I've heard people say before that missionaries are making sacrifices. Missionary kids, even more so. Oh, those poor missionary kids. I recently read this quote by David Livingston, "If a commission by an earthly king is considered an honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice." Yes, my kids live 13,000 miles away from their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. But we are exactly where God wants us. I remember when I first told my dad that I was dating a man that had been called to Australia's Outback. I asked him what he thought. He said, "I would rather you live in the middle of Australia's Outback in God's will, then live next door out of God's will."
Some days it is difficult to not have family living close by, to not go to Cracker Barrel with my dad and brothers Sunday after church, or run to Wal-Mart and get everything you need in one trip. But, oh how the blessings outweigh those little conveniences! My kids have seen more of this world in the last few years than most adults have seen in their entire lifetime. They have opportunities everyday to serve the Lord and serve others. I do not want my children to feel special because they are missionary kids, I want them to feel honored that God chose us. I've met some grown missionary children that have a sense of entitlement, like we owe them something. This may be because people were constantly telling them how much they had to give up, and how sorry they were for them to have to grow up on foreign soil. Not all missionary kids are like this, but I have met some that are.
I want my children to grow up with a desire to serve the Lord, whether we were living in America or here in Australia. We were given a special call to come here to Australia, we are blessed. There are children here in Australia that have lived here their entire lives. No one thinks they're making a great sacrifice. What sacrifices did we make to come here? To live the American dream? Well, we're living the Australian dream! The Lord has blessed us with a nice home, my kids each have their own rooms (something they didn't have in the states, they shared a room), we have a nice Jeep (something my husband loves), and we have a dog (another thing we didn't have in the states). So, if anything we were sacrificing while living in the states! I am blessed. My kids are blessed. God has been so very good to us. 
So, I said all this to say this...don't feel so sorry for my kids...be jealous! Ha! Just kidding, well, a little. :) Seriously, my kids do miss their friends and family. They get homesick. I get homesick. But like Paul said in I Timothy 1:12, "And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry." The times I do get homesick, I think of Heaven. What a short time we get here on earth to spend serving the Lord and "sacrificing" for Him, but I will get all eternity to worship God and spend with my family in Heaven. It's only a brief moment in time we have here on earth, and I pray my life will be used to further the Kingdom of Heaven for His name's sake.
Do you feel you are sacrificing, dear missionary friend, or do you feel blessed?
Absolutely I feel blessed! I feel that my children will grow up with a completely different and broader worldview than I did as a child. The only thing I'm dreading is possibly having them want to move thousands of miles away from me when they are grown :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I completely agree with being in the center of God's will. It's the safest place we can be, and parents of missionaries who grasp this vision will be able to be a blessing to their missionary children.
I go through phases of feeling blessed and struggling. Keeping the eternal perspective mentioned at the end is the essential for me in getting through these times. Most recently I have been struggling with sacrificing the "sense of home" for my kids. What I mean by that, is I really enjoy being able to go back to where I grew up and spend time with my parents, 8 siblings and their families. There's a sense of grounding of where I'm from and comfort in knowing that I'm always welcome there. My kids won't have that like I've had. Most likely they won't be able to go back and see the places and houses they've grown up in. (2 islands in my 5 year old's life already, and I'm sure more to come.) When they are grown and have their families, their parents (me) will likely be in yet another part of the world and may or may not be able to visit. Obviously our lives are in the Lord's hands and I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that we have a calling to be "sent out". This comes after spending two months in the US with my extended family. Don't know if this resonates with any of you, but something that I've been giving back to the Lord a lot recently. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
ReplyDeletethat was me above, not sure why it posted as test - Alicia
DeleteI understand. I have those thoughts too, but I like to keep in mind the song, This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. :) I also think of the military families who have to constantly move, at least we have a Greater purpose. Not to say the military doesn't, hope that doesn't come across wrong. :)
DeleteYour title caught my eye and I really enjoyed this post. You are fortunate that you are in a country where the language is the same, I'm sure you have other struggles, cultural differences, missing home and family, as you mention.
ReplyDeleteLike Alicia above, I go back and forth between struggling and feeling blessed!
My kids struggled for two or three years to learn a DIFFICULT new language, and sometimes it was hard to watch. They have been rejected for their faith in our Muslim country. And being a TCK was much easier when they were elementary age than now that they're in high school. There aren't too many foreign families with high schoolers here because it is not easy for the kids.
All that said, I trust the Lord that HE WILL BLESS my kids, and I see he always does. I know they are growing up richer for their middle Eastern experience. They get to rub shoulders with national believers who've been kicked out of their homes for the gospel. It's a privilege to serve here.
My kids definitely missed out on things in the US, but they had some great blessings and experience that they wouldn't have had otherwise. Visiting different countries, taking guitar and piano, having friends all over the world, etc. Our oldest sees his most of his overseas growing up years as a negative, because he didn't get his drivers permit at 15, experience American public school, and a p/t job at 16. He's doing great in many ways now that he's almost 21 - has his own car, a full time job, still enjoys music. He is far from the Lord right now, however.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question, I think I feel both! I think I feel mostly blessed considering we are at an easy place right now and my kids are truly happy and enjoy their life. My kids have grown up with Russia as their home but are still too young to really realize what life in the US would be like thus to latch on to any things that they are missing out on. I personally mourn being close to our very close-knit family in the States. If we were not here, they would see their grandparents, aunt and uncles, cousins...their favorite people on the earth, every week. But, I am so so grateful for the broader world view, the adventure, the privileged of learning a 2nd language so young, the joy of serving God together here, the benefit of knowing how to make friends different than you and even the benefit of knowing what it is like to feel different and thus empathize with others feeling this way.... so many things. I do feel sad though that their closest friends will soon be moving back to the US and simply will not be able to be replaced. We do have significantly less in the material sense than we could have in the US, but even that I have grown to feel more of a perk than a loss. I think I could go back and forth all day about the pros and cons of mk life from my personal point of view, but like everyone has said, if it is the Lord's will, it is GOOD for my children.
ReplyDeleteYep, I am in the both camp as well. There are so many things about this life I love for my kids. And yet, I can already see the distant and life experiences putting a space between cousins and friend. My kids at 5 and almost 4 have experienced so many things that their cousins never will, and when they talk about it to them, the blank looks have already started. But I am so thankful my boys will understand that God is working all over the world, that they will watch godly men and women of Latin America as they grow up. I am so grateful they will grow up bilingual(so not even fair as I struggle everyday to sound like a little child!) And I thankful that they are called to this work too. But that doesn't change the hardness of leaving family and moving to Central America. So yes, both:)
ReplyDeleteI really don't feel like my children and I are missing out on anything. I love this life, and I hope they will, too.
ReplyDeleteThe "sense of home" that Alicia mentioned is important, though. I hope that my children will learn how to create that wherever they end up. They are close to each other now, and of course that's something I want to nurture; I like to think that just gathering together somewhere someday would be something like what you're talking about for them.
I've been reading a series of blog posts written by a former MK who has a ministry to MKs now. She has a lot of good to share, but she also seems to have been severely traumatized by her childhood. I think the missionary community has changed a lot for the better since what I'm reading about happened. The world is smaller now, too. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about this recently, as I've been reading.
I'd be interested in reading that blog. Can you share the link?
DeleteYes, I too would be interested in reading that blog. Please share.
DeleteI was debating sharing it or not, but, like I said, there really is some good stuff there. Here you go:
Deletehttp://michelephoenix.com/mk-tck-resources/videos-articles-novels/
i definitely feel like both are our realities - and that's the way it is supposed to be.
ReplyDeletei wouldn't trade this life for anything. and we are supposed to be content in all circumstances, to rejoice always.
but we are also to be living sacrifices and to embrace suffering that comes along as a part of following the will of God because then we get to share a tiny bit in the same experiences as our Savior.
the Lord gives... He also takes away... blessed be the name of the Lord!
I feel the same as you, Jen. (and no, it's not because of your "easy" mission field of Australia - I've lived there and I know how different it is from the States!) What am I sacrificing? Ok, our living circumstances are different (currently we've been without running water for over a month here in Uganda), but many things about our life here is better than in the States! We never had our own home of this size. The benefits far outweigh the "sacrifices". What kid gets to travel the world like MKs? Who gets to teach a children's Sunday School clas at age 14? Who gets to have people waiting in a crowd around you, wanting a gospel tract from you when you are four years old? There are so many experiences to enrich the MKs life. I understand the family part - I am an MK, so maybe that's why the place doesn't matter to me, the people do. Wherever my family is, that is home. I think that it is very important to watch how we portray these feelings to our children. If we let them know that we "feel sorry" for them for their sacrifices, they will be one of those MKs that you referred to above. They will probably never be second generation missionaries. I tell my children all the time how blessed they are to be MKs! That doesn't mean I don't grieve with them and comfort them when they are missing someone or talk about what they are missing in the States. But I try to help them refocus on the bounty of blessings they have in living as an MK in Africa! Rebecca Lantz
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts, thanks. I do the same with redirecting their thoughts. When they get homesick (mainly my daughter), I remind her of all the blessings we have here that we didn't have in Australia. She said she feels the Lord wants here in Africa, so maybe I'll send her your way for a mission's trip!!
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