I am out of topics! Please send in your suggestions!
I think this goes well with yesterday's post and the recent great discussion of couple time: How do you get time for yourself? And how do you find a balance there, not tipping towards selfishness, but also avoiding burnout? Do you have a regular time set aside to be alone? What do you use it for if you do, or what would you want to use time alone for, if you could have it? It also might be interesting to hear where you are on the introvert-extrovert continuum, when you answer.
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I love to go to a cafe to read and enjoy a cup of coffee for alone time. My husband is pretty great if I tell him that I am feeling overwhelmed or tired and need a bit of a breather and likes to give me time to get out to do this. I almost always go have some "me time" soon after my husband returns from trip and I've been home alone for an extended time with the kids. It is always so helpful to get some quiet after parenting solo! I am also a major extrovert, so often times when I am given "me time" I choose to enjoy it with a friend. Again, I love cafes, but I especially enjoy them when I have a good friend to sit and talk with. Talks with friends over coffee usually refresh me more than time alone.
ReplyDeletewhen i had little ones, i used to go out and scrapbook one night a week, most weeks, after the kids were mostly in bed. as they got older and homework loads became heavier, i had to give that. then i had a friend and she and i would go out for breakfast one saturday a month. she left last spring so what i've done lately this year is put the headphones on and watch or rewatch one of my favorite tv shoes... dr quinn or the mentalist. when i've got the headphones on, the family knows i'm needing a little space and are usually good enough to grand it. i miss the time to hang out with my friend.
ReplyDeleteI bet you do miss your friend, Richelle. That is kind of hard.
ReplyDeleteI am an extrovert, and also love time with friends,it is a blessing that I get energized by meeting with Turkish women for discipleship, as well as with foreign friends. Either are good energizers for me.
But I NEED a bit of downtime daily after home school, if my schedule permits. When kids were little I had an enforced "rest time" for them, which gave me 45 min.-1 hour alone. Now they are around the house, and MOM has the rest time. I make phone calls uninterrupted, or read, or look at e-mail.
i've had some dear local friends who i love and with whom i love to spend time - but i've never found that those times address my need when burnout or ministry fatigue threatens. i don't know if the culture, worldview is just a hurdle that always keeps us on guard or if my introversion, in the end, always keeps a bit of a wall there. i find it hard to be open and transparent within my own culture... it is that much more of a challenge in my adopted one.
Deletethat must be a beautiful thing and a gift from God to be able to overcome that hurdle, Olive.
Richelle, I think *maybe* the cultural difference you're dealing with is a little bigger than some. For me, the worldview here really don't seem all that different. I haven't been able to make friends, because I've been so busy with my little ones. I feel like if I had time to devote to it, getting out with local friends would be very fulfilling for me.
DeleteI'm a definite extrovert, but I have to escape sometimes to the hammock to read. Or to a nearby bench where I play the flute. I've also found that the 5-hour bus ride I make once a month or so, from where I live to my doctor, is quite relaxing, if I spring for the bus with a/c. Just sitting with the headphones in--audiobook, sermon, music, podcasts, whatever. I have to strike a keen balance, though, because if I get too much time alone, I start to get depressed and have to go find people. After one of those bus rides, I usually spend that next day hanging out with all the neighbors! ;)
ReplyDeleteAll these extroverts! My other online friends and I theorized that extroverts aren't very active on the internet; you're proving us wrong. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm officially an introvert, but I'm so close to the line that it took me years to admit that. Actually, I like to say that I'm an ambivert. I need BOTH time alone and time with people. Too much social interaction, and I start wanting to hide in a hole. Too much solitude, and I feel like I'll go crazy.
We do school during the little ones' nap time, so I don't get that quiet time daily anymore. However, on the weekends, afternoon quiet time is usually mine. Everyone reads or rests, and I have quiet to work on a project or just think. But then, the past few weekends it didn't work out for me to have that, and I really struggled. So, I've been thinking about how to cope without, and also how to be pretty sure that I get some time regularly.
Meeting a friend for coffee or breakfast once in a while sounds like a dream to me, but I haven't had a friend 5 years now. :-( That's why I need you all!
ambivert... i love that! smiling big here!
Deletei used to come out dead even on the extrovert/introvert scales - no matter what test i took. then i had 8 kids! i think i've become more introverted simply as a matter of survival and a need for just a bit of space, anywhere, somehow!
I have 4kids with the eldest 6 and the youngest 13months.
ReplyDeleteWith no family around us, I have lived for a while in that state of tiredness which we can all recognise.
Somewhere along the line I realised I wasnt going to get 'mum time' when kids wouldnt day sleep or hubby worked. I prayed and prayed and prayed for peace.
Peace is promised to us as a fruit of the Spirit. The Spirit who is in us and in our homes. I prayed for rest in the quiet moments when I was reading a book to the kids. I relished a nice shower. I took noisey kids for a walk (with young ones in the stroller) to have space and quiet(ish-ness)
Thank you for the practical tips on prayer and going for walks. What you wrote is SO helpful!
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