This week I had
yet another cooking-for-company fiasco.
I put two whole chickens into a hot oven at 5:00 p.m., and then for some
reason turned the oven OFF without noticing. At 6:00, just a half hour before
my guests arrived, I opened the oven door to take a look and found two stone-cold,
raw chickens! Panic! My husband saved
the day by wrestling and cutting them up for quicker cooking. Waiting for the
meal to cook made for plenty of time to chat with our guests.
Even though I’m
a cross-cultural worker in the Middle East, I spend most of my time going
grocery shopping, cooking, taking kids
to appointments, cooking, cleaning
house, home schooling, and cooking.
Sometimes I ask myself, where does ministry come in here? I don’t have much
time for preparing Bible studies or planning outreach events...
What I can do is open my home and invite people into the life we’re
already living. Dinner is a daily event at our house, and hospitality is probably my most significant
ministry here.
Hospitality is
About Being Flexible
Over the years
I’ve learned to be flexible if people come late, if they come early, or if they
bring extra friends along. On chicken fiasco night, I was happy when Bahar
called at the last minute to ask if she and her husband could bring her brother
Cem. Bahar and I have been praying for
years that Cem would come to the Lord. We had a lovely evening laughing and telling
stories. At the end we pulled out the Bible, as we do most nights, to read and pray
together. I smiled when my kids prayed
for Cem.
Hospitality is
About Making Time
Lale is a
young Christian who expressed to me several times that she wanted to get
together, but I never made definite plans with her. However, the third time she asked about
visiting us, I decided that rather than waiting for a convenient time, I would
MAKE time for Lale. So I rushed home one afternoon after
a prayer meeting to start preparing a simple dinner. When she arrived, I
invited her to the kitchen and we talked
while she helped me cook. Our family had a delightful time getting to know her,
and after the kids went to bed, I worked up the courage to ask how her relationship
with God was going. We spent a few minutes talking and praying about our daily
time with God, and I sent her out the door with a hug.
I suspect that in
the Middle East, simple hospitality speaks louder than a Bible study, but at
the same time it can be overwhelming to invite people over. I like to remember
the following real life hospitality tips.:
Relax
If you burn the
food, laugh it off. You don’t need
to impress anyone.
Let Your Guests
Help
Don’t kill
yourself trying to have everything ready on time. Invite guests to the kitchen
and let them help you.
Keep It Simple
Have 2 to 4
easy recipes, default dishes you can cook for company anytime.
Serve a bar of
chocolate broken into pieces with fruit and tea or coffee for a quick dessert.
What does
hospitality look like in your home? What is your favorite tip for making
entertaining easier?
I love this! My main ministry right now (besides taking care of our son) is hospitality. It's so encouraging to see others doing the same!! :)
ReplyDeleteHospitality is also a big part of my ministry here... we have three weekend guests as I type!
ReplyDeleteFor me, the biggest change came when I intentionally stopped thinking of it as entertaining (because then it was my job to make sure that the house is spotless, the food delightful, the kids are perfectly behaved and that everyone had a good time) and choose to remember that what I'm doing is sharing my family with and being friendly to guests... someone who's not regularly in or a part of my home. Then I can chuck attempting perfection (while not a bad thing in and of itself) our the \window. Guests are more likely to feel welcome if I'm not in a sour mood because I didn't meet MY expections before they arrived.
Wow, that is really a great insight,Richelle.I've also let go of having a spotless house for guests, and I've felt bad about it! But when I read your comment, it makes me feel better. I will repeat this to myself, "I'm not entertaining..."
DeleteI don't know where I heard it, but "Seek to bless, not impress" always helps me with hospitality. Also, since hospitality doesn't come naturally to me, I have to practice it, and learn from others who are gifted in hospitality. One thing I learned is that if someone drops by, instead of asking them if they'd like a drink, asking if they would like juice or coffee. That makes the decision for them to stay easier. And after dinner, it helps to not look at the clock or saying something like, "you must be tired." Maybe that is just common sense, but I had to learn it!
ReplyDeleteServing Jesus in Kenya
When we first moved to the field, a spiritual gifts test our team director had us take showed that hospitality was NOT at all my gifting. I felt discouraged by this, but decided that it really was an area that I wanted to grow in, and so for the past four and a half years, I have been working on it! I think the role of a missionary wife requires growth in the area of hospitality no matter what. I feel like I have grown a lot, through God's grace, and hospitality is coming more naturally to me. We have groups of people in our home throughout the week and there rarely is a day that no one stops by. Like Richelle wrote, defining a difference between hospitality and entertaining helped a lot. A wise older woman told me that gracious hospitality has very little to do with entertaining. So, for me, gracious hospitality means inviting someone who stops by our gate to come in even if my house isn't spotless (which with small children, it rarely is)... or inviting someone to stay for cafecito (afternoon coffee time) even if I only have store bought crackers to offer. I have learned some tips, though, to make these things easier... having cookie dough made and frozen so I can throw a sheet of cookies in the oven if I see someone will be staying for cafecito... or, investing in some storage ottomans for our living room so that when I see someone at the gate, I can quickly throw the loose toys strewn about in them! ha!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments. I'm learning from you. I love the "Seek to bless, not impress" mentality. It kind of goes along with what Richelle says about the difference between hospitality and entertaining.
ReplyDeleteAnd those are great practical tips, Sarah. The frozen cookie dough and storage ottomans. I don't have little kids and toys around anymore, but I have homeschooling teenagers and a myriad of books strewn around the living room, so I probably need a quick stash place in my living room too!