Friday, January 9, 2015

Biggest Daily Life Struggles


It’s snow season here in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it is COLD! For a family of 6 living in a 2-bedroom apartment with 4 kids ages 9 and under, the frigid weather does not negate the need for getting out of the house to burn off energy. I feel like such a scrooge saying it, but if I’m honest, I really do not like snow. I agree that it is beautiful. I also agree that building snowmen, snowball fights, and sledding down hills are tremendous fun, but as soon as the snow piles up, my life as a mother during this season with little kids becomes infinitely more difficult.

Snow mounds piled higher than the cars and into the trees! 




Yesterday my husband took 3 of our kids out sledding. Since I was only getting them ready instead of dressing them, as well as myself and my twenty-month-old, I took a moment to count every article of clothing that I had to ensure was on each of my children before they went outside. Do you know how many there were? 50. FIFTY!! And like I said, that was only 3 kids. Some of those 50 items also have to be paired, which means that between trips outdoors I have to keep each of those pairs clean and in a place that we can locate the both parts easily upon exit. 


Though bundling takes a ton of energy, I do have to admit that bundled babies are adorable.


Then the bundling begins. Trying to get between 50 and 75 articles of clothing on my kids and self in a cramped, warm hallway before we can exit into the cool air is, shall I say, not the best part of anyone’s day. It takes forever, people are falling over each other as they try to find space, items get lost in the shuffle, inevitably the toddler begins undressing about as fast as I manage to try to get him clothed… Then there is coming inside and trying to get in the door without tracking snow into the house, and trying to remove the dozens upon dozens of clothing items and figuring out which items need drying, which hanging on the coat rack, which washing, which into drawers, etc.


Success! The kids enjoying their reward from enduring the craziness of the bundling feat.


Ok, so I don’t need to continue about this reality of life in this freezing land, but honestly, this is one of the truest physical and spiritual battles that I face on a daily basis. I struggle trying to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to be patient and kind during the throes of the bundling phase.  I battle to choose joy when simply going outside saps so much of my day’s limited portion of physical strength. I regularly need to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my attitude and frustration with the kids when I fail to control my emotions in the heat of the stress of just trying to get outside. 

I often feel the need to relate to friends about this very real struggle in life that often lasts for literally about half of my year each year, but there are few people who can relate. My friends back “home” can’t relate because we’re not from a snowy part of the US. My Russian friends can’t relate because most of them have only one or perhaps two children, often spaced far apart. It is my missionary mom friends around me who can empathize and say,“Yes! It is so hard!” and then pray for me about this seemingly trivial but very real daily battle.

I wanted to ask you women, what is the hardest thing that you deal with as a mom where you are living? Do you have people who can relate to you in this struggle or do you feel alone in it? Would you take a moment to share what that hardship is like so that we can pray for you? It is likely that you will find women on this blog who live similar lives and share similar struggles, but even if not, we can all understand what it is like to have a very real daily life challenge that others might not understand. Let’s pray for one another in these challenges as missionary moms.

10 comments:

  1. Yes! Yes! Yes! I TOTALLY get this one.... the hard work that it is AND the frustration that can go along with it! You are my missionary hero, Ashley!

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    1. Jolene! So good to see you here! =) I've thought of you a number of times recently! I know that you can totally relate to the snow/bundling challenge. And you are so sweet; I'm certainly no hero, but thank you for your encouraging words!

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  2. Thanks for sharing this, Ashley! It is something I can only imagine since we live in such a hot place! Maybe it's because it has been worse than usual lately, but right now, I feel like the hardest thing I deal with as a mom here is unreliable running water. It is common here to only have running water part of the day. The house that we lived in for the past four years only had running water from 1am-9am (not the most convenient timing!). We had a reserve tank that would fill during the night and a pump that would pump the water into our house as we used it during the day. I learned to calculate how much water a shower, or washing dishes, or a load of laundry would use... and, if I miscalculated or if the tank hadn't completely filled up the night before, we would be out of water by the evening. My kids have super sensitive skin and get a rash from getting sweaty (which you do every day - opposite from St. Pete!), so it was always hard as a mom when there would be no water to bath them at the end of the day. Now, we are in a new house that was supposed to have better access to running water (so we no longer have a tank)... and this week, we've been without running water all week!. We always have a few large bottles of water saved for times like this, but they were used up quickly, and so many people in our town were having water problems this week, we had to go out of town to buy more water. My son's rash is so bad we were at the hospital yesterday! Thankfully, the water came back today. It is hard for friends back home to understand this daily struggle, and, while as missionary moms in different areas, we have different struggles, it IS good to relate on this topic. Thank you, Ashley!

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    1. Wow, Sarah. That would be so so hard!! I can't imagine! We have our water shut off for maybe a day, or our hot water for a couple of weeks, or our water will be brown for a few hours, and under any of those circumstances it is SO inconvenient. I often think during those times how spoiled I am that we have running water almost all of the time. It truly makes life so much simpler, and I am so impressed at your ability to juggle life when water is just something that flows continuously out of the tap. You are an amazing lady to do all that you do and to juggle all that you must to keep kids clean, laundry done, food cooked, hands washed.... Amazing. I have and will continue to pray for you about this and especially for your kiddos and their rashes. My kids also get rashes from sweat and I can't imagine how hard that must be to deal with when you can't rinse them easily. I hope you'll be encouraged today knowing that there are friends praying for you and in similar or different circumstances who can relate to the challenges of missionary life! Hugs!

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    2. (oops, forgot a "not" in there. I meant "when water is NOT just something that flows continuously out of the tap.")

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    3. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Ashley. I have to admit, my attitude about the water situation was far from "amazing" this past week! =) I personally am amazed at you all living in such cold places. We have acclimated so much to the weather here that I just put on a fleece jacket... and it's 79F in our house right now!

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  3. My long comment got lost, so I'll just say thank you to Ashley for now. Maybe I'll try to rewrite later, when our internet connection is doing better.

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    1. Oh bummer about your comment getting lost. I'd love to hear what you have to say. We can add "bad internet connections" to that list of daily frustrations for sure! I hope there is time later where you can share your struggle and how we can pray for you!

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  4. Right now I'm in a pretty good place with older boys, consistent daily water, good access to fruits and vegetables. I think my biggest problem would be cooking all my meals from mostly scratch ingredients. I've gotten better and more streamlined over the years but the work can be tiring.

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    1. Oh, I can definitely relate to you on the cooking from scratch! I love that for the most part it means eating healthier, but it is so hard when there aren't as many easy options for when you're tired. I have gone through seasons (like periods of months) when I was just so tired of cooking dinner that I dreamed of Costco lasagnes to just toss in the oven and call dinner! =)

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