Monday, April 14, 2014

Letting go

Holding my then toddler son, I asked a mom of a teenager how she "let go" of her children as they grew up. With no hesitation she said, "letting go is God's process of our children growing up. It's a natural growing apart. If you hold on too tight then your children will not be allowed to grow properly into adulthood." I hugged my son tighter and said, "I'm so happy I don't have to face that right now."  

Oh, how time flies, doesn't it?  My "toddler" is now 21 years old. 

May 2012 - graduation night. (This Mama was holding on tight to that boy's arm.) 

Christmas 2013 - Antrim Family L to R - Jordan (21), Dale, Cherie, Ashleigh (17), Kaia (4)

This process of letting go hasn't been easy and, to be honest, it's not finished. Over the years I have been in denial of the process, embraced the process and I have seen how God's plan is true and right. My husband and I still have our moments of looking back on the pictures and wanting to hang on tight ... like how my arms ache to hold them as babies again. The right thing to do is let them fly. 

They can soar much higher without us tethered to them. 

Just recently I realized how true that is when Jordan called needing money. For the past year and a half he's been in a Master's Commission program in Stuttgart, Germany. Tuition is raised through family, friends, car washes, jobs, etc. Funds began to run low and he was faced with having to leave the program or come up with 700 euro. Jordan called worried, crying and questioning God. My first instinct was to protect and fix .... and then I realized I didn't have 700 euro so I cried with him and pointed him to the Word. I'm not his provider. Very hard lesson to learn. During this time my husband had an intimate conversation with Jordan where he shared that very thought ... we are no longer his provider. They talked, shared, cried a little more and prayed. Later, Jordan shared with me how he began to search the Word regarding finances. Jordan received a new revelation about finances, giving and tithing. God began to show Himself faithful and true over the next few weeks. It was an amazing process to witness. Money began coming in from unlikely sources. People who didn't even know him gave because they heard of the need. Envelopes of cash began showing up in the mail. God has proved Himself over and over in the last few months. He never had to leave the program and will be graduating in June. 

4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.   Deuteronomy 32:4 

I sometimes think, "What if I would have been able to pay the bill?"  I can't help but thank God for allowing Jordan to experience His faithfulness and goodness. Nothing compares. 

There's such a peace when we let go and hand our children over to God. Our realizing that we were never meant to be their provider, savior, or deliverer is freeing. 

If you have little ones, I encourage you to squeeze those babies a bit tighter today. Enjoy each day. Take lots of pictures. Make memories. Trust God. let go and watch them soar.

Has living overseas made "letting go" easier or harder for you? 


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