Rekindling the Romance...

Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, it is only appropriate that we have a story about love. This, however, isn’t probably going to be exactly the story that you’re expecting.

Before I became a wife and a mother, I loved ballet. I started dancing when I was 3 and eventually spent years dancing for hours upon hours each day. I loved the movement, the music, performing, the physical challenge, the satisfaction of seeing progress… It gave me so much enjoyment and was a huge part of my life.  

 

Dancing at age 15

Once my husband and I married, we had our eyes firmly set on our God’s call to the mission field and our hope to start a family. These two joys were far more satisfying than even my beloved ballet, and for many reasons, I decided to quit dancing. I was not sad about it. It didn’t feel like a loss. I was ready to move on. 

My last performance

Eleven years later, just this past autumn, after pouring myself out almost exclusively for these two great joys, my family and our life in ministry, I hit a season this where I was really struggling physically, and as a result of the physical struggles, I was exhausted and having a hard time emotionally. For months there were many symptoms that the doctors couldn’t figure out. I went from diagnosis to diagnosis with no successful treatment. I finally got a big part of the puzzle figured out when I discovered that weakness in my back was the cause of a lot of nerve pain. The doctor’s prescription was for me to find a way to exercise in order to regain strength and to correct my posture. Thinking this over, it didn’t take long for me to realize that ballet would greatly help with both. 

I started taking ballet again about a month ago, after an 11 year break. That first class back was so physically hard, but so exhilarating at the same! I had totally forgotten how much I love ballet. I immediately began feeling better physically as my strength improved, and much to my surprise, doing ballet again has brought a joy to my life that I had completely forgotten existed. There is such great joy and fulfillment in doing things that are deeply meaningful in and eternal sense, but I believe that the Lord also designed us to take joy in other things simply because they are pleasurable. He loves us with a fatherly love that desires to give us all types of joy. Through this little ballet revival of mine, the Lord has reminded me that He not only values me delighting in the deeply meaningful kingdom work that He has called me to, but as a loving Father He also desires to bless me by allowing me to truly enjoy the beauty in this world that He has created. For me, that happens through the motions of dance and the beauty of classical music. For others it will be something totally different. 

11 year's later, I got a new pair of "boots!"

I’ve also seen how my emotional and physical reserves have greatly increased as I’ve made room for this hobby. I thought I’d be squeezing our schedule and decreasing my capacity to make room for ballet, but I’ve actually found that the opposite has happened because I am so much more energized than I have been in years. Moms, it is so hard to find the time for seemingly frivolous things like hobbies, but wow, had I truly believed the commonly shared wisdom of maintaining a good outlet for personal enjoyment, I would never have let this part of my life slip for so many years. I feel like I am delighting in the Lord in new ways and more able to delight in my callings as a mother and missionary as a result of making this space to care for myself. I know we've all heard such things a million times, but really, it is actually true! For some reason I thought that the years with little ones in particular were a time where such things would need to be set aside (my kids are 9, 7, 4, and almost 2), but I’ve realized that this is perhaps a time where I need this outlet more than ever!

Friends, do you have a hobby that you do simply for your own enjoyment? Perhaps a form of exercise or art? Maybe a craft or talent? Is there anything that you do now that makes you experience the Lord's love and care for you simply because you enjoy it so much?  If not, what is a hobby or talent that you’ve loved in the past that you have let go? If you’re in the camp that I was in only a month ago of having little to no personal outlet, I would greatly encourage you to try to creatively make space in your schedule to care for yourself in this way! Oh, how I wish I had done this sooner!

(Also, we had a little posting glitch due to the time differences between continents, so this post and Sarah's previous post ended up close together. If you haven't seen Sarah's post below this yet, you won't want to miss it!)