Tuesday Topic: Switching languages

This is something people have asked me in real life recently, and it was in the comments here, too:
Have you been able to successfully switch which language you speak with someone? How? Do you have any tips on how to do that? Especially, how would you change the main language in your home?

Personally, I've found that what I start with, is what sticks, and that's not always good. We speak Russian with our children, but we've done that since they were born. We have been able to bring in English in certain contexts, but it's harder than I would have guessed. (They're bilingual, but they don't like to speak English with us.)

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Longevity in Ministry ~ "Habituate yourself" ~

Thomas Jefferson once said: 

"Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself..."

Several weeks ago, I started a series that I'm hoping will be both a challenge and encouragement to you, based off of a sermon by the senior pastor at my sending church. 

In my last post, I identified seven priorities that are absolutely essential for me- ones that protect me from burnout and the temptation of sin, ones that give me direction and hope for the future, ones that remind me from whence comes any measure of progress and success. Those priorities are:

1. Growing an increasingly intimate relationship with the Lord by consistently, daily and throughout the day, seeking Him; 
2. Praying without ceasing (steadfastly, continuously, patiently, powerfully); 
3. Striving to maintain a good balance between personal growth and service or ministry; 
4. Welcoming accountability; 
5. Committing to marriage and family; 
6. Choosing to be teachable even in difficult circumstances; and 
7. Determining to be a genuine team player.

Today, I want to consider what may seem obvious...

...but it is so critical that its importance cannot be overstated. 

Absolutely key to a longevity on the mission field (or in ministry... or in life) that pleases the Lord is a continual seeking after and dependence upon Jesus - a persistent devotional life characterized and a consistent, continual seeking of His wisdom as the guide for not only our big decisions, but our day to day actions... even our very thoughts and mental meanderings.  We've got to walk with Him daily -  all day, every day, every moment of every day. "The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm." (Proverbs 13:20) Usually, we hear this verse applied to our choice of friends and acquaintances - you know, those people we hang out with on a regular basis and who we allow to influence what we think and believe.  Yet as I was reading those words recently, I had another thought strike me, and I believe it is supported by Scripture.

Who is the wisest of all?

• Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and untraceable His ways!  (Romans 11:33)
• This grace was given to me — the least of all the saints — to proclaim to the Gentiles the incalculable riches of the Messiah, and to shed light for all about the administration of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things. This is so God’s multi-faceted wisdom may now be made known through the church to the rulers and authorities in the heavens. (Ephesians 3:8-10)
• which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. (1 Corinthians 2:14)
• We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are prudent in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you are distinguished, but we are without honor. (1 Corinthians 4:10)
• You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:4)
• For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but it is God’s power to us who are being saved. For it is written: I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and I will set aside the understanding of the experts. Where is the philosopher? Where is the scholar? Where is the debater of this age? Hasn’t God made the world’s wisdom foolish? For since, in God’s wisdom, the world did not know God through wisdom, God was pleased to save those who believe through the foolishness of the message preached. For the Jews ask for signs and the Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles.an Yet to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is God’s power and God’s wisdom, because God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength. Brothers, consider your calling: Not many are wise from a human perspective, not many powerful, not many of noble birth. Instead, God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong. (1 Corinthians 1: 18-26)

God is the THE Wise one. If we want to walk with the wise, we must first be walking with Him. He has to be my first and most important companion of choice - above all others. That is hard, sometimes... because the others are often tangible.

What does walking with God look like? There are some examples in the Biblical account, those to whom we can look, to discover qualities of their lives that we can imitate, so that we can walk with God. Consider:

1. Enoch. The Bible teaches that Enoch walked with God and was no more. The statement is repeated, as if to confirm and then emphasize that fact, that in a very corrupt time, one man walked with God. In his walking with God, he pleased God and was commended for that fact. And Jude tells us that Enoch faithfully prophesied of the Lord's coming.
2. Noah. He, too, is described as walking faithfully with God, blameless and righteous during the time in which he lived. We have a few more details about the life of Noah. He listened and obeyed when God spoke to him. He risked and received the disapproval of his peers. He was clearly called out and separated by God to accomplish a specific and difficult task. He brought his family along with him.
3. Micah 6:8. "He has made it clear to you, mortal man, what is good and what the LORD is requiring from you— to act with justice, to treasure the LORD's gracious love, and to walk humbly in the company of your God."
4. Amos 3:3. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

It is so obvious, so simple - to increasingly grow in intimacy with God, we must walk with Him. It must become my habit: 1) a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up, as well as 2) my regular dress or attire.

Yet the practice of this priority, in the typical tyranny of urgent that literally attacks with vehemence every day, often lacks. I almost added, "particularly in ministry" to that last phrase... but perhaps more truthful is "particularly in life." Personally, I tend to experience seasons or cycles of success. I've not yet mastered long-term consistency. With that said, here is what helps me:

• The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. When I adopt a casual attitude and forget the proper respect and reverence due an infinite, holy Sovereign, I become casual about spending time before His throne. (Proverbs 1) I want to approach God with humble confidence and boldness, never flippantly or with arrogance and pride.
• God's Word is truth and it sanctifies. It offers wisdom and the continual reminder of just with Whom I am seeking to walk. (John 17:17, John 15) His Word has everything I need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3)
• Reading good devotional books, blogs, or articles that draw my mind to the things of God and encourage me to reflect on Him while teaching me more about Him. Confirming through Scripture that the things I'm learning through those books are true. (2 Timothy 4:13) 
• Making sure I'm regularly hearing quality preaching and exposition of God's Word - while once again verifying that what I've heard conforms to what God has already declared true. (Romans 10:17)
• Choose to be motivated, look for encouragement, remain focused. In my life, that means finding a good friend or two with whom I covenant to be transparent, who will hold me accountable, who will confront me when necessary and who will, when I can't, encourage my heart in the Lord - just as Jonathan did for David.
• Writing and sharing through that forum what God is teaching me. It helps me think and I tend to process life with my fingers on a keyboard. It also keeps me accountable because I tend to share what I'm learning most readily through the written medium.

What about you? What is critical practice for you as you seek to walk with God?

We all know that this is so key and so straightforward, but for most of us, it is always a struggle. Why do you think that is the case? What most distracts you from walking with God?

***************************************

Series: Longevity in Ministry

1. Just Think About a Horseshoe, 26/07/2014

2. Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God, 09/08/2014

3. If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide, 23/08/2014

4. The essentials? Or merely superfluous? 13/09/2014

Please note: 

Italicized words are from my notes or from the guided notes in the church bulletin

and are, to the best of my recall, actual content from the sermon.

The rest comes from my continued study and meditation prompted by that sermon.

To listen to the actual sermon "Start, Run and Finish Well," click here.

Tuesday Topic: Feelings about going back

Recently we had a series of questions from someone who was thinking about heading overseas. Now we have a few from someone considering a move in the other direction, back to her original home country. Here is the second question:
I have a lot of fear and excitement about possibly returning to the states. Within a minute's time, I can get overcome with excitement and fear all at once. I think about returning to life as it was before, and I get sad. Then I think about returning to the conveniences, friends/family, and worshipping in my home country again, and I get excited. Is this what you feel, too? How do you work through and reconcile these feelings?

There was a really good post about this topic on The Overseas Life blog, too.

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Mama, We Need You!

Hey you.  Yeah, you there, with the spit up on your shirt, and a baby screaming, while the pot on the stove is boiling over and the 4 year old is throwing a tantrum.  Can I tell you something?  You are needed in your community.  No really, you are.  You are needed in a way your husband can't fill.  Because while he loves you and is a wonderful husband and father, you are a mama.  And there are other mamas that need you!!

Yesterday I spend a few hours with my friend and her 3 year old.  We went to the park, shared some cookies and talked. We talked about raising kids, about life as mamas.  We laughed over the fact that our toddlers call for us at least 400 times a day and we want to change our names to something that sounds NOTHING like mama, mom, mamá, or mamí.

We talked about how the men we love drive us nuts at times  and I was able to share how that can drive us to the Lord, asking for the right words, the right actions to love those men.

As we got in the car to drive home, my friend looked at me and said, "I needed this.  I don't have any other friends who have kids.  None of them understand my life."  Wow!

I really don't know where my friend stands with Jesus right now.  That's ok.  She talking, opening up, something that doesn't happen easily or quickly in this culture. But she is desperate.  And if I am being honest, I was a bit desperate too for mom friends!  Mamas need other mamas. It's a universal thing.  We need to gird each other up in this journey of raising little people to be big people. 

I've shared here before how this first term for us has been incredibly hard.  I have felt it all!  The loneliness, the isolation, the not being able to effectively communicate in a second language, the missing my home culture, the not fitting in, the feeling of constantly banging your head against the wall as you try to work with a ministry that doesn't want what they asked you to do.  All of it!  I could write a book, I probably will one day. 

But one of the big things I was reminded of it that even in the loneliness, even in the insecurity about language, take the first step.  Talk to that other mama at the park, or at church, or in your neighborhood.  Chances are pretty good that she needs a friend too.  She might not speak your first langauge, but you can fumble you way through your second and laugh together at the mistakes.  She will understand your care and your friendship.  And you her's.  In the midst of the mess, and weariness of raising small people, you can be there for each other.

So mama, you are needed. God sent you to the time and place you're in to shine His Grace.  Go forth and Shine!!!

Tuesday Topic: Knowing when to leave

Recently we had a series of questions from someone who was thinking about heading overseas. Now we have a few from someone considering a move in the other direction, back to her original home country. First, she asks:
How do you know when it's time to leave the mission field? I have been feeling very discontent lately but don't know if it's my own heart issue or if it is God beginning to prepare my heart to return to my home country.

There was a really good post about this topic on The Overseas Life blog, too.

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Longevity in Ministry ~ The essentials? Or merely superfluous? ~

Several weeks ago, I started a series that I'm hoping will be both a challenge and encouragement to you, based off of a sermon by the senior pastor at my sending church. The first post focused on that oxymoron that the God is sovereign, but that men are also responsible. Imagining those two truths as a horseshoe where, as mere humans, we only see and comprehend the ends. God, on the other hand, looks at the whole and thus can see how two things that appear contradictory do actually work together. The second post considered one of the ends of that horseshoe: trusting God, not only because He is sovereign - but because He is sufficient in that sovereignty. The third post explored the other end of that horseshoe and specifically what God's Word says about obedience and abiding in Christ.

A 2003 study on missionary retention/attrition observed that the number of missionaries leaving missions for preventable reasons is increasing. One of the interesting details that they noted in their survey based research: 

"...high retention agencies placed more weight on the selection criteria for screening purposes than low retention agencies. [Additionally] High retention agencies placed a significantly greater weight on: a) Previous church ministry experience [and] b) The demonstration of mature Christian character and spiritual disciplines of prayer and devotional life."

According to this study (and not surprisingly), longevity in ministry correlated with the consistent application of key Bible based principles, particularly a heart inclined to ministry as demonstrated by consistently working to serve others before ever heading to the mission field, lives seasoned by persistent trust and God's grace, and a determination to not allow ministry to overwhelm private devotion to one's individual relationship with God.

This means that those who "started well, ran well and finished well" could not only recite the importance of what I'm listing below, but they also demonstrated a history of persevering in priorities such as:

1. growing an increasingly intimate relationship with the Lord by consistently, daily and throughout the day, seeking Him; 

2. praying without ceasing (steadfastly, continuously, patiently, powerfully); 

3. striving to maintain a good balance between personal growth and service or ministry; 

4. welcoming accountability; 

5. committing to marriage and family;  

6. choosing to be teachable even in difficult circumstances; and 

7. determining to be a genuine team player.

As this series continues, each successive post will target these priorities as key principles identified in God's Word with the goal of helping missionaries and others seeking to serve God under challenging circumstances "hang in there," allowing God to continue working in and through them to better love God and love people.

Rather than diving in immediately, however - I'm curious....

What do you think?

Are those priorities listed above essential for longevity? 

Are some more important than others? 

Would you add additional ones? 

Are some priorities easier to maintain than others?

Which do you find the most difficult?

***************************************

Series: Longevity in Ministry

1. Just Think About a Horseshoe, 26/07/2014

2. Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God, 09/08/2014

3. If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide, 23/08/2014

Please note: 

Italicized words are from my notes or from the guided notes in the church bulletin

and are, to the best of my recall, actual content from the sermon.

The rest comes from my continued study and meditation prompted by that sermon.

To listen to the actual sermon "Start, Run and Finish Well," click here.

Tuesday Topic: Cake!

This is a simple, but important question. Tomorrow is our oldest son's 11th birthday:
Do you have tried and true cake and icing recipes that you like? Certain ones that you always run to? I do for icing now (no powdered sugar!), and I've tried lots of cakes, but I don't have a favorite yet....

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

The Education Question

Where are the kids going to go to school?

When we first contemplated moving overseas to do mission work, this was one of the big questions that kept me up at night. Everyone seemed to be asking it...our parents, friends, and our donors. Where were we going to send the kids to school? Public schools were too dangerous, private schools too expensive, and homeschooling is illegal where we live. I  spent a lot of time researching and trying to decide what we were going to do. The kids were young at the time, but with our daughter soon approaching Kindergarten age it was a question that needed to be answered.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when we sent our children off to 2nd and 5th grades at a bi-lingual international school here in the city where we live. To them, school in two languages with kids from all over the world is totally normal. Eating lunch outside every day and wearing uniforms are standard. In fact an American classroom would probably seem very strange.

It hasn't been easy, and I have had my fair share of headaches dealing with the educational system here including many struggles for one of my children who has special needs regarding education. Thank God we have made it through and as we start our fifth year of school, I can say confidently that our kids are getting a good education.

But how did we get to this point? If you are planning to move overseas anytime soon, you are probably wrestling with this question. What are the pros and cons? Can we afford it? Where will our children feel most comfortable? In this post, I am going to lay out a few options for education with some pros and cons for each. I would love to hear feedback about everyone else's experiences too!

National Public School is an option for many families and a great way to immerse your child into the local language and culture. It may be free in some countries too, which is always a plus! It can be a great way to make connections with neighbors and national families, but it could potentially be dangerous for your child or cause them to have weakened English language skills.

National Private Schools are also an option similar to the one listed above and they may have a stronger academic program and even include English if it is a bi-lingual school. If you want your child to attend a Christian school, this could be a great option for you as well, and the costs may be much more affordable than an international school. A local private school may or may not be accredited in the United States or Europe.

International Schools offer a bi-lingual education and are usually accredited in the United States and Europe. They also have more of an international community so your child may feel like they “blend in” with everyone else who doesn’t blend into your host country. These schools can be quite expensive, and also can have a very mobile student body meaning that your child will be saying hello and good-bye to new friends quite often.

Boarding School is another option that seems to be less common in recent years. These schools require spending a lot of time apart from your child starting at a young age, but if there are no other local educational options this type of education could give your child the academic tools they need to go on to a university. A boarding school also may be designed specifically with the needs of missionary kids in mind, and offer a family atmosphere for them.

Homeschooling is another option that works well for many missionary families, and gives them great flexibility for working around ministry events and home assignments. It also offers the child the bonus of spending a lot of time with parents throughout the school day. This option may be difficult for families who live in a country where homeschooling is illegal. Another potential setback could be the homeschooling parent(s) and children do not have as much exposure to learning a new language.

One thing that I have learned is to not be afraid to advocate for my child, and to approach school administration in kindness to see what I can do to help offer more resources at the school. It also doesn't hurt to ask local schools if they offer any kind of discount. We learned that an international school in our city gave a discounts to families that worked as missionaries or with non-profit organizations. This information allowed us to pursue this school for our children. In addition, I joined the Parent Committee and do as much as I can to be present at my children's school throughout the day so that I can have a hands-on understanding of what they are learning and any struggles they may be going through. 

We have all had different experiences as moms trying to balance ministry, and giving our children a solid education...whatever that looks like. Sometimes it can seem impossible, but I just want to encourage you that God cares even about where our kids go to school. This year, as I sent my children off to a new year, God spoke quietly to me reminding me that when He called us here, He knew just what our children would need to learn and grow. 

I want to hear from everyone else! What educational options do you have in your current situation? If you are considering a move what questions do you have for those of us who have school age kids on the mission field? We would love to hear some feedback about your experiences! 

Notebooks in every color covered in plastic is standard for El Salvador...any strange "back to school" requirements where you live???