Mommy's Lesson on the First Day

When we moved to Costa Rica, our firstborn was only three months old.  I was not thinking very specifically yet about what we would do for education (although that was a question our families asked us a lot!).  Then, we moved to our small town, where there are really only four schooling options: the public school, a private Spanish-only school, a private bilingual school, and homeschooling (which has some very strict legal limitations here).  When thinking about the various options back in that baby/toddler stage, I was pretty convinced that the one option we would not choose would be the private bilingual school.  And, where do our kids go now?  Yep, the private bilingual school!  The decision was made basically by a process of elimination; none of the other options were a good fit for us here and at this time.  My dream situation here would be a Christian school where parents can be really involved, much like the one that I attended... however, that option does not exist where we are.

When that 3-month old firstborn became an almost 6 year old ready for kindergarten, we were in the States on a home assignment.  I homeschooled him for that first part of kindergarten, which was a great fit for us as we traveled.  I loved it!  But, when we returned to Costa Rica, we made the decision to enroll our son in kindergarten and our daughter in pre-kinder at the bilingual school.  On the first day of school, I was so worried about how the kids would react to going to school after being homeschooled and with us constantly during our time in the States.  But, it turned out that Mommy was the only one who cried that day.

It also turned out that I had the biggest lesson to learn that day.


walking into school on the first day, when I started to tear up
 

I have to admit -- I did more than just a little crying after dropping the kids off.  I did a.lot.of.crying.  Like go home and completely lose it and sob and sob and sob while pouring out my confused little heart to my most likely very overwhelmed husband.  Looking back, I'm bit surprised by my strong reaction, but I also understand that the emotions had as much to do with all of the emotions of returning to life in Costa Rica as it did with the kids going to school.  Sending them to school was just a reminder of how our decision to live and minister in Costa Rica changes so many of our life's decisions.  I really loved homeschooling, and I think it's likely we would homeschool if we lived in the States.  Here, though, we feel strongly that our kids need to gain fluency in Spanish to be able to be fully part of our community and that the best way to do that, for now and for our family, is for them to attend a local school.    Homeschooling or a Christian school may still be in our future, but, for now, (which is really all I need to know right now!), they are attending this school to learn Spanish.  We are grateful to have such a great school to send them to here.  But, still, it was hard for me as I wrestled with how our decision to live here affects our decision on how to educate our kids.  And, it was hard to feel like while the bilingual school was a good option, it was several items down on my list of ideal options.

As I calmed down on that first day of school, I was reminded of something I've had to learn over and over again as a missionary wife and mom... I cannot compare my life here to what I think my life would be if we lived in the States.  That's not our life.  This - living and working in Costa Rica - is our life, for now and for as long as God wants us here.  So, we make the decisions that work best for our family and for the life and ministry God has placed us in.  Comparing and contrasting with what life in States looks like (or, really, what I think it might look like!) does nothing but make me lose the joy that I can have in this amazing life God has given us in Costa Rica.  And, I love this life!  How cool is it that our kids get to grow up learning a second language and being part of this beautiful culture?  Now, more than a year from that first day of school, I daily see the benefits the kids have gained as I hear them speaking Spanish more confidently, and, as our local friends tell us, with a perfect Costa Rican accent!  I also have been blessed with many friendships with moms at the school, providing opportunities to share my life and testimony with a group of women I never would have known if our kids were not at that school.

The kids may have learned some new Spanish words and some new letters on the first day of school, but it was Mommy who learned the most important lesson of the day.

We're thankful how this school has allowed our whole family to learn more about Costa Rican culture.

Do you struggle with imagining what your life could look like if you were still in your passport country?  Has a lack of education options in the place you serve led you to choose something less than your ideal for your kids' schooling?  We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Back to School

We're going to be trying something new here on Missionary Mom's Companion!  The contributors are going to be working together to write about a common theme that applies to our unique roles as moms serving cross-culturally.  We'll be focusing on our first theme through the end of October, and then our plan will be to have monthly themes starting in November.

So, our first theme is...

(...drumroll...)

... EDUCATION!!!

Oh my, isn't this a huge topic??  I didn't realize how big of an issue it would be for us as a family until recently, when our kids reached school age.  As with many things living overseas, our plans for education have not worked out how I envisioned, and, ironically enough, we currently have our kids doing the only option that I had said (when we first arrived in Costa Rica) that I would definitely not do! 

I think that the biggest lesson I've learned so far on this topic is that the choices we make about our kids' education are going to look different depending on each family and even each child within a family.  Our decisions will be based on so many different factors -- what schooling options are available, the needs, values, and parenting styles of our family, the individual needs of each child, our ministry, the culture in which we're serving, etc.  So, as we approach this topic here on Missionary Mom's Companion, it is definitely not our goal to come to a conclusion about the best way to educate a child overseas... because I firmly believe that there isn't one best way!  Rather, we hope to share our hearts and varied experiences in a way that provides mutual encouragement in this area that can be so challenging for us as missionary moms.

I am still at the beginning of our kids' journey in education, so I know that I'm going to be learning so much more in the years ahead.  I'm excited about sharing some of what I've learned so far, as well as hearing from other missionary moms around the world about this topic!  In sharing on this topic, it is my hope that we'll hear not just from those contributing posts, but also from so many more moms in the comments.  I'm really looking forward to hearing from you all! 

As we approach this huge topic, what would you like to know about other missionary moms' experiences with education here on Missionary Mom's Companion?

My Frantic Questions; His Gentle Answers - part four

Over the past few days, I've been sharing about a change God brought about in my heart during our second year of living here in Costa Rica.  Finally, opening my mind and heart to truly listen to what God had to say to me about the doubts I was having about the effectiveness of our ministry, how hard my adjustment was, and how strategic and important our work really was lead me to a place of peace that I so desperately needed.  Today, I'm sharing the final two questions that I took to the Lord at that time. 

My frantic question:  Isn't this different from what you always wanted to do with your life? 

Ouch.  This is hard!  When I was 13, I started praying that God would give me the opportunity to go to the former Soviet Union.  A few years later, things started to a fall into place in a way that God had clearly prepared my heart for.  Not knowing of my prayers, friends invited me to join their ministry in Ukraine when I was 17.  I came home sure my life's calling was to missions somewhere in the Slavic world.  I took more trips to Ukraine and to Russia, focused on studying Russian and Ukrainian linguistics in college, and, my heart and plans narrowed in on a certain region of Ukraine.  So many events and friendships throughout my university years increasingly pointed me towards my heart's desire to someday serve full-time in Ukraine, including the provision of a fellowship to study during grad school at the very university I had dreamed of someday teaching English at, in Lviv, Ukraine.

And, then, I fell in love with a man with a huge heart for the poor of Latin America, and that story is a very long one with its own set of frantic questions and God's answers.  We got married ten days after I returned from studying in Ukraine!  We prayed for several years about where God was leading us, and, eventually the answer was clear: Latin America.  I genuinely was excited and eager to go, but the shock of how very different from Ukraine it all was once we arrived was really confusing for me.  What started as little fears of "are we sure that we got this right?  Did we miss something?" grew to the accusation of "this isn't what you wanted to do at all!"

His answer: Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's will that prevails.

moving to Costa Rica in 2008

That was it.  That verse from Proverbs 19 was all I heard.  I believe that God used my love for Ukraine and Russia to give me a heart for missions.  I still miss it.  I wish I remembered Ukrainian and Russian better than I do.  I still hope that I will go back someday.  The dream for our family to live in Ukraine someday is still there.  But, I know that God's will is where I want to be more than anything, and He has us here now. 

When we boarded our plane to move to Costa Rica, the flight attendant gave us a can of Coke that fascinated our 3-month old.  The label in Cyrillic letters immediately jumped out at me, and  I remember laughing at the irony.  But, later, as I looked back at the photo during these struggles, I felt like God was whispering to me, "I know, Sarah; I know your heart.  I know that plane, this journey, didn't take you where you thought it would.  I love you, and I know the plans I have for you, and they are good."

It is His will that prevails, and I am so thankful for that!  Because of His leading and His gentle work to shift my heart, I am in a very, very different place than I was when I first took these questions to the Lord.  I now absolutely love Costa Rica and its people, and I am blessed to be doing life where I never expected to be!

My last frantic question? It's one I'm sure we can all relate to: Aren't you lonely there? 

His short, simple answer was the sweetest of all: I am with you always. 

That is just what I need to remember.  Following Him does require leaving much behind, but knowing Him surpasses it all.  The promise of His presence is what helps me face these questions as they creep up again (and they do!), or as new ones arise.  I'm praying that we can press in to God, taking our questions to Him, releasing our doubts and fears to Him, and that we can press on in the beautifully different call each of us have received from Him.  Thanks for hearing my story, ladies!

My Frantic Questions; His Gentle Answers: part three

If you haven't been following along the past couple of days, make sure you go back and read Part One and Part Two of this series of posts!  Today, I'll share some more of my frantic questions and God's gentle answers during my hardest time of adjusting to life as a missionary mom. 

My frantic question: Wouldn’t it be easier if you had stayed in the States?  Isn’t this just too hard for you? 

Does anyone else have a washing machine like this?

We all know the challenges of moving to a new country, learning a new language, and building a new life and ministry.  During my first couple of years here, I was completely overwhelmed by these challenges.  It's interesting what still sticks out to me years later... a police officer yelling at me and refusing to help me our second week here, not knowing how to use our "semi-automatic" washing machine, being robbed several times, not being able to find relief from the tropical heat, ants and bugs everywhere, moving into an unfinished house with no furniture, really hurtful conflict with other missionaries, being terrified of driving here, receiving judgment when I needed acceptance, our house flooding repeatedly, trying to climb up onto our house's overflowing water tank when I was pregnant and my husband was out of the country... and so much more.  Yes, life was easier in the States, and this all just seemed too hard.

His gentle answer: You are not called to a life of ease.  What you are experiencing now is too hard for you to handle on your own; you can only handle it through My strength.  You can’t do it by yourself.  Lean on Me.

I couldn't do this new life in my own strength.  In the States, most of the time, it was something I could handle pretty well (so I thought), on my own.  It was bringing me here to Costa Rica that taught me how I truly dependent on God I really am.  This is a lesson I have to repeat to myself just as often as this question attacks me, which, I have to admit, is often.  But, God's answer is the same: "Lean on Me, Sarah." 

Another frantic question:  Wouldn't it be more strategic to be in a more "unreached" area? 

My husband and I had been excited about missions for years, so we had done a lot of reading, attended conferences, took the Perspectives class, and spent a lot of time with missions-minded people as we prepared to leave.  It was not lost on us that there was a huge push to get more workers among unreached and lesser reached people in parts of the world like East Asia and the Middle East.  My own heart was drawn especially to people who had never previously heard the gospel or been exposed to Bible teaching.  But, God through a series of events, led us to Latin America, and, at times, I found myself thinking that we weren't quite "real" missionaries because we weren't in one of those more strategic areas.  So, when things were so hard, this little thought ballooned into one of my frantic questions, wondering if what we were going through was really worth it when weren't even doing work as important as others. (Can you hear the lies I was listening to here, ladies?)

His gentle answer: I've asked you to be a blessing where I have placed you, which is, for now, Costa Rica.  Value this more than man's statistics, charts, terms, and opinions.

Those were just the words I needed to hear from Him to conquer these doubts and lies I was allowing to run so rampant in my head.  What's really exciting about this is that letting go of these insecurities lead us to a place of recognizing a strategic need for ministry focused on maturing the Latin American church, who we believe are playing and will continue to play an increasingly important role in the growth of the Church worldwide.  This understanding eventually lead us to a completely different role and ministry than we originally came to Costa Rica to do... and we are so thrilled to be part of it!

Please share what frantic questions you have struggled with about your role and place of ministry.  What gentle answers has the Lord given you to these questions?

Come back tomorrow to chat with us about this, and then again on Wednesday for the final post in this series! 

My Frantic Questions; His Gentle Answers - part two

our little family in 2008, newly arrived in Costa Rica

This post is a continuation from yesterday's, when I shared some of the story of our first couple of years of living and working in Costa Rica.  I did not follow the "normal" cycle of cultural adaptation; I completely skipped the honeymoon phase, and went straight into major culture shock less than 48 hours after landing in Costa Rica!  In addition to culture shock, I was adjusting to life as a mom (we moved here when our firstborn was 3 months old), and trying to figure out how I fit in a ministry organization that really didn't have a place for me.  (My husband is a structural engineer and was working with an organization of engineers and architects; I am a linguistics major who focused on Slavic linguistics... now living in Costa Rica.)

Throughout those first 18 months, I cried many tears, and, like I shared yesterday, my mind and heart got to a state of being consumed by confusion, doubt, hurt and fears.  And, now, ladies, I'm drawing a deep breath and wincing a little at being this vulnerable, but I got to a point one day that I was crying and trying to pray, and then realized I was literally yelling aloud, "I hate it here, God!"  Oh, was I thankful my neighbors didn't speak English!  It was at that point of brokenness that I went to the Lord, journal and pen in hand, and finally brought my frantic questions to Him with a heart ready to listen to His gentle answers.  When I looked back at the journal page to write these posts, I realized that I wrote the questions as if they were being fired at me, in an almost accusatory way, making it so clear to me now how these questions were coming both from my flesh and from the enemy.

My frantic question: Wouldn't you be more effective if you could minister in your native language?

This question really got me, because, frankly, I had a really fun, satisfying, effective ministry in the States before we moved to Costa Rica.  For years, I had invested a lot in international student ministry, and once I finished grad school, I taught English as a Second Language to immigrants and refugees at a local community college.  I loved how both the international student ministry and my teaching allowed me to build relationships and share Christ with people from literally all over the world... in English!  It was a dream!  I knew that I would eventually leave behind that dream job, but it still hit me hard when we moved here for a position with a ministry that was a great fit for my husband, but one in which I didn't even really have a role.  Language learning was a huge struggle for me as a new mom, and it was an adjustment to go from being the teacher to the student again.  It was so, so easy to dwell on how much more of a ministry I perceived I had in the States.  Additionally, I had anticipated using English as a ministry tool, and it wasn't really working out here in our rural town.

His gentle answer (as I wrote it in my journal): Let's go with My idea of effectiveness, not yours, Sarah.  I see people's hearts; you can't.  Has it not occurred to you that I can more effectively change your heart and sanctify you through what you are experiencing here? 

That wasn't what I was expecting!  I actually remember thinking, "Do I have such a hard heart that I have to be experiencing all this to change it!?"  How special, though, to be reminded that it is only God who knows people's hearts, that any ministry I have is truly His, and that He has so much work to still do in my heart!  It's His harvest field, and He is the one who truly changes hearts.

And, I will say that now, six years later, I'm fairly proficient in Spanish (thank God!), and I can see fruit of ministry that God has given me.  I also have such a bigger understanding of who it is that is really ministering.  We are His tools, gifted with the privilege of being used by Him to plant, cultivate, and harvest fruit.  But, that actual harvest is His!  And, so often, He is doing a great work in our hearts. 

Have you questioned if you could have a more effective ministry in the States?  What has God spoken to you about that? 

Please come back tomorrow for part three.  I have some more to share with you about this! 

My Frantic Questions; His Gentle Answers - part one

This photo is one that really takes me back to where I was emotionally in 2009, after we had been living here in Costa Rica for a year.  My husband took it with out me knowing.  It looks like a sweet photo of a mama watching over her toddling baby, but, when I see it, I remember the pain that I was in at that time.  Our little guy had just learned how to walk and was teetering around our new backyard.  I was staying close to him, and thinking how I felt like I was struggling to walk myself, still unsure how to navigate life in this new place.  While he was looking out over the valley behind our house with toddler wonder, I was looking at the horizon with my heart hurting and my mind racing with so many frantic questions.

Our first couple of years here were incredibly hard for me.  Unmet expectations, as well as some major challenges with relationships and with our living situation, quickly brought me to place of struggle about whether we were really supposed to be here.  I battled with doubts and fears that would often become the loudest voices in my head, making it impossible to arrive to a place of peace and acceptance.  When I look back through my journal of these days, I see that I did pray through my struggles, but I don't think I went to the Lord with my heart truly ready to hear His answers to my doubts and fears until we had been here for about 18 months (quite honestly, probably the hardest 18 months of my life).  I clearly remember the day that I went before Him, wrote the title "My Frantic Questions" at the top of my journal page, then listed the questions that were so frequently bringing me to discouragement and doubt, and then, by God's help and grace, quieted my heart to hear His gentle answers.  And, finally... finally... as I felt the distinct change between the state of my stress-filled, constant questioning and how my heart felt after receiving the sweet, gentle, truth-filled responses from Him, I entered a new stage of adjusting to life here.  And, as I recognized how profound that difference was, I realized that not only did my frantic questions come from my own flesh, but they came from my enemy, the same enemy who used a question to tempt Eve at the very beginning...

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"  The woman said, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'"   (Genesis 3:1-3)

The serpent started Eve down the path of temptation, of doubting God's truth, by asking a question that she really knew the answer to already.  And, in my case, intellectually, I knew the answers to the my frantic questions about our call to Costa Rica.  But, combined with emotions and temptation to doubt, I had fallen to a place of not trusting God.  My frantic questions had deafened me from hearing His voice, making it so easy to instead hear the voice of my flesh and of the enemy.

"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman.  "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."  When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  (Genesis 3:4-6)

That seed of doubt planted in Eve's and Adam's hearts was what led them to disobey and lose the sweet intimacy that they had with God.  When I read this passage in light of that time in my life, I think about how my husband was the one who I frequently bombarded with my frantic questions of doubt.  It wasn't until I finally took them to the Lord, with my heart finally open to receive His guidance, that I received His gentle answers.

Tomorrow, I'd like to share some of the questions I brought before the Lord that day in my journal.  I have to admit, I find myself hesitating to be vulnerable in this way, but it is my prayer that sharing this will help others who are struggling with frantic, stressful questions of their own.  Please join us again tomorrow for part two of this series! 

With Eyes Lifted Up

 

This is "my" mountain... the one that we could see clearly from the living room window of our first house here in our small town in Costa Rica.  It is the same one that I could see from the corner of our front porch in our second house, and, when I needed some soul refreshment, the one that I could see in all of its majesty by walking past the mango grove and to the end of our street.  Every Sunday, we drive out of town towards our church, down one steep mountainside, over a one-lane bridge, and then up to the neighborhood where our church building is currently located, at the foot of this beautiful mountain.  For me, this mountain has been a steady landmark -- one that I can find on the horizon to get directions straight in our little town where there are no addresses and very few street names.  Seeing it helps me know where I am, as well as give a reminder of our church family, the reason we're here.

But, most of all, this mountain frequently brings to mind one of my favorite verses in the Psalms:

"I lift my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."  - Psalm 121:1

While I loved this verse in my college days of spending summers in the Colorado Rockies, it first became a great encouragement to me when my husband and I were newlyweds and were in Guatemala City.  I was overwhelmed by the poverty that was so prevalent and by the crime and real danger we were exposed to there.  I found myself crying out to the Lord, "I don't know if I can live here!".  God gently reminded me to lift my eyes, not just to the beauty of the volcanoes and mountains surrounding the city (which were so easy to not see when overwhelmed by what we were seeing on the streets!), but to Him, my help.

A couple of years later, God redirected us to Costa Rica, and to language school in the capital city, San José, where at first my focus was too much on the barred windows, the high concrete walls, and razor wire surrounding each building.  It seemed scary, and definitely wasn't the physical beauty my heart longed for.  But, again, God reminded me of Psalm 121- to lift my eyes up, not just to the hint of a mountain I could see if I stood at just the right angle on our apartment's balcony, but up further to Him who promises to watch over me.  I had to choose what I was going to focus on - my overwhelming, unfamiliar surroundings, or my God who is my help. 

our well secured apartment building in San José, Costa Rica (that still got broken into!)

There might not always be beautiful mountains to bless our physical eyes, but we can always direct our spiritual eyes to Him.  I remember a couple of years after moving out of the city to our ministry location, I found myself back in downtown San José, with our daughter in the NICU, after she was born a month early... when the country was in a state of national emergency because of flooding and landslides (that morning, a landslide had blocked the road to the hospital... but that's a story for another day!).  While I stood next to her crib, I looked out the window of the NICU and panic filled me as I stared at the seemingly endless sprawl of corrugated metal roofs, trash, and run-down buildings.  I couldn't see any mountains - physical or figurative - to lift my eyes to!  My thoughts were quickly rushing towards fear and doubt about our decision to have our baby in a developing country.  I remember God's comfort, "Lift your eyes to Me, Sarah.  Your help comes from Me.  I am watching over you and your baby." 

I wish I could say that that memorable moment was a total turning point for me, because it was so significant in my process of accepting Costa Rica as my home... but, I still struggle with letting my surroundings and circumstances govern my feelings and focus.  We recently moved to a different house, and I've been feeling disoriented now that I can't see "my" mountain.  But, God is working on me, reminding me that the point of lifting my eyes to the hills isn't to just to be blessed by their beauty, but to be reminded of Him who is my true strength and help. 

As I post this, I'm praying for all of us - that we will be women who live with eyes lifted up to our Maker, whatever our surroundings and circumstances might be!

"He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will not slumber nor sleep.  The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." - Psalm 121:3-8

I would love to hear from you.  Is it hard to move your focus off of what is difficult about your current surroundings and on to God?  What has been encouraging you lately to live with eyes lifted up to Him? 

The Word became flesh...

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning." - John 1:1

As part of my personal Advent celebration, I've been daily reading a chapter from "Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus," a compilation of Advent readings, edited by Nancy Guthrie.

This quote from the second chapter immediately grabbed my attention, "When a person makes his home among people, he moves in with them.  He identifies with them.  The incarnation is the moving in of the eternal Word so that he utterly identifies with us in every way.  He took the whole nature of a human being, fully and totally identifying with all it means for us to be human..."  What first struck me was how amazing and how counter-intuitive the incarnation is!  Jesus is God, and He left His throne in heaven to become a human, humbling himself not only to man's body, but to a helpless baby's body, so that He could identify completely with us.  He chose to live a complete human life, from birth to childhood to adolescence to adulthood.  Jesus experienced everything we experience!  And, He came for us, to save us!

"He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him.  He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him.  Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." - John 1: 10-13

He lived a human life, in order to reveal Himself and His truth to us.  He lived a perfect life, so that His righteousness could be imputed to us.  He died for us so that our sin's penalty would be paid and we could be saved.  He conquered death, revealing His glory and giving us hope of eternity with Him.  God became man to give us the right to become His children, to His glory.

"The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.  We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." - John 1:14

This is the Christmas message.  It's so much bigger than a sweet baby boy born in a stable (and so, so much bigger than I can write in this post)!  The truth of the incarnation is incredible, and provides such an important springboard for talking about the gospel.  And, that's why we are where are, doing what we are doing, right?  To quote the book I am reading again, "When a person makes his home among people, he moves in with them.  He identifies with them."  The author was talking about God becoming flesh, but it struck me that that sentence describes missionaries, too!  We move to a foreign place and work to make a home among a new people.  We work to identify with them.  We live among them in order to reveal the truth of the gospel to them, to God's glory.  While this change and adjustment is so tiny compared to Jesus', it was very special to me to identify with Christ in this small way. 

I pray that this Christmas, we can stay focused on the true awesomeness of the incarnation.  I pray that as we decorate for Christmas, plan our Christmas programs and events, and celebrate with our families and communities, that we will keep in the forefront of our thoughts our purpose for being where we are - to live among the precious people God has called us to, so that they may know Him and worship Him.  I'm praying for opportunities to share this message with those who have not heard it, who do not believe it. 

"From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another.  For the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.  No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made Him known." - John 1:16-18

How have been encouraged spiritually so far this Christmas season?  How can we pray for your heart this month?

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Days like Thanksgiving can be hard for those of us serving overseas, far away from our families and without all of the resources to make the traditional Thanksgiving meal we grew up with.  It helps me to remind myself of some of the unique blessings I have because of the life of ministry we are living here in Costa Rica.  Here are my top ten:

1. Surrounded by natural beauty

Seriously, I so often look around and think, "I can't believe I live here!"  While we live real life here (and not the resort life some may associate with Costa Rica), we are blessed with daily views of God's amazing creation.  Whether it's in the breathtaking views of mountains and volcanoes I see just driving around town, or in the intricate details of the tropical flowers and birds in my garden, the natural beauty I witness here is awe-striking.

one of our favorite views in our Costa Rican hometown

2.   Good coffee and fresh produce

I was not a coffee drinker before moving to Costa Rica.  But, we live in a coffee town here; the coffee we drink is grown, harvested, dried and roasted here in our little town.  It's really, really good... and has converted me into a coffee lover.  We are also spoiled year-round with wonderful fresh fruit and vegetables from our farmer's market.  We might not have easy access to cranberries or pecans for today's Thanksgiving dinner, but the local fruit here always tastes so much more real (does that make sense?).  One time after taking a bite of pineapple in the States, our son scrunched up his face and said, "That is NOT piña!" (piña = pineapple)

our kids watching a local farmer dry his coffee beans

3.  Small town living

While it took some adjusting, I love living in a small, Costa Rican town.  I love that whenever I'm out running errands, I almost always run into someone I know.  I love that our kids (along with pretty much every other school kid in the whole town!) are in the Independence Day parade and that our son has been part of the town's yearly musical festival.  I love being able to walk to the stores, and I love sitting in our central park and people watching.  Life in a big city appeals to me, too, but I am thankful for our little town during this stage in our lives.

our daughter in our town's Independence Day parade

4.   Worshipping in a second language

One of my dreams when we moved here was that my Spanish would improve to a point where I could truly worship and commune with God in Spanish.  It's been a long process that included a lot of Sundays of standing outside the church building in the intense tropical sun, bouncing my crying baby in a sling (can you mamas relate?), or arriving home from church completely exhausted from the mental work of staying engaged in Spanish during the worship, sermon, and conversations.  But, now I feel that I can truly worship God in Spanish, and it gives such a precious glimpse of eternity worshipping Him with people from every nation and language.

worshipping with our church here

5.  Women's ministry

I love working together with some other women from our church to build up our women's ministry and to reach out to other women in our community.  I am blessed and challenged each week as I facilitate a women's Bible study and work to encourage and strengthen other women.  This ministry strongly pulls at my heart, and sharing my heart and life with these women is one of my main highlights of our life here in Costa Rica.

this year's women's conference - an outreach event to our community

6.  Life of adventure

I'm sure that this is true for you all, too; choosing to live in another country has opened us up to a life of adventure.  Whether it's going after a snake with a machete, or maintaining the constant battle with the ants, or tackling the red tape adventures of the immigration department, life is never without a new adventure here.  We also get to enjoy the adventure of exploring new places, learning a new language, and meeting new people. 

one of our favorite Costa Rican adventures - a hike to this turquoise river

7.  Kid-loving culture

One of my first impressions when we moved here with a baby was that Costa Ricans absolutely adore children!  Babies and children are usually the recipient of admiration and love wherever they go.  Especially during this stage of parenting little children, it is such a blessing to live in a culture where kids are so highly valued and loved.  Our kids are growing up far away from our families, but they have many Costa Rican "grandparents," "aunts," and "uncles."



our kids having fun with our pastor - one of their Costa Rican "uncles"

8.  Closeness as a family

Sharing in this adventure (with both its highs and lows!) together has made us grow closer as a couple and as a family.  Building a new life in a new country has strengthened us in ways that I don't think we would have experienced elsewhere.  Our kids have a very close relationship, maybe because, as third culture kids, there are few other kids their age that understand them as fully as their sibling does.

our little family in front of our home sweet Costa Rican home

9.  Changed perspective

My perspective has changed throughout our years living here.  I find myself being thankful more often for things that I used to take for granted.  Hearing the pelting rain on our metal roof six months of the year has led me to thank God for simply the roof over our heads more than I ever did before (even if there are several persistent leaks!).  The reality of frequent power outages and having water coming into our house from the street only certain hours of the day makes me so thankful when the light does turn on with the flip of a switch, or when water pours out of the faucet in more than a trickle.  Additionally, living in a more event-focused culture, rather than my native time-oriented culture, has taught me to slow down and invest more in what is truly important: relationships.

10.  New home

Something clicked after about two years living in Costa Rica, pretty soon after our daughter was born here.  This started to feel like home.  Now, four years later, this definitely feels like home... to the extent that I feel a little strange and out of place when we are visiting the States.  I don't quite "fit" there any more, but, at the same time, I don't completely "fit" here either.  I'm kind of a foreigner in either place!  This has led me to a greater understanding that my true home is in Christ, with the hope and promise of an eternal home with Him.

with the flag of our adopted earthly home

We all probably find ourselves this Thanksgiving at different places in our thankfulness about our host countries.  Some of you may still be in the honeymoon phase of feeling like everything is wonderful!  Others may be just out of that stage and in full-on culture shock, finding it hard to like anything, really.  And, still others may be in a place where you can more realistically see both the good and the challenges of where you live.  Whichever category you fit in, I'd encourage you today to list some of what you love about your host country and culture.  Count your blessings!

Would you share with us some of your favorite things about where you live and serve?  Or, even do a similar top ten list and leave a link to your blog in the comments?  

 

Fall Recipes: my favorite pumpkin cake

Yesterday, I shared with you about my love for fall, and gave a hint of my love for pumpkin.  I have to admit... if there is any food that I'm obsessed with, it's pumpkin.  When I was pregnant with our first child (and still living in the States), I craved pumpkin like crazy and spent hours baking and cooking everything I could think of -- pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin granola, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin pecan pie -- the list was endless! 

Then, we moved to Costa Rica, where it's pretty much impossible to get pumpkin except from a can at the upscale grocery store in the capital city.  When we first moved to this little coffee town in the mountains, I learned that pureed carrots can be a good substitute in a lot of recipes... and carrots, I'm sure, are more common than pumpkin in a lot of countries (so, if you can't get a hold of pumpkin where you are, try this recipe with cooked and pureed carrots!).  Now, friends occasionally bring us down cans of pumpkin, or we splurge on buying some while shopping in the capital, so I still indulge in some of my favorite pumpkin recipes every fall. 

In honor of my favorite season, I'm sharing with you my favorite (and very simple) pumpkin cake recipe!  Our daughter has requested it for her birthday cake for as long as she could talk - a girl after my own heart! 

2nd birthday

3rd birthday

A couple of disclaimers:

- This is not one of those "healthy" recipes you can find on Pinterest.  I have tried various substitutions at times to attempt to make it somewhat healthier, and I'm including those suggestions in parentheses.  But, I prefer the original, lots of oil and sugar version... so, maybe try that first!

- I don't remember where I originally got this recipe, and I don't follow recipes closely when baking, so all of these measurements can vary!

Pumpkin Cake with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients for Cake:

- 4 eggs
- 1 cup vegetable oil (you could substitute applesauce for this)
- 1 1/3 cups granulated sugar (you can decrease the sugar, especially if using applesauce for the oil)
- 15oz. can of pumpkin (you can substitute 1 3/4 to 2 cups pureed carrots in place of pumpkin)
- 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour (or 1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour)
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon baking soda

Ingredients for Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting:

- 4oz. cream cheese, softened
- 1/4 cup butter, softened
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar (I never measure this, so this is an approximation)
- cinnamon to taste (again, I've never measured this)

Directions:

- Preheat oven to 350F.

- Combine eggs, sugar, oil, and pumpkin with an electric mixer at a medium speed, until ingredients are light and fluffy.  In a separate bowl, stir together the rest of the dry ingredients.  Add this to the pumpkin mixture and mix at a low speed until thoroughly combined and smooth.  Spread the batter into a greased 13 by 10in. baking pan or lined muffin tins.  Bake for 30 minutes, and allow to cool completely before frosting.

- To make the frosting, beat together cream cheese, butter and vanilla with an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy.  Gradually beat in powdered sugar until it reaches your desired consistency and taste.  Beat in cinnamon to taste. 

I hope you enjoy this simple, fall recipe.  Please share your favorite fall recipes here! 

Homesick for Fall

I absolutely love fall.  I love the cooler weather and crisp air, the colorful leaves, wearing boots and scarves, sipping apple cider or homemade soups... and consuming all things pumpkin.  But, living here in the tropics means that we really only experience fall through Facebook photos of friends' kids at the pumpkin patch or frolicking in leaf piles.  Throughout our six years in Costa Rica, the months of October and November are always my most homesick times.  Over the years, I've learned to adapt and make the most of these months being the rainiest months here; I can kind of pretend that the slightly cooler temperatures feel like fall (I actually wore jeans for a full day this week without feeling hot once!). 

When we were newly arrived missionaries still in language school, I was having a hard time with not being able to take our baby to the pumpkin patch, so I posted a "tropical version" of the optimal fall photo shoot:

October 2008 - our first "fall" in the tropics

 A few years ago, we were back in the States on furlough in the fall and it was glorious!  Since then, when there is an especially cool day during our rainy season, I try to do some fall activities to ease my homesickness for fall, and the kids love remembering their special time in the fall in the States.  The kids and I throw and jump in cloth leaves in the living room, or walk down to the mango grove at the end of our street and hear the crunch of the dead leaves under our feet.  We roast vegetables and drink hot tea and, now that I'm acclimated to the tropical heat, I'll even pull out a pair of boots and a light scarf on the coolest of evenings.   

The longer we've lived here, the more and more rice and black beans we eat, but when it's fall in the States, I want to make (and eat!) fall-ish food.  Last week, an American team blessed me and a sweet Costa Rican friend with a fun trip to the capital city here, where they took us to Starbucks (isn't that funny that there is a Starbucks even here, in the land of coffee?).  They bought us pumpkin spice lattes and it was like balm to my homesick heart.  As I sipped what they referred to as "fall in a cup," I was surprised about how something as simple as a pumpkin-y drink could make me feel at home and blessed.  And, sharing something so simple with one of my closest Costa Rican friends, who knew of my recent homesickness, made a sweet connection between my life in the States and my life here. 

We're not quite dressed for fall, but we'll take what we can get!

Are you feeling homesick these days?  While, of course, we want to spend the majority of our efforts on adapting to and learning about our host cultures, I would encourage you to sometimes enjoy some of your home culture, too.  This will probably look different for each of us... for me, in the fall months, at least, it means lots and lots of baking.  So, tomorrow come back here to get my favorite fall pumpkin recipe! 

I would love to hear from you in the comment section today!  Do you have fall where you live?  If so, what fall traditions does your host culture have?  If not, what fall traditions do you still enjoy in spite of not having fall weather? 

Come back tomorrow for my favorite recipe, and to share your favorite fall recipe in the comments!

not alone

As I sit down to write this post, my heart feels burdened thinking of you ladies serving all over the world.  You're balancing marriage, parenting, housework, ministry, language learning, support raising/maintaining, cultural adaptation, and oh so many other things as you strive to grow in your personal walk with God.  Many of you are likely walking through hard seasons -- seasons with unexpected challenges or uncertainties, perhaps seasons of poor health, of challenges in your marriage, of worrying about your kids, of struggling with the language or culture of your host country.  You may be feeling incredibly lonely or you may be discouraged by the progress of your ministry.  You might be feeling overwhelmed with busyness or you may be wondering if you are doing enough.  Your relationship with God may be feeling distant as many cares and worries come close to consuming you.  Maybe you are struggling with feelings of doubt as what you had expected life and ministry to look like isn't what is happening in this season.

Ladies, as I said, my heart is burdened thinking of you.  I want to share that I have felt, in different seasons, each and every one of the challenges I've listed above.  There have even been seasons in which it seems that I am experiencing them all at the same time!  If you are feeling this way, you are not alone.  This past weekend, I sat in a café with a dear Costa Rican friend, a pastor's wife, who was sharing many of these same feelings with me.  With tears in our eyes, we shared these struggles that are so common for women in ministry.  And, it was good to know that we weren't the only one that had these struggles.  It was good to share our hearts with each other and to mutually encourage each other.  My prayer is that each of you can find someone to share with if you are struggling.  Maybe you could even share here with us so we can join together in praying for you? 

And, mis hermanas ("my sisters", as the ladies of our church call each other here), can I remind you another way that you are not alone?  God is with you.  He is for you!  Nothing - absolutely nothing - can separate you from Him and His love for you (Romans 8: 38-39).  He knows all of your weaknesses and struggles and still He loves you without fail. 

The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.

- Zephaniah 3:17

So, this is my prayer for each woman reading this today, that you would know that you are not alone, that God is with you and that He delights in you!  I pray that His love would quiet you and bring you peace in the midst of whatever struggles you are facing.  I pray that you would hear Him rejoicing over you with singing. 

Are you going through a season of discouragement right now?  How can we be praying for you? 

Sounds of Home

We just recently returned to Costa Rica after an unexpected 4-month furlough in the States.  We experienced winter for the first time in many years, and lived with my parents out in the country.  Throughout our time there, I was struck with how quiet it was.  With central heat and all the windows closed, I heard nothing coming from outside the house, which is so very different from our experience in our home in Costa Rica.  Here, our windows are always open, trying to stay cool in the hot tropical weather.  The result is that, after six years of living in Costa Rica, I have a whole set of sounds that have become the sounds of home.  Since returning after our furlough, I have realized how sweet these sounds have become to me.  Many of them were once unfamiliar (some of them even annoying!), but now they mean home to me.  Now that we're home again, I'm daily hearing...

rain on our metal roof
children's giggles echoing off our concrete walls
roosters crowing as the day dawns
cows mooing as they walk past our backyard
"upe!" at our gate as a friend stops by to visit
pitter pattering of little feet on our tile floors
whirring of our pump bringing water into our house from the reserve tanks
tropical birds' songs from the orange tree in our garden
a 6 year old's voice reciting the Spanish syllables he's learning to read in school
a 3 year's old's voice singing a Spanish worship song
scrapping of an iguana's claws making its way across our roof
thump-thumping of the iguana who's found its way into our attic
motorbikes without mufflers speeding past our house
tea kettle whistling in the kitchen
a gecko chirping from its perch on the wall above our bed
metal gates clanging as neighbors come and go
taxis honking in the street
a friend's machete hacking at dead branches in our yard
announcements from the loudspeakers driving by selling everything imaginable
the gentle, flowing sound of Spanish on our porch during Bible studies and classes

It's good to be home.

Now, I'd love to hear from you!  What sounds mean home to you now? 

I'll be home for Christmas...

... home, in Costa Rica. 

We'll be here, just the four of us, for Christmas this year. I've been feeling nostalgic and homesick for the States the past couple of days. When I'm missing our family there, my mind can wander to a scene of what it would be like if we were there with them.  I see candles glowing, stockings hanging, fire burning, family laughing, snow falling, grandparents and my little ones snuggling. A mist of tears drowns this scene, and as I wipe them away, my eyes and ears are opened to the scene surrounding me here.

I see a sweet newborn babe's newly discovered smile, a big open-mouthed grin, as she gazes up at me...

I hear our tea kettle whistling, even though it's sunny and 75 degrees outside...

I see the glistening reflection in our tile floor of the twinkling lights of our cyprus Christmas tree...

I hear a precious, clear, 2 year old voice singing "Away in the Manger" as he plays with his little paper and plastic nativity scene...

My heart is lifted, a smile comes, and my spirit rejoices.

I'm home.

I'll be home for Christmas. In Costa Rica.

Then, my now thankful eyes fall on yet another scene, the simple nativity in the center of our table. I think of Jesus. My King. My God who left His home, the glory of heaven, to redeem me, to give me an eternal home. With Him.

And, my heart is truly home. In Jesus.

I'll be home for Christmas.

O holy Child of Bethlehem!
Descend to us, we pray;
Cast out our sins and enter in,
Be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels
The great, glad tidings tell,
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel!

This is a 2010 post copied from my personal blog.  Now, three years later, Costa Rica is home to us, but we plan to be in the States for Christmas and I am anticipating missing Christmas in Costa Rica - the smell of the cyprus tree, Spanish Christmas carols, tamales on Christmas Eve, worship with our church family...  I'm praying for myself, and all of you, that we will find our joy, hope, and home in Jesus this Christmas! 

Where will you be this Christmas?  How is God encouraging you as you may feel far from home, loved ones, and special traditions?

Happy Mother's Day!

Wait... what?  I'm sure you're thinking that I am a few months late, but here in Costa Rica, today is Mother's Day!  It has become our family's tradition to celebrate our mothers on the US Mother's Day and reserve the Costa Rican Mother's Day for me.  Works out well!  It is a big deal here.  Businesses and schools are closed so that extended families can get together.  Our church youth group even goes from house to house the night of Mother's Day serenading all the mothers in the congregation!

with my two sweeties today, celebrating Costa Rican Mother's Day

I have lived in Costa Rica as long as I have been a mother and so my experience of motherhood is totally wrapped up in the Latin culture, and, yet, my American-ness often sets me apart in little things - how I dress my kids (I learned quickly that even though it was crazy hot out, the baby MUST have socks on), when I bathe them (my friends think it is so weird that we bathe the kids at night), how we discipline them (disciplining here often doesn't start until the kids are school age), that we have a schedule (not the norm here for sure), etc.  But, I have so enjoyed how motherhood opens the door to friendships and sharing life together, and I count myself blessed to be able to learn, especially from the fellow believers among my Tica (Costa Rican) friends. 

with precious older friends I have learned from and shared life with for the past four years

In honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to share a journal entry I wrote on Costa Rican Mother's Day in 2009, when I experienced a Mother's Day celebration with our new church for the first time:

"I love events like this that give me a window into the culture in which we live...  We were supposed to share about the birth of our first child (all 20 of us! It took a LONG time!).  Through this, I learned that Ticas - and probably Latinas in general - have a flair for dramatic storytelling.  As the women told their stories, there was a lot of "Ay, yo sufrí muchísimo!" (Oh, I suffered so much!).  I've noticed this before: when Ticas get together, they talk about their kids' births... and when they talk about pregnancy and labor, they like to emphasize the pain!  But, it is interesting; I don't get the impression that they are trying to exaggerate or to "one-up" each other.  They just genuinely all enjoy telling and listening to dramatic stories!  Several women even stood up and told their stories with great gestures and facial expressions; they are true storytellers!

The stories seemed to escalating in dramatics until one of my friends reminded us that there was a girl there who is expecting her first baby next month.  The poor girl, who is still a teenager, was sitting there with huge eyes, looking a little terrified.  Fortunately, the next lady who spoke is very sweet, and she redeemed the whole situation by acknowledging that, yes, labor hurts, but when it's over and the doctor hands you your precious little baby (and here she paused to crook her arm as if she was holding a baby and looked down at this imaginary baby with an adoring, angelic look on her face), you'll be overwhelmed by God's gift to you.  You'll say "¿Es mío? ¡Que bendición!  ¡Que responsibilidad!" (Is he mine?  What a blessing!  What a responsibility!). 

As I looked at my friend's sweet face glowing with the remembrance of her feelings at her children's births, and as my heart related to hers, I realized that in spite of cultural differences, there are some things that unite women all around the world.  The joy, the challenges, the sweetness, and the responsibility of motherhood is a common factor to all women with children.  And, as I thought about that, I didn't feel like the only gringa (foreigner, from the USA) there anymore; I just felt like one of the women in this group of mothers who love the Lord, and who are thankful for the children He has blessed them with.  Praise the Lord!" 

with my dear friend, who I now call my mamá tica (Costa Rican mom)

Since that day four years ago, my friendships with these women have grown and we have truly shared life together.  We consult each other as mom friends do.  We learn from our different ways of doing things and can pick and choose the best of both cultures.  The women in these photos represent the Tica friends who have loved our kids and supported me as a mom through the majority of our time living here.  Some of them are older than me; they are the ones who encourage me to focus on the blessing of my kids and the ministry I have in being their mom.  Others, like our pastor's wife below, are in the same stage of babies, toddlers and preschoolers that I am in; we are walking through the adventure of motherhood together!  I am so thankful for the richness that these cross-cultural friendships bring to motherhood for me.

with my kindred spirit and pastor's wife at this year's Mother's Day church celebration

Is Mother's Day celebrated in your host country?  How is it celebrated?  Has motherhood given you the opportunity to go deep in conversations and friendships with local women? 
 

Online Friends

Hello from Costa Rica!  I love thinking of women in different countries all over the world reading this blog and hopefully gaining encouragement from the thoughts posted by other missionary women!  I remember first finding Ashley's blog Missionary Moms when we were relatively new on the mission field.  Reading the posts there helped me so much, knowing that a lot of what I was experiencing and feeling must be normal, because there were other women around the world experiencing and feeling the same things!  And, I love that Phyllis started this blog last year to continue that encouragement and blessing to missionary moms. 

While I have absolutely loved reading the posts on both of these blogs, it took me a long time to actually start commenting or being very active in the community provided here.  As I began to interact more with the community here, I was so blessed to start to feel like I was really interacting with these women and becoming friends!  While I still very much prefer face to face, heart to heart talks over a good cup of tea (really, here in Costa Rica, that should be a cup of coffee), I am thankful for the opportunity to learn more of what missionary life is like for women in different settings and cultures.  I love getting to know you all! 

A couple of weeks ago, I had the blessing of meeting one of these friends face to face.  From this blog, I learned that another contributor, Liz, also lived in Costa Rica.  In fact, my husband and I had even been to the camp her husband works at!  As we began to interact with each other online, we realized that we also had gone to the same language school, that she knew some of my teammates, and that our kids were relatively the same ages.  After several months of writing each other back and forth, we finally got together in person!  She and her family graciously drove all the way from their cool home in the mountains of the province of Heredia to endure a day of heat in our little coffee town in the province of Alajuela.  We enjoyed a lunch together and our boys had a blast playing with Legos on our front porch.  I loved that she jumped right in working with me in the kitchen and sharing mommy hearts and our experiences raising kids here.  It was so fun to meet an online friend in real life!  We're looking forward to getting together again!

Liz and I meeting in person

As Liz and I were talking, we wondered if there other missionary women in Costa Rica reading this blog.  If so, we'd love to meet you!  Also, we wondered if there were other women in other countries that could maybe meet through this blog and meet each other in person.  How cool would it be if this blog brought together real life communities of friends in various countries?! 

So, in the comments, please - whoever is reading this (even if you don't usually comment!) - let us know your names and where you are serving, if that is ok to make known online.  Maybe we'll find some new friends!  Also, does anyone have a fun story of meeting an online friend in real life?