Friendships

True friends

(Re-posted from http://tryingtoclearmymuddledthoughts.blogspot.com)

*Each friend brings their own identity to the relationship.

*Friends support one another rather than acting as a care takers.

*A true friend honors each friend’s friendship with others.

*A true friend encourages their friend to become the person God wants them to be.

*A true friend views differences as gifts rather than annoyances.

*True friends are honest and truthful.  They want the best for their friend.  While they may need to share hard truths at times, they share humbly in view of their own problems with sin, in order for the other person to grow.

*A true friend will encourage another, without manipulating for their own self interest.

*A true friendship honors and respects the boundaries of each other.

*In a true friendship, wise communication and trust are necessary;  avoiding  gossip, criticism, competitiveness, jealousy, etc.

*A true friend forgives.  Being bitter and keeping a record of wrongs will not be the mark of a true friend.

*True friends have conflicts, but each are willing to take responsibility for their roles, instead of blaming others.

*A true friendship will respect and understand differences of opinion, and allows others to make their own decisions.

*True friends will honor, encourage, and love each other.

*A true friend will give you time and space that you need.  They will give you time to pause and reflect before responding.  They won’t interrupt or pressure you.  They will also allow you to choose not to respond without hard feelings.

*A true friend will avoid lying about themselves, their friends, or any circumstances or conflicts they find themselves in.

*In a true friendship, both parties treat each other as they would want to be treated, are quick to apologize and/or to extend forgiveness.

What do you think are the marks of a true friend? What would you add to this list?  Do you think you are a good friend?  In what ways do you think you can improve?

Time Management Tips for Missionary Moms

Do you feel that you are a good manager of your time? Are you able to do your regular and necessary activities with enough reserves to cope temporarily with an emergency or with a challenging situation?  Or do you find yourself just struggling to do keep your normal schedule

Tips for time management:

Stay grounded in God’s word –read, memorize, review and remember helpful verses that can guide your day.

Pray.  Remember that this day is to be used for the Lord.  Even interruptions and change of plans can be used for the Lord!

Use the talents and gifts that God has given you – appreciate and use those special abilities that God has for your ministry.

Make Lists – The most important is my to-do list. When I make my meal plans for the week, I also make my shopping list for groceries.  I also have lists for packing for travel, future plans, etc.

Prioritize today’s to-do list – what must be done today, what needs to be done today or in the next few days, what can be done in the future

Be productive while waiting – use the usual idle time to complete a task.  File your nails while talking on the phone.  Do the dishes or load the dishwasher while listening to a program. 

Spend 20 minutes daily on a chore.  Doing a little bit every day keeps the chores from becoming overwhelming on a Saturday or a day off.

Menu planning.  Plan what you are going to have for meals each week and plan your grocery shopping at the same time.  After one day’s dinner is served, eaten and cleaned up, get ready for your next day’s meal.  Take out meat or frozen food to thaw and make sure you have all the ingredients for the main course and the sides.

Take care of yourself.  Exercise.  Eat right.  Take your vitamins.  Get enough sleep.  There is nothing like feeling unenergetic, run down and tired to feel that you can’t manage your time!

What is your biggest struggle in managing your time?   What have you found that helps you to be a good manager of your time?

A lamp to my feet and a light to my path

Psalm 119:24  Your testimonies are my delight;    they are my counselors.

As missionary moms, we definitely need to fit the reading of God’s Word in to our busy days.  Before we became missionaries, I was “hit or miss” when it came to daily devotions.   Hard to admit, but even early on in our missionary career, it was hard to find the time!  But in the past few years I have sensed my need for feeding on God’s word, really desiring the wisdom and knowledge that comes through reading His word.  It has become so much a part of my daily schedule now, that it is something that I can’t leave out of my day!

I really feel that the past two years we have been in a spiritual battle.  We were worn out from family issues, mission field issues, support issues, and just getting through everyday life - everything was trying to drag us down.  The bright spot in my days became my “quiet time,” spending time with the Lord, listening to His wisdom and guidance, and praying for His will to be done.

Here are some thoughts to remember in order to make reading God’s word a priority. Some of my thoughts are taken from reading, “Life Management for Busy Women” by one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth George.

-   *   First things first –We need time in God’s word and in prayer.  If it is not first on your plan for the day, this should be on your schedule to be done at some time during the day!  For myself, I read a small portion in the morning and another portion in the evening, and then have my prayer time.  So far it has been working for me!  The most important thing is to plan to do it and then do it.

-   *   When we daily devote ourselves and our time to God, we are tapping into God’s power and strength for the day.   We want to hear God’s heart, we want to glorify God with our lives and service. 

-    *  We are being equipped for the work and ministry God has for us.   Before going out into the world, we need to be prepared spiritually by being in God’s word.

-     *  Whether we are out and about meeting people, sharing God’s love, helping in practical ways, or perhaps we are home with our children, homeschooling, caring for them, loving them, we need to be spiritually prepared for the day . 

-      *   We need spiritual food as much as or more than physical food.   If we go through the day without eating a meal, we will become physically weak, and the same can be said about going through the day without spiritual nourishment!

-     *     We need to be woman of one book – the Bible.  While enjoying reading Christian fiction and Christian living books, we need to remember to read what honors and glorifies Him, and to put reading the Bible before reading anything else.

-       *  Since we serve our risen Savior, it may mean that there will be demands in our day that are more than others  have to experience.  If we are not not daily nourished by God’s word, we will start to feel like there is not enough of us to go around, and that’s when we start to feel frazzled and frenzied.

-      *  Really read the Word of God!  Dive into it – learn it, memorize it, apply it to your life, and be ready to share it with others!

Psalm 119:11  I have stored up your word in my heart,    that I might not sin against you.

What do you do for your devotions and personal Bible study?  What works for you?  What are you studying and learning right now?

I'm Karen, serving with my family in Odessa, Ukraine.   Please visit my blog at http://tryingtoclearmymuddledthoughts.blogspot.com/

When the old is new again

Since we returned to the field in June of this year, we have had to adjust, or re-adjust to life here. 

Though we live in the same apartment as before, we have to get acclimated again to the living conditions here – dust, noise, and when it rains, a lot of sticky mud.  A new playground was put in near our apartment building, which is nice, but it is quite noisy during the day and into the evening. 

Transportation – much more walking, crowded buses, crazy drivers.  I don’t mind walking more, but the crowded buses in the summer really get to me.  It’s always hotter on the bus, and there are still plenty of people who do not wear deodorant!

Language - Russian and Ukrainian is everywhere, along with dried fish, but that is for another post!  Thankfully we understand most of what is said to us and we usually know how to answer. 

We are currently looking for a new church where we will worship and minister.   This summer we are visiting different churches.  We usually need to decide on Saturday evening where we will go so that on Sunday morning we leave in time to get there.  It will be nice once we make our decision!

Visas and registration.  These are ongoing issues, not just for us, but all foreigners here.   It has made planning beyond August of this year very difficult.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4  ESV

Ideas on how to adjust

-Give your family and yourself room to make mistakes.  We tend to be perfectionists, wanting to appear to know the right thing to do and then doing it.  Admitting that we do not know what to do in a certain situation just means that we are human!  Give each other room to grow and when a mistake happens, be understanding and give each other a hug!

-Take everything to God and lean on Him in prayer.   As ministry workers, we know this, but do we really do this?  I know that I tend to want control, or at the very least, would like to know what is going to happen!  I need to just trust God, that He knows what is best.

-Don’t isolate yourself.   I tend to want to hibernate and keep to myself when I feel my adjustment phase is not going very well.  Sometimes it is better to get around others who understand and  are supportive, as they may be dealing with some adjustments as well.

-Think of someone else who may need encouragement.  This goes with not isolating yourself.  You may find that sharing your struggles encourages someone else who is going through similar adjustments.

-Take care of your needs for rest, good nutrition, exercise.   If you are tired and run-down, the adjustment phase will be harder to get through. 

-Laugh!  Watch a comedy or play a fun game if all else fails.  Sometimes it is good to laugh at your mistakes, especially those wonderful language errors.   J

There is also hope – this adjustment phase will pass, and we will feel more at home here. 

What are some adjustments or re-adjustments that you have had to make?  What has helped you to get through the adjustment phases?

I'm Karen, serving with my family in Odessa, Ukraine.   Please visit my blog at http://tryingtoclearmymuddledthoughts.blogspot.com/