Rambling thoughts

I'm stepping away from what I had planned to write. Hopefully you'll be able to follow my rambles. There have been a lot of emotions swirling around in my heart and mind lately, and I would like to try to get some of them out. Recently, in something that I wrote here, I mentioned that it's been five years since we were kicked out of our beloved Russia. The end of those five years--my official term of "exile"--is probably what has stirred up my emotions. That, and we're trying to move again now.

So, recently I took a look at our blogroll. (Have you added your own blog there yet?) That led me to Early Morning Missionary. (So nice to "meet" you Casey!) From there, I ended up on this post and discovered a whole world of missions blogging that I hadn't seen before. (I did see some familiar faces from here, though.)

But back to "this post," as I call it....
The questions asked there have been ringing in my head all week. This statement, too:

"If you follow and obey God, it will always work out for God. There’s no promise about it working out for you."

I have the exact same response that she did: "Sigh."

Here we are. Trying as hard as we can to follow. And yet it feels like we've been wandering in the wilderness for 5 years. Our time here hasn't been wasted; I won't go so far as to say that. But it has just been hard and has often seemed pointless. So--strangely--what I quoted above has been a real encouragement to me in what I have been wresting with. As I ask God why He has had us here, what we have been supposed to be doing, if we missed His direction, and so on, I think I have finally found the answer. And it's a strange one: I may never know! How is that an answer? What feels like an answer is the assurance that it is working out for God.

It is also working out for good. I have been able to cling to "All things work together for good," but it has been so hard to understand the how and why. I guess what is just sinking in now is that this is good. It may not look good to me, but I can't see the whole picture. It is working out for God's glory, and I will trust. His glory is also ultimately for my good. That is what is promised.

To the quote above, I think I have to add a little bit: If you follow and obey God, it will always work out for God. There’s no promise about it working out for you in this life. Then I can agree with it.

What about you? Do you agree? Does obedience necessarily mean a thriving ministry and rewards in this life? I would also love to hear you explain it another way, if you disagree.

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And a little bonus--a poem from the Daily Strength for Daily Needs that I am coming to love so much: 

"All is of God that is, and is to be;

And God is good."

Let this suffice us still,

Resting in childlike trust upon His will,

Who moves to His great ends, unthwarted by the ill.

J. G. WHITTIER.