From Rebecca: Are there any moms on the mission field struggling with being stay home moms and housekeepers most of the time? Any recommendations on how to deal with this situation?
This is a good question, and it reminded me of this older article: Called Overseas to Cook and Clean? Are there any others on this topic from the archives that we should revisit?
(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)
My kids are older now and back in the US for college, but I remember those days when I was mostly home with them! Here are some tips:
ReplyDelete1. Learn the language. I had classes three times a week with my language tutor, and my kids had class twice a week. It helped to get me out of the house and using my brain.
2. Household help. This was absolutely necessary, especially the first few years! I'd come home from language study and supper would be ready and the apartment clean! I only had her help two days a week, but with getting used to living here and language study and then homeschooling on top of it, this was a lifesaver!
3. Realize that this is the season you are in. Now my kids are in college or working far far away. That season of life when I felt like they were my whole life is gone. Now I'm in a different season, and it is just as hard to get used to!
Hope this helps! :)
I think sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and not put unrealistic expectations on ourselves just because we're cross-cultural servants. I'm in a season (homeschooling a 9th grader and an 11th grader) where h omeschool needs more attention from me than it did 3 or 4 years ago with upper elementary and middle school.. And that just has to be okay for now. I know that in one and a half years, I'll just have one left at home.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and kids are my first priority, and beyond that I do what I can ministry-wise. It tends to go in spurts. Some weeks busier outside the home, some weeks more focused at home. I tell myself that really my life is not so different than it would if I were living in America. And my role as a mom doesn't change just because I'm serving in Turkey. That's my approach, but I respect other women who think differently!
It's taken me awhile to come to this realisation myself... that for this season of my life (with an almost 2 year-old and a baby on the way), my family is my most important ministry. I've felt that I need to have some other ministry in order to be accepted by our supporters, but in reality they think it's great that family is my ministry for this season. Everything else is secondary, and that's ok for now. Also, through serving in our home, God has provided opportunities for hospitality and other things I would never have thought of for ministry.
ReplyDeleteThanks Phyllis for posting the question for me. Thanks so much for the advice and tips. It has been 1.5 yrs since we moved from the States to Asia with two young kids (4 & 2), and it has been tough. You are right, I may not be realistic with the role of what I can be when serving overseas. The housekeeping part has been driving me nuts as I don't have help =( I always think I am not gifted of being a stay home mom, but I am praying that God will change my heart that my family will be my ministry at this season in time. I am so encouraged by all the posts here in the blog and I learn a lot of tips here, thank you!
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