Danielle asks: One of the challenges that I face so often is finding time for just my husband and I to spend time together doing something fun. It seems like a challenge to come up with the time, finances, and babysitting to make a "date night" happen. So often we fall into the trap of talking about things that need to get done around the house, funds that need to be raised, or things that have to happen concerning our ministry. It's so easy to just find ourselves on the hamster wheel of life and realize that many weeks have passed without any quality time as a couple. This is something that we really want to improve this year. So does anyone have any creative ideas for finding time to date your husband in the middle of things like language learning, housework, raising kids, and serving on the mission field?
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Yes! We LOVE date night! And it can happen on the mission field! One of the things we love to do (which we need to get back to!) is planning a date for each other. On my week, I'll plan a date night that I know my husband will love. And then on his week, he will plan something he knows I will love. It's like a date and a gift rolled into one! You can do home dates- where you feed the kids something easy and early and put them to bed- or put a movie on in their room (with the warning that someone must be dying for them to disturb you). This link is cute if you need a jump start on ideas! http://www.meetpenny.com/2012/01/a-romantic-countdown-for-couples-free-printables/
ReplyDeleteOh, and you can find a family to trade babysitting with if you need to get out of the house! Free childcare! Blessing for both couples!
DeleteI thought this was a really good question, because we CANNOT figure it out in this household. There is absolutely no one who can babysit for us. Kelly mentions trading with other couples, but there's no one around us who needs babysitting or who would consider taking on our "huge" family. All the young couples have personal babysitters (i.e. grandparents), and all the older people are busy with their own grandchild. We have really been scrounging for someone--anyone!--lately because we really wanted to go to a conference together. My husband is leaving to go alone in a few hours. :-(
ReplyDeleteWe did go on a date in the summer of 2010, when we had someone visiting us, and she offered to watch the children. I also used to plan home dates, but I've just given up on that. We usually just get distracted with usual stuff if we're at home. Someday our children will be old enough to leave for a little bit while we go for a walk or something.
Sorry, I don't have any good answer, but I'm definitely watching these comments!
We went through years like that, and it's draining. We kept trying the home date option, too, as it seemed to work for so many people. I couldn't turn off my "there's work to be done" mode long enough, or someone would drop by, or the kids would have some "emergency", so it rarely worked. I know a couple who gets up super early each morning to have tea in the hammock together and a devotional. I am not even close to a morning person, so that was way out. Praying that something comes along for y'all....
DeleteWhen our kids were small, we enjoyed some movie nights after they were in bed.
ReplyDeleteWhen they went to a once a week homeschool co-op, we had lunch together on the day they were gone. These weren't glamorous, romantic dates, but they were a chance to be alone and talk!
Now we most often go out on coffee dates on Tuesday afternoon at 4, easier to schedule than evening dates, and we're not leaving the kids alone at night.
when our kids were younger (and we couldn't get someone to watch 8 of them) and we didn't feel the biggers were quite ready to babysit the littlers all by themselves...
ReplyDeletewe used to sneak out for lunch dates. the littles would be napping and the lady who cleaned our house (and who loves our kids and they love her) would be around. we'd throw in a little extra and she'd watch the kids and we'd go to lunch.
we've also done as olive suggested - had a date night at home - getting all the kids in bed or confined to their rooms.
we feel like we've got it made, now - our older kids are built in babysitters when we need them. :-)
it's not too original, but yes, we often do our date night at home, too. Monday evening is sacred time...we find a quiet corner, and eat dinner, or dessert. it's time just to be together. sometimes what we need most is just to sit and be quiet, or we watch a movie together. other times we talk about our day, and sometimes we read through a book together. right now we're reading our way through Tim Keller's book on marriage - that provokes some great conversation that isn't about ministry or money! :)
ReplyDeleteThese are good suggestions...we try to get coffee or lunch sometimes when the kids are at school, but we always end up talking about "work" because we have so much going on!
ReplyDeleteOur girls are teens now, and they have a weekly small group meeting with the church youth. We drop them off and have a couple hours free to sit on a bench at the park, walk around with an ice cream cone, or--on a good week--go to a restaurant. Eating out is pretty cheap here, so we are doubly blessed by that and their weekly commitment. :) When missionaries come to visit us, we always encourage them to go out and leave their kids with us, because we had many years when we didn't have an option for leaving ours anywhere for couple time. I love the idea of a trade-off, too, if trustworthy folks live nearby.
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