Hey you. Yeah, you there, with the spit up on your shirt, and a baby screaming, while the pot on the stove is boiling over and the 4 year old is throwing a tantrum. Can I tell you something? You are needed in your community. No really, you are. You are needed in a way your husband can't fill. Because while he loves you and is a wonderful husband and father, you are a mama. And there are other mamas that need you!!
Yesterday I spend a few hours with my friend and her 3 year old. We went to the park, shared some cookies and talked. We talked about raising kids, about life as mamas. We laughed over the fact that our toddlers call for us at least 400 times a day and we want to change our names to something that sounds NOTHING like mama, mom, mamá, or mamí.
We talked about how the men we love drive us nuts at times and I was able to share how that can drive us to the Lord, asking for the right words, the right actions to love those men.
As we got in the car to drive home, my friend looked at me and said, "I needed this. I don't have any other friends who have kids. None of them understand my life." Wow!
I really don't know where my friend stands with Jesus right now. That's ok. She talking, opening up, something that doesn't happen easily or quickly in this culture. But she is desperate. And if I am being honest, I was a bit desperate too for mom friends! Mamas need other mamas. It's a universal thing. We need to gird each other up in this journey of raising little people to be big people.
I've shared here before how this first term for us has been incredibly hard. I have felt it all! The loneliness, the isolation, the not being able to effectively communicate in a second language, the missing my home culture, the not fitting in, the feeling of constantly banging your head against the wall as you try to work with a ministry that doesn't want what they asked you to do. All of it! I could write a book, I probably will one day.
But one of the big things I was reminded of it that even in the loneliness, even in the insecurity about language, take the first step. Talk to that other mama at the park, or at church, or in your neighborhood. Chances are pretty good that she needs a friend too. She might not speak your first langauge, but you can fumble you way through your second and laugh together at the mistakes. She will understand your care and your friendship. And you her's. In the midst of the mess, and weariness of raising small people, you can be there for each other.
So mama, you are needed. God sent you to the time and place you're in to shine His Grace. Go forth and Shine!!!
beautifully said, Liz! And so true.
ReplyDeleteI'm also finding that this doesn't change just because you are a mama with littles. our oldest is out on his first solo drive after getting his license and it helps to have other mamas walking through those same things so encourage me... and for me to encourage them... and for us all to pray together for our kids' safety... and our sanity, our husbands' sanity...
well, i think you get what i mean! :-)
heheeh, yep, God made us to need each other didn't He? Thankful for that! And I'll pray for your safety and sanity :)
DeleteThis is beautiful, Liz! Thank you! I just had a moment of mama-loniless earlier today, so your words were just what I needed to hear. :)
ReplyDeleteso glad it was encouraging Chrysti!
DeleteYes! We are technically in student ministry, but realistically, it is not always easy for me to spend loads of time hanging out with college students. Lots of college activities just don't work with 4 kids in tow! =) BUT, I've found that opportunities to minister to other moms just happen all of the time, often without seeking them out! Mothering is so humbling and on time when it seems that women are really open to admitting that they don't have it all together and are in need... Thanks for encouraging us about how we are needed in our communities!
ReplyDelete