Tuesday Topic: Your mission leaving

From an anonymous reader: Have any of you had your ministry organization decide to pull out of the country where you are serving? How did you deal with the emotions of this? What next steps did you take?

It's not quite the same situation, but this question reminds me of two posts from the old Missionary Moms blog: Dissolved I and Dissolved II.

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Letting the Body of Christ Do Its Job

As missionaries, we have a lot to do in terms of our ministries and caring for those around us (families, as well as friends and neighbours). We are the body of Christ to them. But sometimes life takes us by surprise and we have to let the body of Christ care for us.

When we had a miscarriage earlier this year, I was astounded by all the help we received from our church and organisation. It was a blessing to get a couple of meals provided. We had many offers to babysit our son while I was in hospital. So many people offered their help, and we didn't know what to do with it all.

My husband wanted to make certain to take up every offer of help. I thought we didn't necessarily need the help, though. I felt bad—like we were using them. And besides, how were we going to have all these people help us when we didn't necessarily need all the help?

As a friend of ours was giving us a lift to hospital the week I miscarried, either my husband or I made the comment that we didn't know what to do with all the offers of help, and that we felt guilty for taking it. Our friend kindly reminded us that this is an opportunity to let the body of Christ do it's job. Let them serve—we may not need it, but they do.

This has been one of God's blessings in the midst of our loss: We could allow the body of Christ do what they're called to do. We let them come alongside us and meet our needs. We let them take us to and from hospital, bring us meals, sit with me in hospital, babysit, and keep me company at home. Never in my life have I imagined experiencing the body of Christ from this perspective! It's humbling.

The body of Christ has done its job well.

Because of this, I've been given a new perspective on the body of Christ. As far as I can remember I've always been on the giving end of it... not the receiving end. It's very humbling. I find myself challenged to give more, especially out of the grief that we're experiencing.

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35 (ESV)

Are you walking through a season of trials right now? Let me encourage you to seek encouragement and help from your church, friends and family. If you're not in a season of trials, how can you be the body of Christ to someone near you?

(A version of this post was originally published here.)

"Nobody Even Cares!"

Our first full week back in the US for a two-month furlough, we were offered the opportunity to stay in a family member's lakeside cabin for a few days.  We piled in as many folks as possible and did our best to get the most fun out of 15 people squashed into a tiny two-bedroom house.  It was absolutely terrific.

Before we'd gotten settled in well, the youngest in the crowd (my seven-year old nephew) injured his foot running around the pool area.  He immediately began to cry, but when he noticed the skinned area bleeding, those cries became wails and his volume exponentially increased.  We adults pitched in with comments meant to distract him while Mom administered first aid: "Wow! That was quite an acrobatic stunt you performed!" "You have got to be the toughest little monkey around!" "You are gonna have the neatest band-aid in town!" 

His response?  He made the saddest little face ever and looked up at his mom, barely eeking out in a whisper, "It hurts so bad and nobody even CARES!"

We were well-intentioned in encouraging him and trying to keep the little guy from freaking out, but he just wanted us to recognize his pain and let him cry a bit.  

I wonder how many times I do this with adults who are dealing with a bit more than a scraped foot, and even with my children as they deal with the inevitable and constant change involved in our lifestyle.  Sometimes folks just need me to come along beside them, offer a shoulder to cry on, and acknowledge their pain.  Instead, I tell them how strong they are, give them a pat on the back, and point out how God is going to use this for His glory. 

Sure, there is a place for encouragement, but my nephew's reaction reminded me that sometimes, like Job, people need me to simply be there for them, sitting beside them as they grieve and giving them permission to react to the pain.  

How does this look in real life?  As a mom, how do you allow for healthy grieving and adjustment?

Tuesday Topic: Public transport

This is a spin off from last week's question. We recently moved from a small town, where we only had to use buses to go to other cities, to a much larger city, where almost everything involves public transport. I'm finding that it's a bit different now with four children, than it was the last time I lived in a big city. So, I'm curious: Do you use public transportation? Do you have any tips for navigating buses (and more) with children?

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Kids on the Field: Traditions with a Twist

This last weekend was Labor Day in the States (does the US have to do EVERYTHING different?  Why is our Labor Day in September and not in May like everyone else?)  Our oldest is attending a school that runs on the US schedule and so he got US Labor Day off.  Funny, I know.

So in an effort to teach our kids not only the Tico holidays (He had Costa Rican Mother's Day off two weeks ago and will have Costa Rican Independence Day off in two weeks) we thought we would try to do some traditional Labor Day things, you know with a Costa Rican Twist.

Now, Costa Rica doesn't have many lakes which figure heavily into Michigan Labor Day traditions (you are never more than 6 miles from a lake in The Mitten State).  But you still roast hot dogs over the fire and camp right?  Well...

We have had a fire in our driveway a couple of times and that was the plan...until we remembered it's rainy season and there was a impressive downpour late afternoon.  So we made pigs in a blanket (I used my pizza dough recipe and wrapped it around the hot dogs and baked them.) and had carrot sticks and chips...totally Labor Day food.

And then we went camping.  We have a great covered deck, so early that day we rigged up a tent of sorts with a tarp, a few sheets and some clothes pins.  The boys had a blast getting everything ready.  The plan was to sleep out there in our "awesome sleeping bags"!  Well...

As I was getting the boys ready for "bed" our middle guy said, "I can't wait to go in the tent!  I don't want to sleep in there. I like my bed!"  Yeah, I like how in the same breath he's excited and not excited. But we tried to talk him into it...and it worked for a whole half hour while they played. And then when it was really time to sleep, he gave up and came in.  Our oldest lasted another 5 minutes without his brother.  So much for camping!   Shhhh, don't tell them, but I was glad I didn't have to sleep out on the hard deck...just sayin.

Ok, so what Traditions do you give a Twist? 

Tuesday Topic: Driving (or not)

I'm a little late here, but it's still Tuesday, and I'm back online! Hurrah! (Send me some more Tuesday Topics, please.)

Here is a topic that came in while I was gone:
After 12 years of living in the Middle East I finally double parked my car on the outer lane of a busy street for the FIRST TIME. I turned on my hazard lights before I ran into the store. Just like everyone else does! I said a prayer for my car, that it wouldn't get hit by oncoming traffic, and I also repented for all the times I've judged drivers for doing that! Maybe I'm finally getting contextualized here!

On a serious note, what is traffic like where you live and how do you feel about driving? Or if you don't drive how do you feel about that?

(If you have a “Tuesday Topic” question, please email it to me at fylliska@gmail.com. Provide your blog address if you would like to be linked to, or specify if you would like to remain anonymous. Thanks!)

Wedding, Circumcision, or Baptism?

Ten minutes before my teenagers’ baptism was scheduled to begin, God drenched our entire city in a torrential downpour, the first rain in three months. Rain dripped and poured into the building through cracks in windows and doors.  Friends called, saying they were stranded. 

“Oh no,” I thought, “We’ve been waiting for this milestone celebration for such a long time. How can this be happening?”

A short half hour later, however, the floors were mopped, and the last wet friends straggled in. My husband and I had the privilege of baptizing our 16 year old son and 14 year old daughter along with another couple who baptized their daughter. We shared this beautiful family event with 50 friends.  Afterwards several Turks commented, “That was just like a wedding!”

When I heard that, I felt happy inside because it was exactly what I’d dreamed of.  Here in Turkey, people celebrate the circumcisions of their sons much like they do a wedding: with invitations, special clothes and a big party. In fact they use the same word, "wedding," for both events.

“Why not celebrate our baptisms the same way?” I thought. "This is a big deal. Let’s have a party!” So we printed invitations, and visited our closest friends, Christian and Muslim, to deliver them personally. This turned into a great opportunity to share good news.

“Why are they getting baptized now?” our Muslim friends asked.” We thought that was for babies.” We explained that putting your faith in Christ was a personal decision, not one that your parents made for you.

Thanks to many friends’ help, the event was memorable. We made programs, food for the party afterwards, and the two girls made favors to give to guests: candy wrapped in purple tulle tied with ribbon. Hearing my kids give their testimony in Turkish touched me most. After each baptism, the group sang the song that each young person chose. Later people stayed longer than I expected enjoying the food and conversation.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said a Muslim friend. “I was amazed by that idea that each of your kids is God’s gift, uniquely and wonderfully created. How wonderful that you do not force your faith upon them. They are free to choose.”

I smiled for days after our celebration, giving thanks to God for:

My Kids:

They took a big step to express their faith publicly.  God encouraged them through the celebration held for them.  With fervor and excitement, our Turkish sister prayed for them.  Another Turkish friend brought them silver rings. (Why didn’t I, their mother, think of that?)

An Opportunity for Culturally Relevant Witness:

We had a unique opportunity to express our faith to some of our friends in a culturally relevant way. A few friends who have not been open to come to a church service enjoyed our family celebration and heard good news at the same time.

What about your special events? Have you adopted any local customs into your celebrations?