Meet Ashley

Hello friends! Like I said in my little intro tagged onto Richelle's post, one of my very favorite things to do is to sit down to have conversations with dear friends over good coffee. It seems like I'm in good company since a number of the other ladies have said the same thing! Wouldn't we all have a great time if we could meet together in one place over coffee or tea? Heaven is going to be wonderful for things just like that!

My name is Ashley, and I've been living in Russia for the past 7 years. And though for our first 3 years we lived in Krasnodar, which is near the Black Sea and actually quite warm for most of the year, we now live in St. Petersburg where we have snow for about five months of the year. It gets really cold!! The snow has finally melted now, although the view out of my hospital window when our spring baby was born in early April was a complete blanket of white! The spiritual climate here feels much like the weather. Cold. We seek to love people and share the gospel often and pray for the Lord to move in people's hearts, but it is a slow process that can at times be discouraging. We praise the Lord for the fruit that He brings forth as His love melts through hearts, and we continually ask Him to thaw out this country that has turned cold to Him.

Richelle asked about my 10-year old vision of my future that I had mentioned. It was rather "unique," shall we say. When I was ten, I dreamed of being a ballerina living in Manhattan... on a farm. (I had obviously never been to Manhattan!). I also envisioned myself wearing a black wide-brimmed hat like Audrey Hepburn, sunglasses, and a leopard print dress, walking on my way to my ballet classes with my pet miniature pot-bellied pig on a leash! I don't know that I have actually praised the Lord that I didn't end up where I had planned at that time, but perhaps I should!

The next question was how I ended up in Russia.  I had
served or one year in China and had very much expected to return there long-term. But, when I returned to finish school, I met a similarly missions-minded man who felt specifically called to Russia, and we fell in love and got married!  His calling to Russia was very much in line with what God had put on my heart. I desired to serve in a place where people would not be able to easily hear the gospel even if they were actively searching for truth. That is very true of the situation in Russia, as the orthodox churches here rarely preach the gospel and have a very works and traditions based idea of salvation.

Richelle also asked: What's your favorite thing about being an expat mama? What the most challenging thing? I answered this past week's Tuesday Topic, which was similar, so here are another two.

One favorite thing is the amazing community of believers that I am blessed to serve alongside of. I love that I get to share life closely with some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ and love how we get to not only share ministry together, but also get to serve one another in times of need, pray for each other, share holidays and celebrations together, and get to enjoy caring for one another on a deeper level than I have experienced many other places in my life.

One of the greatest challenges that I am keenly aware of right now is the pain felt when members of my community leave for one reason or another or when we have to uproot from our beloved community of believers (whether foreigners move back to home countries, Russian friends relocate to other cities, or we ourselves move). I know that all of you can relate so easily to this heartache. Some of our very dearest friends who have been our neighbors and like very close family to us for the past seven years just moved back to the US a little over a week ago. It was such a painful goodbye and the void left will be deeply felt for years to come as we have shared so much of our lives together for so long.  "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21 

Olive asked: What are 1-3 things you do to stay sane as a missionary mom through the adjustment of your fourth baby?

That's a great question, Olive! Sometimes I don't have the answer! Ha ha! No, though this hasn't been the easiest of our adjustments when welcoming a new little one, God has helped me to find some moments of peace and means of sanity. Probably the first is just praying and getting time in the word. It is far from un-interrupted or lengthy, but I have really needed to be immersed in truth and praying for peace and strength in order to stay sane. Another thing that has helped me is to not worry about what my baby "should" be doing. I know he "should" sleep this amount at each nap (which he refuses to do), and he "should" only sleep in his bed, and he "should" be going to bed a such-and-such a time, but with our schedule and 3 other kids, all of the "shoulds" are just too impossible to abide by. I've decided to not worry about what the books say and to just do what works for us. When I do that, our life is much more sane and baby and I are both much happier. I can feel the stress rising though when I start to become concerned about the "shoulds" that I just can't do.

We're going to take a little break from the "Meet the Missionary Moms" series for a bit, so instead of introducing our next mom friend, I wanted to ask how we can be praying for one another. Please share a prayer request or two in the comments, and let's bless one another in prayer!

I'm a Work in Progress

 

I recently led a Bible Study on the Proverbs 31 woman.  I have done several studies on this lady, I don't feel I will ever measure up, but didn't think there was much else I could learn about her that I haven't already learned.

 

That's where I was completely wrong.

 

I began praying that God would work in my heart, that He would mold me into the woman He would have me to be. 

I thought I was ok.

I thought my marriage was ok.
I thought my relationship with my kids was ok.

It was ok, but it wasn't what God wanted.  He wanted more.  More of me.

 

Little things started happening.  I was getting frustrated.  Blaming Satan for trying to mess with my head before my Bible Study.  My kids would be running around like crazy just minutes before I was to leave.  For example, last week my floors had just been cleaned, I was finishing up my lesson for the evening, when my daughter came into my room and said my son  dropped a watermelon.  He was rolling the watermelon on my counter and it rolled off and splattered all over the floor.  Watermelon, watermelon juice, watermelon seeds...everywhere.  Did I mentioned the floors had just been cleaned?  Poor Cody, he kept saying, "I'm sorry, mom.  I'm really, really sorry, mom."  Me?  I broke down in tears.  I told him to sit and not move while I cleaned it up.  As I finished cleaning up the watermelon mess, he spilled a cup of orange juice all over the table, and yes, all over the floor.  Poor kid.  I didn't handle the situation like I should have. 

 

My tears were unnecessary.  My words were harsh.

I cleaned up the orange juice, sent the kids to their room and I went to mine.  I cried.  "God, I'm supposed to lead about study about being a godly wife and mother, and here I am in my room crying over a watermelon.  What is wrong with me?  Why is Satan attacking me like this?"

This is when I heard God speak.  Not in an audible voice, but in my heart.  He reminded me that I had been praying for Him to mold me into a more godly woman.  And He is gently showing me areas in my life that I need to work on (ie how I respond to watermelon all over my floor). 

Once He started showing me things that needed to change in my comfortable life, I complained and blamed Satan.  He {Satan} gets too much credit sometimes.

I was comfortable being an ok mom, being an ok wife, being an ok friend.  But I asked God to mold me into His image, to help me to be a woman that pleased Him.  When He showed me what I needed to work on, I stiffened up a bit.  "But God," I said, "look at everything I do, isn't that good enough?"

No, it's not.

He wants more of me.  He wants my all.  And honestly, I wasn't giving it my all.  I settled into a comfortable routine and stuck with it.  I got lazy.  My husband deserves more of me.  My kids deserve more of me.  My God...He deserves ALL of me.

So, God, here is my life.  I'm ready to take it to the next level. To step out of my comfort zone.  To kick it up a notch.

To be like Christ, to be Christlike...this ought to be our goal as Christians. It's my goal.

Make me, mold me, fill me, use me. 

Help me to never settle for the mundane life.  I always want to press toward the prize, forgetting the things which are behind me (tears over a watermelon), and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

 

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended:

but this one thing I do,

forgetting those things which are behind,

and reaching forth unto those things which are before.

I press toward the mark for the prize

of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14

 

By the way, after my time alone with the Lord that day.  I called my son into my room and apologized to Him for being upset.  I asked Him to forgive me, and He graciously did.  Oh, to have the forgiving spirit of a little one.  His mommy is far from perfect, but she won't settle for living the mundane life.  

I understand I don't often show my heart like this, but God has been working and I felt I ought to share.  Hope it's an encouragement.  Don't always blame Satan, God is far more powerful, and He love you very much.

 

How about you? 

Are you living a comfortable life? 

Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone

and give the Lord more? 

Give Him your all?

 

 

 

Tuesday Topic: Favorites and unfavorites

I'm getting low on questions. Please really do write to me, if you have anything you want to discuss!

From a reader: What is your favorite aspect of missionary life? What for you is the hardest aspect of missionary life?

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

pancakes... WITH butter...

It was one of those things I gave up when we first came to Niger.  

Not the fresh-off-the-griddle-hot stack of fluffy pancakes.

Not the drizzled syrup.

(Sometimes, we even have friends walking off tarmacs bearing gifts of real maple...)

But the butter...

There were lots of reasons. Butter was... even more so now... expensive back then, and?

Not always available. 

So I just stopped eating it and then never started using butter on my pancakes again, even when we were back home in the States.

At least not until just recently. 

I'd forgotten just how delightful syrupy AND buttery pancakes could be.

So what does this have to do with anything? 

Three weeks until my family boards a plane that will take us away from Niger for at least the next year... maybe longer. My oldest graduates from high school - and knows he may never be back. And really, no one knows what the next day may hold, so that reality could be true for all of us.

We've done (or are in the midst of doing) the giving away, the selling, the distributing, the packing, the planning, the ticket buying, the scheduling... all of the preparing to be ready to leave. The freezer and pantry are mostly empty; we really are down to not much more than those things we'll take with us in our suitcases. There are a few books to return to the library, and two community garage sales to sell the remaining small stuff. Our three cats need homes, but even the rest of animal menagerie is spoken for. 

All that lingers is winding things up, purchasing a sufficient supply of malaria medications just in case, and remembering to "slather our remaining stack of days with butter." 

Sometimes missionaries play the martyr. After all, living in a place like this place should earn some brownie points, right? I can easily choose to focus on the dirt and poverty all around, all of the unavailable impossibles here, the myriad of possibilities back home laid aside and left behind, every one a carefully counted and mind-recorded sacrifice made. But often times, these thoughts about the cost of following Jesus evolve into habit and are no longer passionate, intentional, and worthy choices. Rather, they are just like the unbuttered pancakes that flipped into my life as the new normal.

Sacrifice is real. It is hard. But it is also true for anyone... no, for EVERYONE... who follows the Lord whenever and wherever that or they may be. Jesus warns those who follow Him to count the cost. International faith workers, however, often  relish in letting everyone know just how significant of a price they've paid... that they've spent the last however many years sacrificing, stacking and eating pancakes minus the butter all for the sake of Jesus, obedience and a worthy cause. They somehow get this idea that adding the voluntary doing without makes their sacrifice and service more worthy and impressive 

In that sacrificial mindset, in the throes of burnout and ministry fatigue and heat exhaustion and everyday-life-in-developing-country frustrations, God has been reminding me to go ahead and enjoy some moderate binge-ing as well as the luxuries that come with life in Niger. They DO exist! After all, we are making memories and stowing treasures that may have to last us and those who will miss us - for awhile.

So you can bet that for the next 20 or so days, I'm not only going to enjoy butter on my pancakes, but also:

• munch on fried bean cakes with my friend at her restaurant on the side of the street, 
• sip tea sitting on the terrace with visitors, 
• devour doughnuts with the dorm one more time,
• wave at and greet the gendarme manning the security checks,
• relish the local peanut butter that my sweet friend makes and sells - and which will hopefully soon be featured at a local boutique,
• chatter with the veggie man as I buy fruit and veggies and still find it amazing that I'm speaking a language other than English or even French... all of the time,
• ask the parking attendant how his twin boys are doing,
• go out to breakfast, order an omelet only to have the waiter inform me that the restaurant is out of eggs... then laugh and decide that a pain au chocolate will suffice instead,
• buy baguettes right off the street,
• deliver clothes and toys to some friends who don't have much,
• invite playmates from many nations over to hang with the kids,
• brave the heat of the kitchen and spend time cooking and sharing recipes with my friend and house helper,
• eat street meat,
• let bedtimes slide,
• snuggle with the cats,
• and the dogs,
• watch the sun set over the river every night, if I can,
• visit one more school where servant hearts teaching in seemingly impossible situations still try and meet the needs of a child with disabilities simply because that is what Jesus would do,
• stand outside in a dust storm... if we get another one and then run inside to listen to the pounding rain on a tin roof,
• sit at the side of the pool and visit with friends while the kids splash and play,
• listen to water rushing over the barage when the electricity goes out,
• sing my favorite hymns and worship songs to drum accompaniment and an African tempo,
• laugh aloud and enthusiastically join in as the whole church sings and does the motions to a Sunday School song,
• listen to the everyday music of an African tribal tongue... and my Zarma friends keep on keeping on, patiently helping me to communicate with them in their heart language......

Sometimes it is easy in the busyness and the hardness of life as an expat to flounder in the frustrations instead of basking in the beautiful - of which there is much if we only open our eyes to see and drop the martyr habit.

As we prepare to leave, we don't want to whitewash the hard, but we do want to celebrate and treasure the gift we've had to be a part of life in this amazing place. 

For, make no doubt about it - it is a gift.

Knowing the hard, we'd still overwhelmingly choose it again... and again... and again.

All of the prep up to this time has been to hopefully 

give us the luxury of time to finish well... 

Saying good bye... or even just an extended see you later... 

to places and people will hurt.

But it can also be done well and that helps the hurt to be worth it.

That's our prayer.

*****************************************

Other posts in this series of preparing to leave the field:

In which I'm charged by a hippo...

Jumping the Gun? Or Procrastination?

Turning over that TCK leaf

Three months AND three days AND counting...

Going Fishing...
An "infamous" word - at least for me
Conquering nightmares with dreams
The Hounds of Hoarding

You just can't do everything!

Since welcoming our 4th bundle of joy into the world nearly 2 months ago, I've been keenly aware of the sometimes uncomfortable fact that I just can't do everything. Sometimes I feel like I can hardly accomplish anything! I know a lot of us often feel undue pressure when we read too many Pintrest-perfect blogs or just from our own self-imposed standards, so I wanted to do a little blog therapy here for all of you who might feel like things aren't always as together as you might like. Today's post is a tour of my home one particular day about a month back where there were messes literally as far as the eye could see.

First, I had 4 simple goals this particular day:

1) Make sure nobody in my family was naked
2) Make sure nobody in my family was starving
3) Take a shower
4) Take the kids to have fun outside (This was my biggest goal since I felt that my "big kids" needed to have some fun with mom who had been so preoccupied lately. It was a big deal in and of itself requiring goals like getting out of my pajamas, wrangling everyone out the door, putting on shoes....like I said, a big deal!)

I did mostly succeed in meeting these goals (minus one 50% failure of goal #1 as seen in the first picture below... I have no idea why my 2 year old wasn't wearing pants.).... and though I met my goals, from the looks of the pictures, you might surmise that "cleaning house" didn't make it near my priority list for the day. I came inside from taking the kids out to play (woohoo for meeting goal #4!) and was so shocked by what I saw that I had to photo document it, knowing that it would be much better to laugh than to cry.

You will see what happens with 6 people in a 2 bedroom apartment, 4 of whom are 7 and under and had been left pretty much to their own devices to make their own (messy) fun for far too long, 1 of whom was crying incessantly and thwarting any meager attempt at tidiness, another who actually needed to work and was out of paternity (clean-up crazy messes) leave, and yet another who had no time to put away groceries or laundry, or make the bed, or do the dishes, or...

Enjoy the tour of my home (which actually looks BETTER in the pictures than it did in reality)! Believe it or not, I did survive this day, as did the rest of my family and even my home, and nobody seems worse at all for the wear. Perhaps today's tour will make you feel like you are living in a pristine paradise or help you feel more ok about the things that couldn't quite make your list of priorities today. We just can't do it all sometimes, and that's ok!

 

 

 

 

 How about you? Are you feeling like there are more tasks to be done than hours in your day? What's your best therapy when you just can't do it all?

Meet Richelle

Hey y'all!

Yep... I've got a bit of a southern accent that gets a lot thicker when I talk to family and southern friends back home. I've really been looking forward to this chance to visit with you just a bit... wish we could do so in person, sipping honey sweetened sun tea - because it is definitely not the hot drink time of year here in Niger. And - we'd probably be sitting out under the tree in the front yard because we've been having lots of power outage lately - then we'd be able to take advantage of the breeze blowing up from the river.

Our most recent family pic - taken at Christmas.

The first thing most people notice about our family is that we're fairly numerous. I have, in fact, had local police stop my car to ask me if they all really did belong to me. Big families are the norm here in Niger - many men have more than one wife and the average number of live births per female is seven. So here, the only thing that is exceptional about us is that we are a white, expat family that fits that Nigerien demographic... well, except that I'm the only wife (and hubby says half the time he doesn't know what to do with the one he's got, so he's not the least bit interested in any more!). I love the fact that our family size usually gives us an automatic open door, with the people of this country as well as just about anywhere else we've traveled in Africa. If we were willing to arrange marriages for our girls with some of the local families, we could probably retire in style in just a few years! Seriously? We have had several offers...

People tend to make comments about what great parents we are... or how they could never handle having so many kids... or assume that I'm full of great parenting tricks and have all sorts of organizational or make-them-behave formulas figured out. Let me set the record straight. We aren't and we don't. We do the best we can, just like everyone else... and we grew into this space and place, one kid at a time. In reality, sometimes I feel like my kids are the hammers and my husband is the anvil God uses to shape me and change me... and I just needed a bit more pounding than your average person. 

What are my best tips for living internationally with kids? I'm sure I've got them, but not a whole lot is coming to mind right away other than staying flexible and rolling with the punches. And I'm preaching those words to myself as I type them. We're due to get on a plane and fly home in three weeks... and baby girl was majorly exposed to chickenpox this week. So we do our best, we hope and pray for the best (i.e. no pox - 'cause it is really, really awful timing), but also understand that it isn't the end of the world if I'm in quarantine and we have to change plans. 

Another thing I try to do is to follow my kids' leads when it comes to new situations, particularly cultural ones, particularly the older they get. One of the advantages of living in a large family is that my kids are pretty flexible and relaxed about almost anything. Our willingness to follow their lead has had a pretty cool payoff. They return the favor when it counts because they trust us. I also spend lots of time listening - when I drive carpool, when their friends are over, when we shove the furniture out of the way, blast the music and dance late into the night, when they just want to talk, or even when they want to read something they've found that they want to share. I try to say yes at least twice as often as I say no... within reason, of course.

An average day contains many household tasks - cooking, cleaning, laundry, sweeping the desert back out of the house and for the past several months, packing. I wish I had an immaculate house, but I don't... and sometimes you'll hear me griping that I'm the only one who even tries. That is the occasional truth, but not most days. I home school my preschooler and my 7th grader. I drive carpool. This year I make grocery lists and my husband braves the barrels and police checks to hunt down the items on said list. I teach 7th grade math and work in the Center for Academic Progress at the local English language international expat school. I sometimes consult with local schools trying to service the needs of exceptional children (i.e. children with disabilities) in their overcrowded classrooms with so few resources. I write accommodation plans and individualized education plans. I blog. I flit through Facebook several times a day. Lately, I've been trying to watch episodes of Burn Notice just to take a break. In the past, I've been very involved with women's bible studies, discipleship and literacy work in our church... but decided to phase myself out of that ministry this year, for several reasons.

People often ask me how I do it all. I guess I'm a natural multi-tasker who likes to keep busy. At home, I'm often having more than one parenting conversation at the same time: 2nd grader talking about his friend's birthday party coming up on Saturday while directing my currently home schooled daughter how to make doughnut dough. I make lists - but once I do, I usually don't have to look at them again. I do rely on a calendar that beeps reminders for important appointments and rendez-vous. I prioritize:  what must be done each day, what would be nice to have done, and what can wait for another day. I also mix, match and combine, trying to kill two birds with one stone when and where I can. I tend to use mornings for home schooling, housework, lesson planning. Early afternoons are spent at school most days. A different person is assigned "kitchen duty" each day of the week - with Mama almost always available. That includes prep, cooking and clean-up. It is great to be able to say to any of my four oldest what the dinner meal plans are and know that they can pretty much put it on the table for me. That lets me spend evenings with the "off duty" kids; we all spend 30 minutes cleaning and picking up the house most nights. But keep in mind - these strategies are what is working for this family right now, in this season of life. It might change next week and if it does, we'll figure out together what to do then and there. I've also got an amazing husband and some pretty cool kids who will  step in and help, if and when they see a need.

Someone once compared life to a juggling act - we all have too many balls we're trying to keep up in the air. The key thing is not to let the ones that will shatter and break hit the ground... I remind myself that people are always more important than an agenda or time schedule - which leads right into the final question I was asked.

Last night, the middle school grades of Sahel Academy performed the musical, Sheherezade. Three of my crew performed and it was truly delightful and just a lot of fun. I love this community!

What is my favorite part about living internationally? That's the easiest question of all! Hands down, at least in this particular locale - it is the community. I love the people with whom I interact on a daily basis - both Nigerien and expat, Christian or not. That's also the hardest thing when I think about leaving - not seeing this amazing extended family that God has gifted to us. It is really hard to imagine living, working and raising our family in any place other than this. It isn't the kind of place most point to on a map and say, "I'm dying to go live there!" I'm so thankful God decided He was sending us this way.

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Now I'd like to introduce you to Ashley. She's a beautiful mama and you should really take a bit of time and get to know her. I've certainly been blessed by her sweet, humble  and generous spirit as I've interacted with her over the past couple of years!

     If we were to get together, I’d either invite you over to my apartment to share a cup of Starbucks coffee from my special stash, or we’d go to my favorite little bakery a short bus stop from my home. One of my favorite things to do is to connect deeply with friends over a cup of coffee!

     Some things that I am passionate about are my family (we just had our 4th child in early April... it's been kind of a crazy adjustment!), encouraging missionary moms, relating to moms in my community and using our common joys and struggles to point them toward Jesus, coffee (did I mention that yet?), Russian culture, and my home town of Seattle.  

   Never in a million years would I have imagined that I’d become a missionary! Like so many things in my life, I have not ended up where I had expected, and I am so glad! (Ask me about what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was 10 years old, or where I thought I’d be less than a year before agreeing to go long-term to Russia, or about how we raised all of our support to go to a place we never went!) God’s plan far exceeds anything that I could have imagined! 

Feel free to ask any questions that you may have in the comments!

Help! My Man Is ALWAYS Around!

Just me and my man.  It's not been too many years since we were dating and I dreamed of spending all our days together, giggling while we worked and inspiring each other as we bounced ideas back and forth over dreamy looks and picnic lunches.  What could be better than that, right?  Um, yeah.  Twenty years later, we got that chance when we moved out of the country to conquer the world for Jesus.  And reality set in.

Since our home is the base of operations here, gone are the days of seeing him off to work with a kiss each morning, teaching the kids and running errands all day, then having his dinner ready when he returns in the evening.  Everything from mealtime to homeschooling to who goes out for groceries has changed, and everyone in the house has felt the heat from the adjustments.

Defining a new normal has been an unexpected challenge, exacerbated by the fact that there just isn't much support out there for wives like me. So when I saw this book coming out, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on it.  Even better, this one was a freebie offered to me by the publisher in exchange for my opinions.  Let's just say it was a welcome addition to my e-bookshelf.

OFFICIAL BOOK DESCRIPTION: What do you do when your husband calls and says he's lost his job? How do you handle a husband who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and is now homebound? Will your routine ever get back to normal now that your loving husband who has been deployed for 12 months is now suddenly back at home? Regardless of the reason he's home, one fact is clear . . . he's home. Dear God, He's Home! is a practical, honest look at how women can deal with a spouse--regardless of the reason--who is forced to become a stay-at-home man.  (**Note: By clicking the title, you'll be directed to Amazon, where the e-book is currently $2.99.)

MY THOUGHTS:  Making the transition from what is considered a traditional family set-up--husband working outside the home, wife considering the house her domain--can be very stressful.  Not only has the author (Janet Thompson) dealt with the situation several times in her life, but she includes the stories of many others facing this change due to health complications, retirement, unemployment, a home office, or some other development.  I found that much of it applied to our situation, even though she didn't specifically include foreign missionaries on her list.  ;)

The book is divided into 14 chapters full of examples, practical advice, scriptures, a sample prayer, and journaling prompts--yet another reminder that I could benefit from journaling.  (Note to self:  Add personal journal to the to-do list.). Focus, Christie. Focus.  Okay.

Each chapter has several smaller sections packed with wisdom, short enough to do each as a daily devotion.  The big focus in on opening up communication so that both the husband and the wife understand the expectations each has.  Several tools are provided to facilitate coming together to shape these expectations into a workable reality.

Although the book is meant to be for the wife, there are parts that can be shared with your husband, such as the sanity tools at the end, and some of the personal stories are from the man's point of view.

The only complaint I might have is that I had a bit of a hard time keeping up with all the real-life examples.  There were so many, which is good for helping the reader connect to the book and realize she's not the first person to pass through this. But I began to confuse the stories and couples as the book progressed through snippets from these stories with each section.  It's possible that reading a print version of this book would have helped with this, but I had an ebook copy and can't speak as to how the layout affects the ease of reading.

I found the book very thorough, in that it dealt with the emotional, financial, spiritual, and physical aspects of this life change. I've definitely added it to my list of recommended resources for missionary wives coming on the field, and I think that going through it together before the big transition would maximize the benefits.

Is it possible I'm not the only one who struggled a bit with this change?  What advice would you give yourself if you could go back to just before the transition?