Generating Gratitude

Thanksgiving is this month… unless you live in Canada (like I do now). If you do, Thanksgiving was last month.

Traditionally, Fall- or harvest-time in western cultures - includes a specified time of celebration, family and giving thanks. But that doesn't mean western cultures have the corner on this sort of celebration.

Have you already guessed? Our monthly theme for November is thankfulness... and we hope to spark a conversation about how Thanksgiving (or Action de Grâce as we say in French) is celebrated around the world. 

To start things off, I'd like to revisit something I wrote a few years back... while I was still living in West Africa... all about gratitude!

...I feel a bit stupid starting out like this – 

I REALLY can’t stand listening to a generator.

I know. You’re wondering, “What’s the big deal?”

First, I’ve listened to them an awful lot lately.

Additionally, generators are noisy, they stink, there’s usually a big puff of black smoke as they start up, I’m quite sure they can’t be good for the environment and they consume a whole lot of diesel fuel. That gets expensive. 

And while that list of five might actually be considered valid reasons for my churlishness, they aren’t the real ones behind my stronger than ambivalent dislike.

My antipathy towards those monstrosities which authorize electricity for some while everyone else has plunged into darkness is nothing short of sinful.

I detest them because I don’t have one… everyone else around me does… which repeatedly jogs my memory of something I’d rather ignore.

When the power goes out

• I’m stuck sitting in the dark trying to mark papers until I get frustrated and my head aches (candlelight is hard on these getting-older eyes of mine).
• I’m finishing looking up the Zarma words with unfamiliar symbols for Saturday’s Bible study.
• I’m washing dishes hoping they’ll look as clean in the daylight as they do under that dreamy, flickery glow. 
• I’m praying that the little ones don’t wake up because the difficulty of rejoining Mr. Sandman increases exponentially when the air seems deader than the inside of a tomb. 
• Last, but not least, I sweat literal buckets at 11:00 at night when working near even the tiniest flame.

I used to begrudge those who experienced nothing more than a blip when the current sagged or disappeared altogether. I think I’ve gotten past that. I don’t wish they didn’t have one because I don’t, and I certainly understand why they use their generators. If I had one, I’d be using it, too.

EACH time, however, I hear a generator roar into life I’m vehemently reminded of something I’d rather ignore….

I balk at the instruction to give thanks in all circumstances. 

I'm reminded of that reality in slow motion replay each time I hear those machines jolt into life and I begin to growl and complain. 

My father-in-law served for some years in Haiti and tells of visiting a local electric company. Night had fallen, the plant was elevated, located on a small mountain outside of town, and from the plant, he could see the entire lighted city. An employee began pointing out different neighborhoods and then with a sly grin told my father-in-law to watch.

Click!­

He switched a button, an entire neighborhood went dark... and the employee laughed. Out loud. 

It is easy to joke that something similar takes place each time our power goes out. But reality is that I can live and still function adequately, even with this particular frustration that is so common to the expat experience of life in an impoverished, still-developing locality.

I can also willingly choose to refuse to give thanks.

We’ve had a smattering of power outages in recent days and weeks. More than normal. Each time I hear the neighboring generators roar into life, a still small voice whispers: “I don’t want to thank the Lord that the local powers that be have once again denied me any power.” That voice doesn’t stop there, however. It continues, whispering: 

“It isn’t the electric company denying you power. You’ve done it to yourself, by not choosing gratitude.”

Not only am I stumbling and sweating it out without electricity, I’m also self-rendered powerless, spiritually, choosing to be a victim of circumstances when God offers me practice at building a practice of joy and contentment, regardless.

Just like that dude at the electric plant in Haiti, by refusing gratitude, I’m flipping a switch, laughing… and plunging myself (and sometimes those around me) into darkness.

Choosing gratitude, however?

Choosing gratitude siphons out any clout out of darkness. It leaves opportunity for vibrating voltage, exhilarating energy, and contagious current.

An electrical stream of thankfulness pulsating powerfully can provide perspective and light for me and maybe for those nearby as well.

William Faulkner noted:

“Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.”

Faulkner was absolutely right…

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What, in your life, reminds you of those times you reject a thankful spirit?

How can you celebrate Thanksgiving throughout the year - intentionally producing, discharging and using up gratitude?

This article, original form, first posted here.

Longevity ~ "It's a wrap!"

Finally, eh?

Over a year and thirteen posts later, this series - first inspired by a sermon my pastor preached - has finally concluded.

For my own benefit - and hopefully some of you will appreciate this as well - I am concluding with a final post that will hopefully summarize key points of this discussion and which will, at the conclusion, provide links to all of the posts in the series in a single spot.

Longevity, defined in its most basic terms, refers to length of service or tenure. After all of the work, time, goodbyes and oft' painful transitions into new cultures and languages, those who call themselves international workers or missionaries typically hope to have long, productive careers. Just like a doctor wouldn't want to change career directions after one or two years of work, most career missionaries do not leave for the field planning to only stay one or two years. And while there are many legitimate reasons to change that plan - "leaving before we planned to" or without planning because of something preventable prevents us from staying is something most of us would like to avoid.

We want to be able to say, right along with Paul: 

For I am now ready to be offered, 

and the time of my departure is at hand. 

I have fought a good fight, 

I have finished my course, 

I have kept the faith: 

Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, 

which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: 

and not to me only, 

but unto all them also that love his appearing.

"Like longevity in life, some basic things are needed - right genes [children of God], right diet [God's Word], right exercise [involvement in ministry] and right environment [a place in God's community - the Church]."

Thus, longevity is, very simply, the number of years that God, in His sovereignty, allots you, no more and no less. Regardless of our personal opinions, the Bible clearly teaches that God is sovereign. Pagan kings understood and proclaimed that truth. God's Word, the existence of creation, the rules of physics, the intricacy of the human body... So many things reveal to men that there must be a sovereign God.

As men and women with limited perspective and a very finite view, we look at a crazy oxymoron where God says He is divine and yet, we also understand that we are, somehow, responsible. His Word teaches both. It doesn't make sense, no matter how hard we try. But that is because we can only see as if we are the standing at the open side of an enormous horseshoe, so enormous that we cannot see the U-shaped part of the figure. Human responsibility is on one of the separate ends; divine sovereignty at the other. Our perception, and rightly so if we lived our lives based only on what we see, is that those two are separated by a wide space... irreconcilable... There is great danger if we decide that because we can't see how they meet, they don't... that one or the other is more true and should take more priority. Those who believe the whole is God's divine sovereignty risk an extreme fatalism. Those who believe the whole is human responsibility risk extreme humanism. Neither extreme pleases or honors God.

God, however, looks at that horseshoe from above. He looks down and sees the whole and how those two principles fusing together and forming a single amazing, protecting, correcting, steadying and sustaining, healing and building reality. 

Those truths - God is sovereign and man is responsible - are so important... so necessary, as we consider the issue of longevity. 

Commonly we look at choices and decisions with a very limited view. Either the decisions we make are right. Or they are wrong. If they are right, the results are what we want and hope for. If we are wrong, then we suffer consequences. But this mentality neglects to consider that we serve not only a sovereign, but also a sufficient, God.

"Trusting [in] the sufficiency and sovereignty of God [means knowing and believing that] every day is a gift from God, Who IS the source of faithfulness." Remember that cliché often heard in church circles?  Pray like everything depends on God; work like everything depends on you. For me, at least, it is easier to work like a mad-woman... and forget to pray. Especially as a mama. Especially as a mama who is also a missionary. Even especially more as a mama who is also a missionary and who lives off of the support and gracious gifts of others. In that sense, I live my life as a "practical atheist," a term my husband coined almost 20 years ago. Even when I don't like His provision, it is still what He, sovereignly, knows to be best.

Why trust in His sufficiency and sovereignty? Even pagan kings recognize His sovereignty - think of Nebuchadnezzer in Daniel 4. We also trust because He has proven Himself faithful. We must trust because God does give faith to live, but also to die [or sometimes, to watch those we love, die] for His glory. Finally, we trust because Christ builds His church. We join Him in His work.

So we trust in the sovereignty and sufficiency of God.

What then does our responsibility side of the horseshoe look like? 

The first component is obedience.

As I've taught our children to obey, they understand that obedience looks like 

1) start right away, 

2) have a sweet attitude,

3) is just exactly what I asked for (i.e. finish)

4) without any arguing. 

Failing to meet those four standards, then it is disobedience. If I use that same standard to evaluate my obedience to God's directives for me, I'm often, very often, disobedient - even if not another person can tell. I know.

Obedience is my responsibility. Longevity in ministry requires not just that I trust in God's sovereignty and sufficiency, but also that I obey Him, particularly. How is that obedience demonstrated, day in and day out in my life? What does obedience look like?

Obedience looks like:  

1. Growing an increasingly intimate relationship with the Lord, making a daily walk with Him my habit. Reading, listening, praying, writing, singing, being still, fellowshipping, confessing, repenting, fasting... are all practices I must cultivate until they are habits that I am consistently, daily and throughout the day practicing.
2. Praying without ceasing (steadfastly, continuously, patiently, powerfully). Yes, it is listed as a part of the first priority in this list, but is is one practice that can never be in excess. As Hudson Taylor says, "I have seen many men work without praying, though I have never seen any good come out of it; but I have never seen a man pray without working."
3. Maintaining balance between personal growth and service. We become metaphorical "Dead Seas" when we focus on priorities one and two (above) and never serve, give back out to those all around us what God has been pouring in. God's goodness is to be spilling up, out, over - through the meeting of practical, physical and spiritual needs.
4. Welcoming accountability. Genuine accountability is scary. It requires vulnerability and exposure to the evaluation by and the resulting opinions, criticisms and commentary of others. It's easier and less painful to conceal and suppress detail while crafting a correct image that conforms to the expectations of others. That sort of image-crafting doesn't protect. 1 Timothy 3 lays out the qualifications God desires to see in those who serve in leadership, stating if "anyone aspires to [such a position]... let them also be tested first. Accountability gives hope because it makes me part of a team, forces humility, makes me stronger as I acknowledge where I'm weak, reminds of my need for God's grace, gentles me and makes me more likely to be gracious to others, cleanses through confession, frees from the bondage of maintaining an image or meeting others' expectations, enlists the power of prayer, promotes healing and health, and done well - accountability builds up and encourages.
5. Committing to marriage and family.  There is no one hard and fast way to do this, for how I demonstrate my commitment to my marriage and family might look quite different than how you do. Key is an intentional, purposeful choice  first made - choosing commitment, supported by continuous effort to keep a covenant relationship, clinging to commitment… regardless. It means I support my husband in the ministry opportunities God gives him; he also supports me, giving me opportunity to serve and work - using the talents and abilities God has given me. It isn't 50/50. It is 100/100. Additionally, our actions and choices should not cause our children to "stumble" and turn away from God. 
6. Choosing teachability. This should include several characteristics such as willing to yield without compromising truth, admitting error when wrong, acquiescing to others who can help, wanting to integrate legitimate new knowledge, secure in self-worth and standing before God, willing to risk, open to evaluation and correction, a listener, welcoming and approachable, accepting responsibility, pursuing others for the purpose of learning, and humble.
7. Determining to be a genuine team player. Genuine teamwork submits, has a shared vision, cooperates and collaborates,  sees the advantage of teamwork, encourages participation and commitment to the team,  communicates authentically, builds unity and often suffers together. 

God offers, every moment of every day, the grace necessary to trust His sovereignty and sufficiency and the strength to pursue obedience in each of these seven priorities. 

Pursuing that grace, a grace which has already pursued and overtaken me, will enable me to serve faithfully, with longevity...

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Comments? 

Series: Longevity in Ministry

• Just Think About a Horseshoe (26 July2014)
• Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God (9 August 2014)
• If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide (23 August 2014)
• The essentials? Or merely superfluous? (13 September 2014)
• Habituate yourself? (27 September 2014)
• One Priority that can Never be in Excess (11 October 2014)
• Of rest and rescue (23 October 2014)
• Dare to Disclose (8 November 2014)
• “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear” (27 November 2014)
• Hoping to resume an abandoned but not forgotten study (13 June 2015)
• Passionately Committed to Marriage and Family (11 July 2015)
• Dressed in Humility (9 August 2015)
• Go fast or go far. It IS your choice. (12 September 2015)
• Its a Wrap! (19 September 2015)

Longevity in Ministry ~ Go fast or go far. It IS your choice...

"Like longevity in life, some basic things are needed -

right genes [to be a child of God], right diet [God's Word],

right exercise [involvement in ministry]

and right environment [a place in God's community - the Church].

The Apostle Paul set it as his goal to walk worthy and finish well. So should we!"

Yet what does the practical outworking of this look like in real life and ministry? How do expats working, ministering and seeking to be Christ’s  “…witnesses… [in] Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth" (Acts 1.8, NASB) sustain long and productive careers?

Based off of a sermon by my home church pastor and some additional, subsequent study, I’ve identified priorities, seven of them, that when practiced, can help protect those in ministry, particularly cross-cultural ministry, from burnout and temptation. Even more than protect, these priorities can also give direction and hope as they help us remember that all is grace and a gift from God.

Those priorities are:

1.       Seeking the Lord, consistently and continually

2.       Praying without ceasing

3.       Balancing personal growth, rest and ministry

4.       Welcoming accountability

5.       Committing to marriage and family

6.       Choosing to be teachable, even in difficult circumstances; and

7.       Determining to be a genuine team player.

This post considers that final priority – determining to be a genuine team player.

I’ve always been competitive. As a young person, I competed as both a gymnast and a swimmer. I swam in college (until a torn rotator cuff ended my years as a swimmer). And while I was always part of a team… the nature of the beast in both of those sports was highly individualistic. There was always a lot of rhetoric about self being the toughest competition – and always reaching for a better score or a faster time.

But? The bottom line…at least for me?  

I wanted to be first and the one standing at the top of the podium with the blue ribbon, biggest medal, the tallest trophy... not just winning out over competitors from other teams, but also scoring higher than/touching ahead of my “teammates.”

And I was okay with that. In fact, my introverted, very private, very individualistic self actually preferred it that way. I could publically cheer for my friends and teammates, but privately celebrate when I was the winner.

So I didn’t, really, learn how to play on a team until freshly finished with university, when I joined a co-ed volleyball team while working as a short-term missionary in SE Asia. First and foremost, volleyball is much more of a team sport to begin with. Occasionally, you hit the ball directly back over the net when it comes your way… but more likely, you try and set up for some sort of play that the opposing team will not be able to return. In this league, two women had to be on the court at all times and one of the rules was that in each series of three hits, one of the women players had to touch the ball. I learned how to be a “team player” in that environment because all of the “guys,” the other players on my team, demonstrated, almost  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. what team playing looked like as they worked to position the ball so that I (or the other female) could contribute to each series of hits. At the same time, I had to learn that, unless the ball came to me for the third hit (which happened only very rarely), my job was to set the ball up so that one of the other members of my team could then slam it down as hard and quickly as possible while aiming for a space on the opposing team’s side that would make it nearly impossible to return.

It took some time to learn that – for a few reasons:

1.       I was so surprised and delighted that I’d actually get an opportunity to touch the ball that I’d hit it, sorta helter-skelter, without any sort of a plan.

2.       I, selfishly, wanted to make a super play so my team would try and get the ball to even more frequently and I could play more – forgetting that super-play skills (I’d never played volleyball before this) were still outside the realm of my ability and that physically (I’m on the shorter side, even though I did have a decent jump), some plays were going to remain forever outside my skill set.

Learning to work together with other people can be a huge challenge. We are continually pummeled with messages promoting individualism and the idea that if you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will. God’s Word also tells us that the world’s philosophy is that looking out for the other guy leads to a last place finish for yourself… that people will be “lovers of themselves… blasphemers, disobedient to parents… unloving, unforgiving slanderers… traitors, headstrong, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God”(from 2 Timothy 3). Additionally, people aren’t always nice to work with. They have different priorities, abrasive personalities, aren’t the greatest of team players themselves, are distracted, are selfish, are arrogant, want to make a good impression on others or are just concerned with pleasing self… in a nutshell, they are sinners.

What does it take to be a team player?

I think back to some of those lessons I learned during my season as a volleyball player.

1. Genuine teamwork must submit to the coordination of a chosen leader (Proverbs 3.5-6)
2. Genuine teamwork requires that every part of the team understands, shares and supports the team’s existence. (Psalm 72.19, Habbakuk 2.14, Ephesians 4.4-6)
3. Genuine teamwork requires the cooperation and collaboration that only comes as we set aside personal differences for the good of the final goal. (James 4.1)
4. Genuine teamwork recognizes that teamwork is better, more productive and effective than individualistic effort. (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12, Mark 6.7)
5. Genuine teamwork encourages team member faithfulness, full participation and steadfast commitment to the team objectives because the contribution of each is critical in achieving objectives. (Matthew 28.18-20, Ephesians 4.11-12)
6. Genuine teamwork means that team members have skills they are willing to offer and competence (or willingness to become competent) in the use of those skills. (2 Timothy 3.16-17, Proverbs 27.17)
7. Genuine teamwork involves authentic communication with the goal of building unity. (Corinthians 1.10, Philemon 1.6)
8. Genuine teamwork is often built around shared suffering (1 Peter 4.13, Romans 8.17-18, Philippians 3.10, 2 Timothy 2.12)

 The title of this post comes from an oft quoted African proverb: “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” And, no doubt about it, sticking it out together for the long haul requires genuine, sacrificial and committed teamwork.

In closing, I’d like to share what I consider to be the two most powerful Scripture passages on not just the importance of genuine teamwork, but also its absolute necessity.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!"

And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"

On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.

And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

while our presentable parts need no special treatment.

But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body,

but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.

(1 Corinthians 12.20-25)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,

but in humility

consider others better

than yourselves.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests,

but also

to the interests of others. 

Philippians 2.3-4

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In the comments, share about a positive teamwork experience where you experienced some of these principles in action?

Series: Longevity in Ministry

• Just Think About a Horseshoe (26 July2014)
• Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God (9 August 2014)
• If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide (23 August 2014)
• The essentials? Or merely superfluous? (13 September 2014)
• Habituate yourself? (27 September 2014)
• One Priority that can Never be in Excess (11 October 2014)
• Of rest and rescue (23 October 2014)
• Dare to Disclose (8 November 2014)
• “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear” (27 November 2014)
• Hoping to resume an abandoned but not forgotten study (13 June 2015)
• Passionately Committed to Marriage and Family (11 July 2015)
• Dressed in Humility (9 August 2015)

Longevity in Ministry - Dressed in Humility

"Like longevity in life, some basic things are needed -

right genes [to be a child of God], right diet [God's Word],

right exercise [involvement in ministry]

and right environment [a place in God's community - the Church].

The Apostle Paul set it as his goal to walk worthy and finish well. So should we!"

Yet what does the practical outworking of this look like in real life and ministry? How do expats working, ministering and seeking to be Christ’s  “…witnesses… [in] Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth" (Acts 1.8, NASB) sustain long and productive careers?

Based off of a sermon by my home church pastor and some additional, subsequent study, I’ve identified priorities, seven of them, that when practiced, can help protect those in ministry, particularly cross-cultural ministry, from burnout and temptation. Even more than protect, these priorities can also give direction and hope as they help us remember that all is grace and a gift from God.

Those priorities are:

1.       Seeking the Lord, consistently and continually

2.       Praying without ceasing

3.       Balancing personal growth, rest and ministry

4.       Welcoming accountability

5.       Committing to marriage and family

6.       Choosing to be teachable, even in difficult circumstances; and

7.       Determining to be a genuine team player.

This post considers that sixth priority – choosing to be teachable, even under and in difficult circumstances.

What does it mean, then, to be teachable?

According to Your Dictionary, teachable can mean:  1) capable of being taught and apt to learn; 2) willing to receive instruction or to learn and/or docile; and 3) that which facilitates instruction. But, teachability involves much more than “smarts” and just being a good student in a traditional academic or teaching situation….

…which reminds me of an African proverb:

“If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.”

Because teachability, in fact, has a lot less to do with academic ability… and has a lot more to do with willingness-to-learn-ability, regardless of the situation, regardless of any personal cost to pride and regardless of thoughts of fairness/rightness. Perhaps it has a lot more to do with character… and very little at all to do with ability.

Perhaps it is easier to define teachability by considering what unteachableness looks like.

1. Someone who is unteachable is someone who is dogmatic and doctrinaire.
2. Someone who is unteachable is repeatedly reactionary and has difficulty submitting to authority with whom they disagree.
3.  Someone who is unteachable feels threatened and defensive when personal beliefs, ideas and/or knowledge are called into question.
4. Someone who is unteachable finds it difficult, if not impossible, to process new and/or contradictory information regarding his/her own “doctrines” without first polluting those new ideas by his/her own personal perceptions and preconceptions.
5. Someone who is unteachable struggles with insecurity.
6. Someone who is unteachable resists change and transitions to any new idea and practices intimidate him/her.
7. Someone who is unteachable cannot take criticism or correction without becoming indignant at the insult… or retaliating in some way.
8. Someone who is unteachable is commonly dissentious and incendiary, choosing angry debate over honest and vulnerable communication.
9. Someone who is unteachable might “overpower” others rather than engaging in genuine fellowship.
10. Someone who is unteachable often blames anyone and everyone else for his/her own failures, rather than accepting responsibility.
11. Someone who is unteachable often claims to love to learn and grow, but wants to figure it all out on his/her own terms and is confident of his/her ability to do so.
12. Someone who is unteachable is, above all else, a proud and, and often subtly, arrogant person.

God’s Word has a lot to say about pride… and humility – but consider one of my favorite verses: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Consider what we just might look like if every day, we literally dressed ourselves in humility. When I taught this passage as a Bible study to the women in our African church, I wanted to help make the passage visual… and as a result… memorable. So I compared each one of those characteristics to an item of clothing the women would wear every single day. Humility was like the head scarf…  “Wearing a head covering says many things - that you are submissive to your husband, that you respect the office and positions of those around you, that you are concerned about the reputation of whom you serve, that you are modest, that you respect and appreciate the W. African culture... Spiritually, covering the head can be an outward sign of inward humility, or recognizing our position relative to both God and others.” And, as we see by all of the debate in the news over head coverings… this “sign” of humility is an immediate identifier.

I copied down(from somewhere – just wish I knew where) this definition of humility: “Not the derogation of self, but instead a reasonable attitude seeing and comprehending with a decent measure of clarity who and what we truly are.”

… which kinda reminds me of another African proverb:  

“One who bathes willingly with cold water doesn’t feel the cold.” 

Genuine humility, above all else, allows me to learn even hard lessons taught by difficult people without quite as much of a sting.

David Murray describes being teachable as “the most important life skill.” I tend to agree with him. But it goes beyond being just a life skill. For those of us who live, work and minister in cross-cultural contexts, it is key, not only to longevity, but also to abundant life, joy, fulfillment and impact in ministry. Ultimately, it is a recognition of God’s sovereign hand, His refusal to allow any waste in our lives and one way He fulfills His promise to cause all things to work together for good. A teachable spirit allows God to use any person, any situation… anything… to further make us like Him. Sometimes that means that we will need to learn wisdom via the mouth of a donkey.

So then, what can teachability look like?

1. Someone who is teachable is someone who is willing to yield and be flexible – but without compromising truth.
2. Someone who is teachable is willing to change views and practices when convincing evidence is presented, and to even admit s/he was wrong.
3. Someone who is teachable recognizes his/her inability or ignorance or inadequacy and acquiesces others who will then be able to help or teach or otherwise come alongside.
4. Someone who is teachable is inquisitive and desires to integrate legitimate new knowledge into practice and application.
5. Someone who is teachable is secure in his/her worth and standing before God.
6. Someone who is teachable will move out of his/her comfort zone to try something new, even if that means making a mistake and possibly looking stupid.
7. Someone who is teachable is open - evaluating criticism or correction while appreciating another’s risk in being willing to help him/her grow by criticizing or correcting.
8. Someone who is teachable listens, carefully and good-naturedly, because s/he longs to learn.
9. Someone who is teachable gently encourages and welcomes the approach of others for the purpose of engaging in genuine fellowship.
10. Someone who is teachable looks to discover his/her contribution to a problem or mistake and accepts responsibility, regardless of how it makes him/her look.
11. Someone who is teachable desires to learn and grow, regularly pursuing others to ask for help, guidance and/or instruction as soon as (or sometimes even before) s/he recognizes the need.
12. Someone who is teachable is, above all else, humble.

Do you see yourself in any of these characteristics, positive or negative?

Would you add anything?

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Series: Longevity in Ministry

• Just Think About a Horseshoe (26 July2014)
• Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God (9 August 2014)
• If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide (23 August 2014)
• The essentials? Or merely superfluous? (13 September 2014)
• Habituate yourself? (27 September 2014)
• One Priority that can Never be in Excess (11 October 2014)
• Of rest and rescue (23 October 2014)
• Dare to Disclose (8 November 2014)
• “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear” (27 November 2014)
• Hoping to resume an abandoned but not forgotten study (13 June 2015)
• Passionately Committed to Marriage and Family (11 July 2015)

To listen to the actual sermon "Start, Run and Finish Well," click here.

Longevity in Ministry ~ Passionately Committed to Marriage and Family

"Like longevity in life, some basic things are needed -

right genes [to be a child of God], right diet [God's Word],

right exercise [involvement in ministry]

and right environment [a place in God's community - the Church].

The Apostle Paul set it as his goal to walk worthy and finish well. So should we!"

Yet what does the practical outworking of this look like in real life and ministry? How do expats working, ministering and seeking to be Christ’s  “…witnesses… [in] Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth" (Acts 1.8, NASB) sustain long and productive careers?

Based off of a sermon by my home church pastor and subsequent study, I’ve identified seven essential priorities that help protect those in ministry, particularly cross-cultural ministry, from burnout and the temptation to sin... ones that direct and give hope for the future... ones that remind that all is grace and a gift from God… ones that will hopefully allow us serve well for exactly the time God has chosen for us…

Those priorities are:

1. Continuously and consistently seeking the Lord
2. Praying without ceasing
3. Balancing personal growth, rest and ministry
4. Welcoming accountability
5. Committing to marriage and family
6. Choosing to be teachable, even in difficult circumstances; and
7. Determining to be a genuine team player.

This post is looking at priority number five – committing to marriage and family.

Let me start off by saying that I do not believe there is one hard and fast way to do this… this commitment thing. How I demonstrate my commitment to my marriage and family might look quite different than how you do. Key is that 1) an intentional, purposeful choice to first made - choosing commitment, 2) a continuous effort is made - working on commitment, and 3) a covenant relationship is kept, clinging to commitment… regardless.

Regardless of the difficulties.

Regardless of the inconveniences.

Regardless of the words and opinions of others…

So what do I mean by commitment to family, in a biblical sense, if you will? I wasn’t exactly sure. It is something we talk about, casually throwing into edifying conversation – but what does God say commitment looks like? To try and find out, I searched both commit and commitment in an online concordance.

First, there are verses like “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act” (Psalm 37.5 ESV), and “Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established” (Proverbs 16.5 ESV). These verses remind that God has chosen to work through us, but He doesn’t need us to accomplish His plans. Believing and living according to this principle frees us to also minister inside our homes. Yes, we work and work intensely – but our work… our ministry… is no excuse to ignore (at one extreme) or slack off even a little bit (at the other extreme) at working on those family relationships and dynamics.

“Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife” (1 Corinthians 7.27) speaks of marriage as a being bound… a binding, knitting, tying and winding together of a man and a woman that should remain.  That means I support my husband in the ministry opportunities God gives him; he also supports me, giving me opportunity to serve and work, using the talents and abilities with which God has graced me. It isn't 50/50. It is 100/100.Today, what did that look like for us? Less than a week after moving (and after an extended furlough/home assignment), he’s itching to dive into a new ministry. So I continue lugging boxes, unpacking suitcases, trying to fit our family into our new (and beautiful) home while trying to keep six kids (who’ve gone from friend-overload to all-alone-in-a-new-city-with-nothing-but-siblings-overload) at least moderately content and engaged all day. After his long day and taking apart a desk that we needed to squeeze down into the basement, he’s now taken all of the kids out and about, exploring our new city, but also giving me the time to put my notes and this post together.  In Matthew 19, Jesus speaks of the marriage commitment – marriage is something God has put together and that men should not seek to separate. Our ministries, at least for this moment, are separate – but we need each other to do them well… sometimes to do them at all. Working together to help each other accomplish individual goals, works to further unite us.

Just a few verses later in Matthew 19, the disciples are rebuked for hindering the little children; in the previous chapter (and additionally in both Mark and Luke), a direly strong warning is given to any who would cause a little one (usually thought to mean a child) to stumble. Consider the list of qualifications given for “overseers” – above reproach in personal life, public life but also family life – husband of one wife, family managed well, obedient children, and mutual respect (i.e. by parents, spouses and children) demonstrated in the home (1 Timothy 3).  Although not all missionaries are “overseers” in a biblical sense of the word, there is no doubt that we are often seen as such and considered ones among the people to whom we minister. Regardless of our ministry, our actions and choices should not cause our children to "stumble" and turn away from God. They must always feel confident that their parents consider them more important than "the work."

A few other passages (I’m sure there are many others, but this study was never intended to be exhaustive – especially as we are smack dab in the middle of transitioning to a new field of ministry and I sit typing surrounded by boxes and piles of clothes and disassembled furniture…) seem relevant. First, at the end of the book of Joshua, Joshua instructs the Israelites to make a choice… and then sets the example:  “…as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." To serve and minister as a family is the model we’ve been given. No one should try and carbon-copy my family’s “style” of service… those dated machines have no relevance today anyway. But do adapt principles and incorporate ideas, commit to making them work in your family and in your situation – not to make them look just like some other family that appears to have it all together.  And frankly, even in our family, what worked before is no longer feasible. Opportunities change, ministries ebb and flow. Our goal should be to focus on the intentional choice to serve as a family, each one doing his/her part.

One passage I never fail to find inspiring and convicting when it comes to our commitment to our tck children: “The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments… are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6.4b-8). We learn to better disciple others as we take time and practice discipling our children… To serve as a family, we need to be taking these Old Testament words to heart.

Second Kings 19 contains a pretty amazing account – although it was a particular phrase that first caught my eye. Hezekiah is king and the Assyrians are after his people. It is God who miraculously delivers Jerusalem from annihilation. There’s also a prophecy given… what will be accomplished by and because of God’s zeal for His people. One translation renders that word zeal as passionate commitment. That was the phrase that grabbed my attention.

Passionate commitment for His people.

A commitment motivated by strong feeling, affection and belonging.

A choice motivated by selfless love and protection.

An intention of working for the absolute, very best for another.

God is zealous for His people. 

I believe He wants us to feel the same - and not just about ministries or other peoples and cultures. He wants us to have a passionate commitment to our marriages, our children… our family. 

Just as Hezekiah recognized He couldn’t protect or save his people, we must understand that it is highly likely our spouses, our children, our families WILL suffer at times because we’ve chosen to serve the Lord in cross-cultural ministry. Like Hezekiah, when we recognize and accept this reality, we are open to seeing our lives, our families, our situations for what they really are. We can see our abilities, but also our "helplessnesses." Then, like Hezekiah, we need to humbly seek the Lord and rest always aware of His continuous, sustaining grace, active and available. He wants the best for our spouse, for our children... even more than we do. Like Hezekiah, we need to seek the Lord and seek out guidance from His Word when it comes to finding those always changing balances between ministry within and without the confines of home. And last, but not least, like Hezekiah, we need to remember that our hope for our families and for our ministries lies in the Lord.

I’ve purposely not given a whole lot of “this is what it looks like in our lives and ministries” to describe "commitment to marriage and family" which is such a critical priority for longevity in cross-cultural ministry. But I do hope that some of these principles will be of help as you seek to discern what said commitment will look like for you in your place of ministry.

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Series: Longevity in Ministry

• Just Think About a Horseshoe (26 July2014)
• Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God (9 August 2014)
• If you don't want to shorten your ministry... obediently abide (23 August 2014)
• The essentials? Or merely superfluous? (13 September 2014)
• Habituate yourself? (27 September 2014)
• One Priority that can Never be in Excess (11 October 2014)
• Of rest and rescue (23 October 2014)
• Dare to Disclose (8 November 2014)
• “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear” (27 November 2014)
• "Hoping to resume an abandoned but not forgotten study" (13 June 2015)

To listen to the actual sermon "Start, Run and Finish Well," click here.