to get done all that needs to be done, all that I think others expect of me.

I'm discovering that while it's not necessarily been a good practice for crossing things off of that ever-growing to do list, it has been good for my health - particularly emotionally and spiritually. And as I'm not getting any younger, I'm finding that the stress of not ever having any (enough remains on the bucket list) down time has a definite physical impact on my body.

On one of my recent "mini-sabbaticals," I was watching an episode from a favorite television show we'd downloaded, and there was an interesting bit of conversation-leading-to-reconciliation between a young adult daughter and her mom. 

Essentially? 

Daughter confesses that she needs to stop defining Mom based on her mother's very worst moments. Instead, Daughter recognizes that life is complicated, that they can disagree and that even in the midst of those disagreements, she can respect Mom for the pretty incredible things her mother has accomplished, as well as the values she has consistently modeled for Daughter.

Yeah...

Stop and think about that.

What if I fought defining the people in my life by their worst moments? That doesn't mean I forget those bad moments or that I continue to allow someone who's hurt me to continue to hurt me and/or others. But it does mean I choose a conscious recognition that people are far more than a two-dimensional caricature. It means acknowledging that every single person is multifaceted, a sinner in complex and broken world, and that probably most of them do not have a personal relationship with Jesus. Thus, I am judging without real knowledge if I try and use a single act or a particular exposure to define him or her. 

In John 7, Jesus gives the instruction to ""Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly." In other words, judgments - as in pronouncing judgment and passing sentence - shouldn't be made prior to a complete - or at the very least, more complete - picture.

I can't help but wonder.

How much better might my relationships (casual or intimate, business or pleasure, lifelong or "seasonal") be if simply refused to give those those momentary glimpses of someone at their worst more weight than any or all others, if I focused more on seeing God's image in that person, and the potential of what h/she could be?

Sadly, it doesn't appear to be a mindset that comes easily or naturally. 

Unlike my new "mini-sabbatical" habit - something that I fought against for a really long time but that is quickly becoming a habit almost as necessary and welcome as breathing, learning to not define people by those vivid and worst moments will be something I'll have to fight for, every day, for the rest of my life as it does not appear to be a governing tendency, desire or instinct that just characteristically flows out of my being.

Besides all that, there's another reality.

As Wayne Dyer so aptly said, "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

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Any strategies, teachings, practices you use... or that you'd recommend... to help those of us who struggle with this sort of judgmentalism fight for something different? Something better?

Words, Words... and more W.O.R.D.S!

MEDIUM

an agency by which something is accomplished, conveyed, or transferred

Communication can happen in many, many different ways.

That statement is absolutely true.

However, probably the most common "medium" by which information, feelings and ideas are communicated is, whether written or spoken, the medium of words.

A followers of the God of the Bible, we know words are significant to God, because while He often chooses to reveal His glory, power and majesty through His creation, He also has also placed an inestimable significance on the revelation of His love, grace, mercy, justice and salvation through this medium of words:

His Word as in the written Word, the Bible

The Word, as in the living Word, His Son, Jesus Christ

Praying, usually using words, we communicate our hearts to God; words allow us to commune with Him

I don't, therefore, believe it to be a stretch to say that God cares about the words we use and how we use them as we communicate with anyone and everyone around us, be it via the written, spoken or broadcast word.

And I can  back that statement up with God's very own words. Consider verses like these:

• Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4.29 NASB)
• Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips. (Ecclesiastes 10.12 NIV) 
• Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. (Colossians 4.6 NASB)
• A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Proverbs 15.4 ESV)
• Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances. (Proverbs 15.11 NASB)
• For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. (James 3.2-10 NASB)

Communicating wholesome, edifying and gracious truth is no easy feat, even if we just look at the actual words that we use. Yet it isn't just the words: in many biblical contexts, the word conversation refers not just to the actual words used, but behavior, manner and the intent with which they are communicated.

I know I mess up myriads of times each and every day - in my home with my family, at work where I minister, on line as I respond to people and share things that I deem important.

A few years back, a song hit the Christian radio airwaves and it has become a daily... or more accurately, a several times a day... prayer. These words are on the images in this post, and I usually, intentionally, think through them and pray them before I leave the house, while driving in my car to an English lesson or riding to church when teaching Sunday School, before I sit to write... I should probably pray them before I get out of bed each morning, as well as make a greater effort to do so before I catch up on (and am tempted to react to what I see) on social media. 

Prayer is powerful and I know it changes me...

...however there are also a few additional strategies that I find beneficial, ones I try to remember to use when it comes to communicating through this medium of words:

1. Respond, don't react. In other words, take my time. Give prayer an opportunity to change my reaction to a response that reflects God's voice.
2. Remember. Most are familiar with this saying (usually attributed to Epictetus), but it bears repeating - "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."
3. Research my reasons. Am I using words for me? Or because I have another's best at heart?
4. Respect. Will these words communicate gently, with integrity and be honoring to others, even if they are confrontational in nature?
5. Reverence. Will these words reflect rightly my holy, gracious God? Are they words I would want to say with Him standing right beside me?

How about you? What strategies do you use to police your own speech as you seek to communicate God's Gospel message at home and in your worlds?

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If you aren't familiar with the song and want to watch the video... or if you are and just love it like we do at my house... here you go!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Ray Tomlinson died on Saturday morning.

You may have heard of him, but I'm guessing most of you probably haven't.

Yet he is credited with an invention that has greatly impacted most, if not all, of us...

Email. 

He is credited with inventing email, back in 1971-1972. I checked several sources and they couldn't seem to agree on an "exact" date. Technically, email evolved from a very common idea, no more complicated than leaving a stick-it note on a colleague's desk. A file was sent (or placed) in a specific folder on a computer so that the user's attention would be drawn to that file the next time s/he logged in.

Much has changed about email in the intervening 45ish years... except for one particularity: Tomlinson chose the @ symbol to address emails: name-of-user@name-of-the-computer. Today, it is name-of-user@name-of-ESP. 

Cliché but true: "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

When I went away to college, personal desktop computers were the new thing. In the early 1990s, I spent a year in SE Asia on a missions trip. Mail came via the post and was hardly guaranteed or private. One birthday card had the picture neatly sliced off the front so that I could still read the message on the inside of the cover. If you really wanted to splurge, you booked an international phone call through the operator and waited...

Just a few short years later, 1995, my husband went to visit our future home in Africa. We emailed exclusively to communicate - using the address of the middle school library of the school where I was then teaching with my name in the subject line. I still have those emails somewhere in a box, printed out. One specific thing I remember about that particular season? It wasn't at all unusual to hear people refer to the Internet as a tool of the devil.

As we began raising our support to head overseas, all official correspondence was still done via the post, but that was rapidly changing, too. Within a few years and by the time we'd moved out of the States, Yahoo Messenger chatting was our informal mode of communication; emails, with the exception of our regular paper prayer letters, had become our most frequent mode of contact with anyone at the official or business level.

Our communication styles have continued to evolve. Sometimes, it is age/generation dependent: I tend to rely on blogging, Facebook and texting; our kids like Tumblr, SnapChat, Pinterest, Instagram and, of course, texting. I'm still trying to figure out Twitter - sort of. I guess I haven't bothered to spend too much time on it because to date, it hasn't been necessary. Hubby, on the other hand and even though he's tons more techie than myself, still prefers to pick up a phone. Very occasionally, I'll choose pen and paper and write an actual letter. Seems even rarer to receive one, but it is always a treat.

What I've described is probably pretty comparable to what anyone my age has lived - missionary/expat or not. Of course, living on the back side of the desert sometimes meant that electricity and internet service couldn't coordinate well enough to both be working at the same time... but those were, generally, short seasons. Our prayer letters are sent via MailChimp - although we do still send a hard copy quarterly for the 200ish folks that still remain on that list. That number is down from 600ish when we first started this journey.

I can honestly say that most of these new technologies, I've embraced - moving right along with the crowd... except for the one that has now become, probably, my primary mode of communication: Facebook. I finally "caved" when my son was rapidly approaching the magical age of 13 and would be able to set up his own account. I wanted to know what he was getting in to...

I wonder how we'll be passing information back and forth just a few years down the road. 

Don't you?

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How have your communication styles evolved?

Do you look forward to these changes, whatever the next one will be... or do you dread them?

How do you typically communicate with family? Friends? Local colleagues? Ministry partners back in your home country or otherwise physically far away?

You can't really see it, but just before I snapped this picture, she was doing something on her smart phone... in a just shy of blizzardish snow storm... while walking her dog and taking the baby for a stroll.

first photo credit: Moving! via photopin (license)

It's a Fine Art...

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. 

The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.

Alexander Graham Bell is credited with having said those words. Born on March 3, 1847, in Edinburgh, Scotland, both his mother and eventually his wife, were deaf. As a result, much of his life was spent researching hearing and speech.

This research then progressed into experimentation with hearing devices and sound transmission. One culmination of these efforts, the one for which Mr. Bell is well-known, is the telephone. 

from Wikipedia public domain images

His initial efforts focused on work to ameliorate the telegraph. A thorough understanding of the nature of sound (from his work with the deaf) plus an aptitude for music gave him the idea that perhaps multiple messages could be sent simultaneously over the same telegraph line, and then, he began to wonder how sound could be converted to electrical impulses. 

On March 10, 1876, the first successful telephone transmission occurred.  Using a liquid transmitter, Bell spoke into a mouthpiece, "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." In another room, Watson heard each word distinctly through a receiver. The impracticality of a liquid transmitter eventually led to the development of one constructed using electromagnets.

Some consider Bell to have been a brilliant communicator.

His invention certainly changed the world as it was then known, connecting people, enabling real time communication even when long distances separated, encouraged growth of businesses and, in general facilitated communication.

Communication...

It is, in some ways, a loaded word. Very broadly and simply, communication is nothing more than the transfer of information from one place to another. Where it gets tricky is the when, the why, the where, the who and the how it gets done. And while the possibilities probably aren't infinite, they are numerous with lots of "connections" where information can disappear, be deformed or destroyed, delayed, devalued or, thankfully, properly distributed. 

As missionaries, we are concerned about communication: 

• with family near and far, 
• with our local partners as well as those supporting us back in our sending organizations, 
• with friends, 
• with colleagues, 
• with neighbors, 
• with government officials, 
• with businesses...

We communicate verbally and non-verbally, orally and in writing... even our sometimes lack of communication communicates. There are times when the intent of the message we wish to share is not perceived or received and people end up hurt, or angry, or worse.

Our communication needs to be genuine and authentic, kind, truthful and intentional... not just the words that come out of our mouths and the words that we write, but the expressions on our face, our body language and the choices we make. Our communication, in every way and in every aspect, needs to reflect the One we say we strive to reflect.

Consider these words:

"Night after night [the heavens] communicate knowledge..." (Ps 19.2, HCSB)

"'Because I am the LORD, I'll speak and the message that I communicate will be accomplished without delay. While you continue to be a rebellious house, I'll speak the message and then fulfill it,' declares the Lord GOD." (Ez 12.25, ISV)

"But let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things." (Gal 6.6, ASV)

Charge those that are rich in this world, that they not be high minded, not placing their hope in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy; but charge them to do good, that they be rich in good works, liberal to distribute, willing to communicate, laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the future, that they may lay hold on eternal life. (1 Tim 6.17-19, JB2000)

But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. (Heb 13.16, ASV)

I've always happily considered "doing good" a sacrifice that God finds pleasing. I've never, ever considered communicating to be one as well.

In honor of the anniversary Alexander Graham Bell's birthday as well as the anniversary of the first successful phone transmission - both of which occurred in March - this month's focus here at Missionary Mom's Companion will be communication! I, for one, am looking forward to hear what others have to say!

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As we share our thoughts on this topic, we'd love if you'd communicate back with us!

 Comment and let us know what you are thinking or your response to what has been shared! 

Is Heaven our Only Beloved Home?

One of my heroes, Billy Graham, is known for saying "My home is in heaven. I'm just traveling through this world." True, when we only consider the overwhelming enormity of eternity. 

However, missionaries - or any expat worker - should understand the fact that sometimes it is hard to choose to love... learn to love... or persevere in loving... that place and those people to which God has called us. In fact, just a few days ago, Ashley posted about this. This is especially true if we only consider the place a transient place, a place we can leave if it gets too hard or too uncomfortable or, in our opinion, too purposeless.

Easy to do, when our lives are full of transition... after transition... after transition... 

It would be nice if our ministries were always filled with warm fuzzies, deepening love, a good dose of nostalgia and always forward looking and measurable forward progress. If there was never any nastiness, violent and angry words, depressing divisions and certainly never any of the infamous instances of taking two steps forward only to slide back three. 

But they aren't.

Never say never... always avoid always... 

At least that's my strategy. It helps keep me a little more honest.

Focusing so much on heaven can distract from the here and now... resulting in aimlessness and to becoming of "no earthly good." Riveting eyes and efforts on the here and now only can overwhelm any hope of heaven to come and floundering and purposeless.

Reading through John 1 today, in the New Living Translation - not my normal version of the Bible, I stopped to meditate on verse 14: "So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son."

Normally, I've heard that verse rendered: "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." But today reading "made His home" started me thinking.

We define a home as the physical residence or shelter of a person or household... But more profoundly, home is (according to dictionary.com) also the place where affections are centered, a place of retreat or refuge. Frankly, a home must be made - whether by the person him/herself... or for him/her by others. It requires effort. Once you move in to the actual physical residence, more work is necessary. Stuff has to be put into its place, pictures on the wall, curtains in the windows, bedrooms assigned, towels folded, pantry filled. 

Then comes the work of figuring out routines and quirks to fit the new home. Where's actually the best place to put that kitchen table so that everyone can fit and move around the table? You try something and it doesn't work so you tweek it... or try something totally different. What's the best schedule to fit everyone through the shower when there are several of you sharing limited space. Sometimes there are arguments and disagreements about how something should work out. Living with other people calls for both dependence and independence, and keeping on at keeping on to find the balance.

A home doesn't just happen. It takes effort.

What kind of effort did Jesus put into making His home among us? What effort does He continue to make as He makes His home in the hearts of those who've invited Him in? He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. He stayed near to the heart of his Father, always keeping heaven in view. In so doing, He revealed/reveals His Father to us.

The only way to make a home on this earth, in whatever place God has us for however long He chooses to keep us there, is to follow this example of the Son. 

That means lots of hard work and hope, patience and persistence - for me; it also necessitates dependence on the One Who's unfailing love and faithfulness is available for me whenever I ask... and sometimes even when I forget to or choose not to.

This makes me think of the words of a song that my girls all really like right now, Home, by Philip Phillips:

Hold on to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble—it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

I don't know about you, but I find it encouraging to know that the same Jesus who made a home among us is not bound by space or time. In that sense, He is still making His home among us.

It is one of the many ways He demonstrates His love for us...

When You're Marked by Love

Today is my husband's birthday - the twenty-second one we've celebrated as a couple... and he's out of the country - a missionary on a missions trip to yet a different distant place with one of our girlies. He's far from perfect, but he's committed to his God, to me, our children, our family, friends literally scattered across the globe and to our community - and I'm so glad he's mine. But... if I wrote a sappy piece about love... it might embarrass him... 

So, in keeping with this theme of love for the month of February, I'd like to consider a slightly different perspective as it has been pinging and ponging around in my soul of recent.

While their daddy's been gone, I've been trying to do some special things with our other children, including listening to books on CD (Anne of Green Gables) and revisiting a favorite television series (Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman). We've all been loving it - I mean, who doesn't find "Anne with an e," at the very least, amusing and at least a little endearing. And, as far as family TV that provokes great discussion from curious little and not so little minds, Dr. Quinn is, perhaps, my favorite. 

“There's such a lot of different Annes in me. 

I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. 

If I was just the one Anne 

it would be ever so much more comfortable,

but then it wouldn't be half so interesting.” 

~Anne in LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables

I love this Anne quote because of its deeply profound veracity. Anne acknowledges the beauty that is her: 

• she is not just intelligent... but insidiously impetuous
• she is not only imaginative... but also quixotic and impractical
• despite the fact that she could be incredibly irritating... the next moment, she'd be fabulously entertaining
• stubborn yet teachable and once "taught," she forgives wholeheartedly
• unpredictably predictable
• romantic yet extremely practical
• vainly egocentric while still open to perceive the beauty, not just in the natural world but in others all around her

Anne couldn't be summed up by a single word.

In fact, people defined by a single aspect become nothing more than caricatures. 

Often comic, sometimes repulsive, usually stereotypical - a caricaturized version of someone is never flattering, even if the highlighted aspect is typically one we'd consider positive, simply because it leaves the person looking one dimensional.

As we discuss the different episodes in the Dr.Quinn series, my children are noticing this truth. A character that is heroic and awesome in one episode is surprisingly unlikable in the next - even the title character. It is pretty funny (unexpected, ironic and SO. VERY, REAL) when Hank, the owner of the saloon, suddenly demonstrates a generous spirit  in contrast to Dr. Mike's pettiness and unforgiving spirit. But that's because every single being on thus earth is created in the image of God - and will sometimes reflect that breathtaking image. At the same time, every single person is also born with a sinful nature - and will, sadly more often than not, demonstrate that nature.

Just as Anne recognizes this multiplicity within herself... we must do the same, if we want to genuinely love people. Not only that, we must also recognize... and appreciate... its presence in those all around us. People are intricately complex, so loving them is messy. 

Consider the following statement, offered not as a justification, but merely an observation: Some awful, atrocious sins are rooted in good impulses and beautiful ideas, but unrestrained (i.e. racism often grows out of a good desire to protect and care for "my own").

My challenge, and the one I've offered to my children, is to seek things to love in every person you meet. Don't allow yourself to caricaturize the souls God has placed in your community by only seeing those first few characteristics or dimensions that rise to the surface. Because love - the kind of love Jesus offers - looks deep and is willing to take a risk on what could be. I want Jesus to offer that same love to others through me.

Living within the confines of an expat (or smaller for whatever reason) community, this kind of love binds and strengthens members while attracting and welcoming newcomers. After all, it is a key mark of Jesus: "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)

As I've gotten older and braver, especially when it comes to loving those I don't find myself drawn to on first... second... or even forty-third impressions... I find myself agreeing more and more with that "Anne-girl" when she wonderingly remarks:

“Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. 

It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” 

~Anne in LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables

Have you come to take away our souls?

Have you ever prayed to the Lord and asked Him to show you something… anything… beyond any shadow of any doubt... just so you can be sure?

I have... I still do... some times, some days...

My husband and I have often discussed this. He rarely doubts God, rarely questions if He is true, if He is good, if Jesus is Who He says He is and really did come and do what the Scriptures say He did. I, on the other hand, struggle with doubt more often than I care to admit.

In John 10.24, Jesus spoke to a group gathered around Him, Jews who had come to the temple for the Festival of Dedication. Today more commonly called Hanukkah, or the Festival of Lights, was not one of the original commemoration ceremonies instituted by God. Rather, it was/is a remembrance – according to rabbinic tradition – of a very specific provision by God. At the same time, it recalls what could seem to some an “inconsequential in the grand scheme of things” miracle. Historically this miracle took place in the time between the Old and New Testaments: Seleucid king Antiochus Ephiphanes desecrated the Jewish temple, forcing the Jews to abandon God’s prescribed system of worship and sacrifices. God's chosen people were obliged to adopt pagan rituals until the Maccabees (a group of Jewish freedom fighters) refused, rose up and overthrew the Seleucids. Once the Jews had regained access to the temple, they found a single, small, sealed jug of olive oil that had not been profaned and was, thus, acceptable for use in worship. They used this oil to light the temple menorah, expecting the oil to suffice for only a single day; miraculously, it endured for eight - the amount of time needed for more oil to be made ready. Thus, the Jews gathered around Jesus were in Jerusalem celebrating and remembering miraculous provision.

Not only that, but they had gathered in a location where God had traditionally accomplished great things (Matthew Henry), Solomon's Colonnade. 

At such a place, for such a purpose, at such a time, the Jews listened… and then confronted... Jesus. Standing in the presence of the most miraculous of all provisions, the Messiah of the World, in a place where the evidence of God’s hand had been so clearly present, the Jews asked Jesus a rather blunt question.

Most commentators suppose that the primary goal of this question was to waylay Him.

Look at some of the different renditions/translations of their question:

• “…and said unto him, how long dost thou make us doubt?” (Gill)
• “how long dost thou take away our soul?” as per the Vulgate Latin, Syriac, Persic, and Ethiopic versions 
• “wherefore dost thou steal away our minds with words?” (Nonnus)

The Jews charge Christ with taking away their souls, or stealing away their hearts by hiding Himself from them. Strong words.

I find I can often easily identify with the Jews in this passage. Some days, I start with worship - thinking about God. But then my thoughts migrate. I start trying to figure Him out, trying to make Him make sense-according-to-me. Overwhelmed by the enormity and awesomeness and power of the God I want to believe in, I look for answers that make sense… and then I start coming up with reasonings to try and make all of the puzzle pieces fit together. Eventually, I start doubting and asking questions like:

• What if man really has made all of this up out of desperation for something beyond this life?
• What if there really isn't a God? I think I've seen evidence of Him, but what if I'm only seeing what I want to see?
•  What if Jesus wasn't anything more than a good man but deluded teacher?
•  What if the Bible isn't inspired and is nothing more than a creative, enticing fabrication created by those who wanted for themselves and others a real purpose in life?
• What if this life is all there is and then there is nothing?
• What if I'm hoping for heaven and eternity... and there isn't?

The problem with asking these questions is: How do I EVER really answer them.

And even if I did have clear, unquestionable answers, wouldn’t that negate the idea that humankind is made up of moral agents with free will to choose what we believe? Wouldn’t that call into question the very premise that we are, in any way, different from the rest of creation?

There really aren't any answers other than to confess, once again, my sin of unbelief - to cry out in desperation, "Lord, I believe! Help Thou my unbelief!"

All of the Sunday School analogies I've learned through nearly 50 years of life all fall short. How can a finite mind comprehend an infinite God? The obvious answer is that man can't. I can't.

And that's what faith is all about. Faith is believing that a miraculous synergism between God's empowering grace to believe and man's choice to trust in that belief occurs, regardless of how things look or how well it all makes sense... 

Repeatedly, I must choose to leap and trust that God will be there to catch me - even on the doubting days when I can't see or feel Him. I must live every day as though He were walking next to me, even when I don't really feel like He is there. I must choose be okay with knowing that the moment I'll know for sure will be that moment when I take my final breath on this earth.

"Tell us, tell me, plainly... Have you come to take away our souls?"

The answer to that question is that Jesus came to deliver life back to my soul, your soul, every single one's soul...

 Just as those today who fear making that leap of faith and trusting Jesus... just as those who fear that a life spent following Jesus is only a life wasted because this life is all they have... these Jews accused Jesus of stealing from them the very gift He offered and longed for them to take. Jesus' response to this question was that He'd already plainly told them. He was not the thief, coming to seek and destroy - go back and read the first part of John 10, in case you've forgotten what He'd just taught.

As I begin yet another new year, I am, once again, also trusting that God will use this continual tension in my life… in my faith walk… to encourage and minister to a few others somewhere along the way. Who knows? Maybe that will be the very answer to my "Lord, I believe! Help Thou my unbelief!" prayer.

Were there some in that crowd of Jews that day who then believed?

How about you, today? What do you believe about Jesus?

How can you encourage someone around you keep on making that leap of faith toward the Christ, regardless…?