Letting go

Holding my then toddler son, I asked a mom of a teenager how she "let go" of her children as they grew up. With no hesitation she said, "letting go is God's process of our children growing up. It's a natural growing apart. If you hold on too tight then your children will not be allowed to grow properly into adulthood." I hugged my son tighter and said, "I'm so happy I don't have to face that right now."  

Oh, how time flies, doesn't it?  My "toddler" is now 21 years old. 

May 2012 - graduation night. (This Mama was holding on tight to that boy's arm.) 

Christmas 2013 - Antrim Family L to R - Jordan (21), Dale, Cherie, Ashleigh (17), Kaia (4)

This process of letting go hasn't been easy and, to be honest, it's not finished. Over the years I have been in denial of the process, embraced the process and I have seen how God's plan is true and right. My husband and I still have our moments of looking back on the pictures and wanting to hang on tight ... like how my arms ache to hold them as babies again. The right thing to do is let them fly. 

They can soar much higher without us tethered to them. 

Just recently I realized how true that is when Jordan called needing money. For the past year and a half he's been in a Master's Commission program in Stuttgart, Germany. Tuition is raised through family, friends, car washes, jobs, etc. Funds began to run low and he was faced with having to leave the program or come up with 700 euro. Jordan called worried, crying and questioning God. My first instinct was to protect and fix .... and then I realized I didn't have 700 euro so I cried with him and pointed him to the Word. I'm not his provider. Very hard lesson to learn. During this time my husband had an intimate conversation with Jordan where he shared that very thought ... we are no longer his provider. They talked, shared, cried a little more and prayed. Later, Jordan shared with me how he began to search the Word regarding finances. Jordan received a new revelation about finances, giving and tithing. God began to show Himself faithful and true over the next few weeks. It was an amazing process to witness. Money began coming in from unlikely sources. People who didn't even know him gave because they heard of the need. Envelopes of cash began showing up in the mail. God has proved Himself over and over in the last few months. He never had to leave the program and will be graduating in June. 

⁴ He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.   Deuteronomy 32:4 

I sometimes think, "What if I would have been able to pay the bill?"  I can't help but thank God for allowing Jordan to experience His faithfulness and goodness. Nothing compares. 

There's such a peace when we let go and hand our children over to God. Our realizing that we were never meant to be their provider, savior, or deliverer is freeing. 

If you have little ones, I encourage you to squeeze those babies a bit tighter today. Enjoy each day. Take lots of pictures. Make memories. Trust God. let go and watch them soar.

Has living overseas made "letting go" easier or harder for you? 

  

Tuesday Topic: Financial practicalities

Erin has another good question: "What are tips on converting money in a way that won't get you in trouble or cheated?" And I add a little more to that on my own: How do you handle getting money to you? bank transfers? ATMs? etc....

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

"You are... You will be..."

Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas” (which, when translated, is Peter). (John 1:43)

Is it just me, or does this seems like an anti-climatic "confirmation of/or call" to ministry? 

After all, this is Peter we're talking about.

You know... the guy who would

• walk on water...
• only to then sink dismally;
• recognize Jesus as the Son of God...
• only to turn around and tempt Him to walk a different path;
• be chosen to keep watch and pray
• only to repeatedly end up snoring instead;
• bravely and loyally step forward with sword to defend Jesus
• only to deny even knowing him when confronted later;
• give up on himself and go back to fishing fish
• only to become an impassioned preacher, gifted with words and a heart for souls that could only come from one mightily forgiven.

...Paul's conversion and call to ministry was nothing short of miraculous and amazing. I guess, if I didn't already know the story, I would have expected something similar for Peter. Fireworks exploding or the like!

That just isn't the case. 

Sometimes only the one called knows something is going on... sometimes the one called only knows that God has quietly given a new name... a new identity... as His ambassador. 

That means something to me as a missionary, as one convinced He'd called me to serve on the mission field at the tender age of five (no kidding!).

There really isn't much to this part of Peter's story. His brother Andrew comes home after meeting the Lord. He tells Peter he'd found the Messiah and then takes him to meet Jesus. Once there, Jesus identifies who he is: "You are Simon..." and then gives him a new identity: "You will be called Cephas."

This wasn't the first time that God gave a new identity when He placed His hand on a life. Think of Abraham... Sarah... Jacob... Joseph... Daniel... 

God doesn't always clearly give His reasons, although we can certainly make some inferences and guesses from what we read in the biblical text. I believe it is possible that He's showing each one of them they are now embarking on THE mission, the one for which He created them, the one for which He had been preparing them. That new name clues the receiver in on God's divine plan while reassuring them that He still orchestrates all. 

Those name changes seem to correspond to life changes resulting in very different people, each time. Only thing? The change didn't always happen immediately. Sometimes it took time. Sometimes it happened very quietly and unnoticeably. Abraham didn't immediately become a father of multitudes... Simon still had much growing to do before he became recognizable as Cephas, a... if not the... key leader and preacher in God's newly established church.

I find that so encouraging. 

God recognizes me TODAY for who I will become SOMEDAY... by His grace. 

Who are you, today?

Who do you pray you will be someday, by God's grace?

Can you show God's grace to a specific someone who is today... but by God's grace will be, someday? How?

(Edited post and much needed-for-me reminder from the archives of Our Wright-ing Pad.) 

Tuesday Topic: Food

Erin asks, "How do you adjust to different foods than what your "home-culture" eats? Did you experience a lot of sickness at first? Any tips or tricks for this?"

And that's the last question I have in my queue. Send more!

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Traveling with Littles: My Best Tips

We are actually winging our way to the States today!  It's been a year and a half since we've stepped foot on US soil (well, we did go to the embassy at some point this last year...does that count?  Or is that just a urban legend?)  We are going for a two week time with family and we are thrilled!

Anyway, as I was packing, I felt myself fall into a normal groove.  You know what I mean.  This packing thing is so natural now.  And I have needed something natural and normal this last couple of weeks.  We've been in the mists of a hurricane with ministry stuff, and while everything is completely out of control and nothing is nailed down and the winds are hollowing around me, at least I can put things in suitcases and organize backpacks.

That got me thinking about my List of Things that Work when Traveling with Kids.

Ok, so in no particular order, here's what works for our family when traveling by plane.

• Stroller.  Yes, my boys are getting big, but we're still taking our double stroller.  This maybe one of the last trips for the double.  But it works well when little legs get tired.

• Empty water bottles/sippy cup.  Since you can't bring a water bottles full through security any more, we bring empty ones and then fill them up.  We've even had it where the flight attendants fill them up with juice on the plane.  And I mean FILL them.  All the way.

• Backpacks.  I know this may not work for everyone, but for us it does.  I keep them light because there are times when the little people get tired.  This time, here's what's in each kids' backpack.  And each boy has patches from every country they have traveled to.  We love the LL Bean ones (I buy them used on Ebay.) They are sturdy and have taken a beating and still are great!

1.  Colored pencil roll                                     

2. New Lego minfig. My boys are obsessed!

3.  Large popsicle sticks.  You can make just 

about anything with these                      

4. Large dot stickers. To make faces, to stick 

on Dad, to use as tape                             

5.  Pipe cleaners.  Theses things are amazing!

         They are lightweight take up almost no room 

      and provide endless hours of entertainment

6.  Headphones and mp3 player loaded           

with audio books                                

7.  Large drawing pad.  I love how these are   

 such a common thing here in Costa Rica

8.  2 books with multiple stories                     

•  A lightweight piece of fabric or blanket to sit on in the airport picnic style.    This is nice for baby to lay on and get some wiggles out, and for bigger people to sit on too.  We actually look for spots that have lots of floor space to help us stretch out.  You can also put your stroller at an angle and sorta create a space for your family. 

•  Limit the blankets/stuffed animals/lovies.  My boys want to have a blanket, stuffed animal and....and...and...nope.  Sorry.  One thing man.

• Snacks.  Need I say more?  I try to pick snacks that won't spoil and that are bit different from our normal routine.

•  Audio stuff.   Remember item #6 in the backpack?  Books on Tape...errrrrrr mp3?  I think they are called Audio books now.  Anyway.  You can sometimes get these from your "local" library's website.  Yeah, go grab your library card out of that drawer from last time you were stateside!  Or email your sister and beg for her card number, because yes, you can access a lot of libraries digital stuff from overseas! Sweet!  Also, include a pair of kid friendly headphones.  Our boys have these. (Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!)  They are great because they actually stay on and don't hurt their ears and they are pretty rugged.  I just made these drawstring bags for them for their backpacks so they can keep the headphones and the player together.

• Don't use up everything all at once.  Ration, people.  Don't let them break out everything the second they get to the airport.  Take your time.

Ok, so your turn.  What is your best tip for traveling with kids?  Share the love sistas!

Tuesday Topic: Loneliness

Bonnie writes, "My husband and I are new (8 months) missionaries in Central America with our 6 yr old and 4 yr old children. One of the things that I have been battling lately is feeling very lonely. We're working on relationships where we're at but it's slow going and there is a lot of mistrust with Americans, especially missionaries! Our friends back home have young families like us and have the desire but can't seem to find the time to communicate with us. I would love to hear how other missionary moms have dealt with this. Thanks!"

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Guest post: Birthday giving

Hi, I am Teisa. I am a mother of two girls with big dreams for many more (boys and girls). My husband and I have served in South Africa since 2009 and were in Mozambique for five years prior to that. We currently help oversee an Iris Ministries base in White River, RSA. We pioneered a family-based care center for abandoned/orphaned/abused children called Michaels Children's Village. We continue to serve at the children's village, but spend most of our time with community outreach at a local Bible school, feeding center, and equipping ministries. Our personal website is Run with the Glory.

Recently we celebrated our sweet four year old’s birthday. Our first gift from Papa God, we named her Johanna Joy (God’s gift of joy). For all who know her, Johanna is truly a bringer of great joy. Like any proud mama- my heart swells at the enormous privilege of loving, training and stewarding her well…..I say stewarding because she is not mine….even though she was biologically born to me…Johanna belongs to the one who formed her in the womb- our Heavenly Father. She is His daughter first and mine second. A very rich truth indeed. Something I am only beginning to understand…Since she is a daughter of the Most High King Jesus, how can I daily walk this out? When she is melting down? When she sick? What about on her birthday?

How many times have we read or spoken “It is better to give than to receive…” As missionaries, I believe most of us truly experience this beautiful truth daily. But what about in the most personal places of our hearts/home….what are we modeling to our children? A birthday celebration is just an easy example. If the day is centered around a child receiving, is our child perhaps missing out on a greater joy?

Please, please, please hear my heart. I am not against the traditional western birthday celebration! Of course we need to celebrate these amazing little people and lavish our love on them through gifts, cake, parties, etc. However, I do strongly believe the traditional birthday celebration can be improved by giving!

In Africa, many children never experience a birthday day celebration. Many families struggle to provide one-two meals a day, so something as luxurious as cake and presents are not an option. Because of this, children grow up not really knowing their birth date. A great example- Johanna’s best friend and neighbor, Panach.

We live in an informal settlement in South Africa where unemployment is crazy high and HIV ravages the community. Due to the felt need- our ministry started a daily feeding program for local children and adults. That is where we first met Panach. Johanna and Panach hit it off as fast friends. When walking her home one day, we discovered she living right down our street! Soon Panach became a daily part of our lives….racing to our house after school and staying till dark. We affectionately introduce her as our “day daughter.”

Since birthdays are in important part of our family, we asked Panch about her birth date several times…she never knew quite how to answer…Jan? Feb? As Johanna’s birthday got closer, Panach began to say “Feb 26” which was Johanna’s birthday.

So we asked Johanna what we should do? Like any almost 4 year old, she thought about her answer carefully. She was really looking forward to her party. “Maybe we can have the party for me and Panch?!”

We were already asking the Lord how we could use this opportunity for Johanna to give and not just receive. She already prepared special gifts for her local friends (little goodie bags with art work, fruit, candy). But now Johanna had another special mission…to love Panch well and give her the best birthday ever! And because sweet Johanna tapped into God’s truth- she super enjoyed her own special day with deep abiding joy!

Last year, an eight year old girl named Eden, asked everyone to give a financial gift to MCV (Michaels Childrens Village- the childrens village we help oversee in SA) instead of receiving presents on her birthday!. Although her love gift made several kids quite happy on their birthdays in Africa, we are pretty sure Eden experienced the greatest joy of all!

Fellow mamas- search out opportunities for your children to give especially on special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, etc. Continue to model Christ-centered giving before them every chance you get….it is the fast track to JOY in your home!!

Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves (He takes pleasure in, prizes above other things, and is unwilling to abandon or to do without) a cheerful (joyous, "prompt to do it") giver [whose heart is in his giving]. 2 Corinthians 9: 7

He who gives to the poor will never want, but he who shuts his eyes will have many curses. Proverbs 28:27

In everything I have pointed out to you [by example] that, by working diligently in this manner, we ought to assist the weak, being mindful of the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, It is more blessed (makes one happier and more to be envied) to give than to receive. Acts 20: 35