Talking to the wind

I love the way God moves. 

How he works. 

Don't You? 

My 8 year old read to me from her devo the other
morning about how God is like the wind. 

How we know He is working even when we cannot actually see
Him with our eyes doing it. 

Our living room curtain blew as she continued to read to me. 

She was fascinated by this. 

I must admit,

so was I.

   (This photo takes my breath away as I now reflect back on it.)

***

I remember the days back in Kansas. 

I was a Beth Moore bible study junkie. 

Yup,

That was me. 

I attended every one that was ever available for a number of years. 

I have broke Free,

ascended through the Psalms,

met Esther,

 walked with James

 and revelled at the pages of Revelations with my sisters. 

And my daughters the second time through as

I facilitated to a group of missionary mamas in Colorado. 

When I lived in a hotel room. Before I got a kitchen back again.

Nothing, not even a DTS, then some more training, and 4 years at

Celebrate Recovery

could have prepared me for this. 

This one is Huge.

No prepared shopping lists,

nothing.

Nothing I can fabricate and no 'dance' to make my girls' think

missions and obeying God is Cool.

(Not even bringing  American Girl dolls to make that journey with our

 new

American Bulldog Puppy (and us) to the new land...

)

 I really tried to prepare to serve God here, happy American family and happy ministry.  Right?

Drum roll please........

I am now

  Walking with the Invisible Creator God. 

The God of the Nations, that I used to think was the God of America.

In Kansas I learned to walk with people,

in Central Asia I have learned to walk with God.

How very unexpected I must say.

Refreshing to have yet another revelation of His goodness playing out in my life.

I almost withered away into a flaky daisy before

 I came to this realization.

Like last week.

This was recent.

I have so not 'arrived' yet.

Jesus, help me.

I am still but as fragile as a flower.

I just never really understood that frailty before I had

all of the distractions stripped away.

No more Christan book store just off exit 213.

Or a car to drive me there if there was one.

No more biblical morals in the society.

No more Dairy Queen?

I ride a scooter now friends.

Huh?

I drive it too.

Sometimes.

I feel like I should let you know that I never would

have done that in the States.

Gone without decent icecream

and trusted myself on a motorbike.

Wow.

I need that Big Man upstairs that I have spent so

much time reading about to really meet me these days.

As I ponder about things I have Never had to ponder about.

Like for real,

'cause the Bible study friends

are no longer a Thursday away.

And my attempts at making life super fun here for my

family are wearing thin when I am not calling out for Him. 

 'Cause without my abiding, I am no fun. 

Therefore the fun cannot spillith over.

That is so not my gig, at least it wasn't before!

I am almost 5 months into actually living, aka setting up a new life abroad.

In the past 5 months I have literally felt every feeling a human can

(p.s and I am not even a feeler.)

Through it all, the blessings of finally having a kitchen again and the hardships of looking my daughters in the face when they cry about having no friends...

We have this to stand on.

We are truly learning to walk with God.

All of the frills removed.

No smoke and stage lights on Sundays anymore.

JUST US AND GOD.

How radical is that?

He is Invisible here it seams. 

Like the wind holding up that curtain,  

Like I might be checked into the hospital if someone hears me these days

talking to the wind as I call it as I go about my day.

But boy, do I see him moving behind the scenes.

I see him in my broken man as

he sees for the first time human trafficking.

My man is growing stronger as he

spends more time on his knees and prayer

walking these streets.

I feel the presence of God when he gives me insta-discernment

at the most random of times that I really

needed to "see" into motives of our unredeemed neighbors.

Even when the old me would just be naive.

When I hold my camera these days it feels like I am seeing what He sees. 

Beauty in the purest of things, 

when the world says they are worth nothing.

I see him as the waves hit this dry and barren coast line.  I know his harvest is ripe and ready for the picking.

I am one of many that have the honor of being called abroad.

I speak for us all in that this transition is the most challenging thing that we never knew would be so challenging. 

Yet, I think the reward goes far beyond any ministry on behalf of the Gospel that we could do.

It comes along with the

greatest gift of all.

Learning to walk hand in hand with the Invisible God.